stopping b/f at 2 and half months - should i feel guilty?!?!

[SallyOak]

i have been b/f my ds for 2 1/2 months and he is getting more and more figity when i try and feed him. we have been mix feeding him for a while but he seems a lot happier with the bottle. just feel really guilty - should i?

[formerlyknownasfatslag]

No. Move on. You've done the best for him by bf up to now - the first months are the most important. This happened to my sister - she introduced a bottle and my nephew who was a greedy little monster understood very quickly that he got his milk more quickly and easily from the bottle than from the boob. She was distraught, kept fighting with him for a few weeks until the hv told her that everyone would be happier if she just gave him a bottle.

If you really really really want to continue to bf, you need to throw out every bottle in the house and put the baby to the boob every hour on the hour until he understands that milk comes from boobs and not from bottles. You will go through several days of hell. I had a friend who did this. She won the battle in the end - but is it worth it?

[Brangelina]

I think it's worth it, I ditched the bottles and got my DD back on my boob and excl bfed to 6 months and I'm so glad I did. I'm still bfeeding now at 2 and the satisfaction is immense.

I'd do it again in a flash, only this time I wouldn't get coerced into giving top ups in the first place, but that's another story.

It really depends on what you want. I'm a stubborn bint and wasn't going to let the formula win when I had gallons of goodness in my boobs. It is hard but it gets easier as you go along, particularly when you start weaning. You'll actually have more mobility than a formula feeder - I remember a friend of mine had lug this huge bag for bottles, warm water and formula everytime we popped out for a coffee. All I had to do was whip my boob out.

[EmsMum]

Nope. Read whatever advice you are given here, make your own mind up what is best for you and your baby and do it. My own experience was more or less like Brangelina's but thats me not you. Don't feel guilty. Its a waste of emotional energy.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[formerlyknownasfatslag]

Respect! Agree with you about the top ups. With ds1 I introduced the bottle with EBM and the cup and he self-weaned at 10 months and then refused to drink milk all together. With ds2 I haven't introduced the bottle even of EBM. OK, I can't leave him for more than a couple of hours, but hopefully I will be able to bf for longer.

I don't think I could bear to go through a nursing strike, the thought of my little bundle screaming for food would just kill me, I know I would give in!

[demonaid]

You don't need to feel guilty. It's extremely hard to make mixed feeding work long-term at that age for just the reasons you are describing, so you have done well to keep it up this long. Realistically your options are going to almost exclusive breastfeeding rather than mixed feeding or going to exclusive formula feeding, and that's a personal decision -- but not one you should feel guilty about whichever way you go. There will be enough pangs of maternal guilt in the course of your DS's life without your getting started now...

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

There's no need to feel guilty, but there's also no need to completely stop breastfeeding if you enjoy it. My lo is 11 weeks old, and we're mix feeding fairly successfully. I breastfed exclusively up until 3 weeks old, but it got to a point where I was dehydrated and frazzled, and he was either feeding, or screaming for milk I didn't feel I had, probably because I had no time to cook proper food or look after myself, it was a vicious circle. The pressure was stupid and unnecessary.

He also wasn't putting on any weight, or shifting his jaundice. So I started to give him the odd supplementary feed, and he finally lost the jaundice, and started to put on some weight. We are still mix feeding, although it's about 75% formula now, it means there's absolutely no pressure to breastfeed, so it's nice just to be able to feed him whenever I want during the day/night. He's still getting my antibodies and plenty of bonding time, and I get more freedom when I need it. The cooking/shopping/cleaning don't do themselves yet unfortunately!

I'll be honest- the cost, the extra washing up, the sterilising, and the planning ahead is all a pain in the arse, especially after the utter convenience of breastfeeding. And lugging about all the feeding paraphrenalia just so I can go out for an hour is a real pain, BUT then again I can't really breastfeed in public anyway because I can only feed him in the football hold with him supported with a million pillows. Not easily accomplished in your average mother and baby room, never mind in a cafe.

I don't regret mix feeding now (after a week or so of feeling utterly guilty initially) as it has made me enjoy my time with my baby so much more now the pressure is off and neither of us are in tears, and can enjoy breastfeeding without the worry of "am I producing enough?" "is he gaining enough weight?"

I think we have the best of both worlds. But remember, the bottom line is that no-one in real life will comment on what you choose, so do what suits you and your baby, don't feel guilty just because of MN.

[doggiesayswoof]

I'll get shot for saying this - but why are you feeling guilty?

If it's because of peer pressure, or mn pressure, then switch to ff and carry on.

If it's because you really wanted to bf, and you still think it's the best way, then you might regret giving up altogether.

Imagine how you would feel if you knew you would never bf him again - if you feel happy with that, then fine. But if bf is still what you want, I think it IS worth a bit of a fight.

Brangelina's advice is good imo.

And I'm NOT trying to make you feel guilty

[TheYoungVisiter]

I don't think you should feel guilty if you truly don't want to bf, but on the other hand you might be missing out on the best bits. IME the first few months were the hardest, breast-feeding gets better and easier the longer you go on. It seems a shame to do the hard bit and then give up!

Also being fidgety doesn't necessarily mean he isn't enjoying it - there is more to bfing than just nourishment. He may enjoy snuggling into you and nuzzling around.

[annthesurveyor]

No you shouldn't. You did much better than me, I gave up after 1 day (expressed for another 2 weeks) as I had no milk for 4 days and DD was getting dehydrated.

Bottle feeding is working for me as DD is thiving. While I agree breast is best I think there is a lot of unnecessary guilt put on people to breastfeed. As I told the breastfeeding midwives who as good as called me a failure for bottle feeding, I got a first class hons degree and was bottle fed. Pay no heed to the guilt trips.

Trust your instincts and do what you feel is right for your baby, you can't go wrong.

[SallyOak]

thank you all very much! i asked my self the question of if i stop b/f would i miss it and to be truthful the answer is no. i was doing it for the health benifits.

i was bottle fed and i am healthy, of normal weight (well i was before having ds!!!)and am a teacher so it can't be that bad for you!!!!

i wish there wasn't all this pressure and to made to feel guilty if you just don't want to b/f not that you can't.

ds is putting on more weight now he is ff and seems alot happier. i may keep one feed as breast feeding ......... hmmmmm the decisions!!!