three hours between feeds?

[jujumaman]

sigh. I've done this all before fed dd1 successfully until 13 months but with dd2 at eight weeks am so sleep deprived I just can't remember what to do. I know you ideally need to space the feeds three hours daily so they don't snack but dd2 is a little bugger like her sister and is often wide awake an hour before her feed is due and screaming. I know the bf lobby will say always feed her, but I also know there is some sense in spacing feeds so they don't become snackers and don't eat or sleep properly. But how else can you keep an eight week old happy for an hour? I did get dd1 into a routine between 8-12 weeks so I know it can be done but have no idea how! Thank you

[bizziebee]

Hi there. What happens if you take her for a walk in the pushchair / sling? It kept mine distracted for a bit so we could stretch out feed times.

[tiktok]

Nothing wrong with snacking, juju....it really doesn't mean they don't eat or sleep properly.

If your baby needs feeding sooner than the clock says, maybe it's a bit unkind not to let her feed - especially if she has to wait a whole hour.

It's summer and despite the rain we have had some hot spells. She might be thirsty, too.

If your older child asks you for a drink, do you refuse her if it's been less than three hours since she had one? Or do you simply get her a drink?

Or what if you fancy a cup of tea or coffee? Do you tell yourself you are not allowed one because it's not three hours since your breakfast?

It's a bugger about the sleep deprivation - lots of ways to make this better without adding to your stressors by not feeding the baby!

Just MHO....

[bizziebee]

tiktok - juju has made it clear that she wants to get her baby into a routine. I don't think you are being fair suggesting that she is being 'unkind'.

[barefeete]

I have had the same problem with DD2 (now 16 weeks) DS1 was a classic textbook baby and ate 3 hourly from the 1st week. He always slept on cue and would sleep in his cot for and hour and a half and would then eat and play beautifully - oh and he slept through the night at 5 weeks! DD2 feeds very differently. She has always fed every 2-3 hours but more on the 2 hourly side. She sleeps for 20 mins at a stretch and cries hideously if you put her into her cot during the day. She loves being carried and hates to be on the playmat for more than 5 mins and she only sleeps from 11pm till 4am and will then feed again at 6am and then 8:30am. After driving myself nuts for the first 8 - 12 weeks that she wasn't in a routine and that i hadn't fulfilled my job properly and i decided to just do what she did. I wrote a sleep diary and found that she did have regular naps and would sometimes sneak a longer nap in which would be a blessing. She is very happy, growing amazingly well and just a very precious princess in comparison to her older more independant brother. Just 2 very different fish. I REALLY do understand why a routine is good (and i too forgot completly what i did the first time and it drove me nuts), especially with 2 kids as you then know what to expect and it makes life so much more easier. I just have to feed in the car a lot more now! hope this helps in some small way.

Don't worry about it

[barefeete]

I was supposed to put after the 'don't worry about it...it does seem to settle down at 12 weeks'

[gegs73]

Can you try her with a dummy?

[Seona1973]

my ds was bottle fed but as long as he had gone 2.5 hours without a feed I would feed him. I did try him with the dummy first to hold him off a little bit but if he was genuinely hungry I would feed him. An hour is a long time to hold your lo off for if they are hungry (and breastmilk is digested quicker than formula)

[jujumaman]

Thanks everyone so much, of course I don't want to be unkind and I would never wait a whole hour for a feed just to do what the books say you should, I always feed her. But sorry tiktok I disagree - if she snacks she doesn't sleep well and then she's exhausted at the next feed and doesn't eat well and it's miserable for her and you get in a vicious circle where she's always tired and always exhausted. Walks are the best way to settle a baby but as all of us with two will know it's not always possible to drag the toddler out of the house and walk for an hour to stop their younger sibling yelling. I can't co sleep as she won't settle in bed beside me, but she sleeps right next to me so night feeds are quick and relatively pain free and she does settle after them, it's just the horror of long days with a toddler and a baby who screams all the time when you are out of your mind with exhaustion (plus still find it very hard to lift toddler after second c section which is another story ..)Anyway, enough moaning,they're beautiful girls and i'm lucky to have them. thanks again mnetters for your support and I know it will get better soon

[olmama]

Just wanted to let you know someone else out there going through the same thing with 2! My dd is 9 weeks, and I am really struggling with day times and the screaming! She only goes about 2 hours during the day between feeds(3-4 at night) and with trying to entertain my 18month old ds all day too I think i am going crazy with tiredness!

Have you tried the baby whisperer book? (or www.babywhisperer.com) I'm finding that really helpful when trying to get an eat/sleep routine going -although as with alot of these parenting books you take what you find useful, and ignore the stuff you disagree with! Good luck, hope your sleep gets better soon!

[barefeete]

I'm a big babywhisperer fan also olmama (which i know is a bit conroversial on MN!)but i really like the listening to your baby bit which always helped me out with both of mine. Nevertheless 2 kids is hideous and a massive shock so a huge hug from me as i truely know where you are at the moment and will be up a few times myself tonight to feed even though i know she doesn't need the bloody milk i still feed her because a) I am frigging tired and b)there is no way on god's earth that i want her to wake the Monkey man up! Also c) DH moans if she cries and says annoying "why don't you just feed her she's probably hungrey" and then drifts off into an amazingly beautiful sleep where he can dream about faries and trolls and lands of green lush fireld with trees that have gold and silver...blah blah blah

[jujumaman]

Hi Olmama and others, have read babywhisperer who I sort of like, but she is another they can wait three hours advocate which depresses me. Screamy babies are just the pits, though I miraculously still adore mine. Got freaked out by book I dipped into today, saying no way should they be up more than once in the night after six weeks. Made me feel TOTALLY inadequate. Grrr and good luck to all of you out there going through the same misery x

[barefeete]

juju - i have a 4 month old who is still waking up at least once but sometimes she seems to want to cram feed in the morning between 5 and 8am!!!! at least it is summer and not cold!