Help: tearful feeding (both of us). Sorry this is long...

[Mamablee]

After a good start with BF my 5 week old DS now cries and writhes in pain with nearly all his feeds and sorry if I sound dim but as my first baby I'm really struggling to work out why. I was adamant I wanted to BF but it's so upsetting it's got to the point where I am considering giving up.

At first I thought it might be wind/colic so have been giving him Infacol and paying special attention to winding. This seemed to abate most of the crying/legs pumping up and down between feeds, but he was still distressed at feed time.

I then thought it might be that I have fast letdown/too much milk as he will splutter and pull off the breast screaming, and milk does seem to spurt everywhere. Plus his weight gain has been approx 1lb a week which seems quite high and maybe consistent with a lot of milk (he was a large baby at birth - 9lb 6oz). I read something about this on one of the posts where Tik Tok talked thru one-sided feeding so have been doing that for the last couple of days. For the first day it seemed to improve but the last 12+ hours have been a struggle again. Maybe I haven't given it enough time to settle down, or maybe it is something else?

Could it be thrush? I've just finished taking antibiotics for infected episiotomy. He doesn't have the white flecks/coating in his mouth as far as I can see. Last night I did have shooting pains in my breast, but haven't had anything since then.

Or could he be teething? It sounds very early to me from what little I know but sometimes he drools between feeds and sometimes when he cries he puts his hands in his mouth.

Sorry if this has been posted on elsewhere but am new to MN and just finding my way around. Am so exhausted I haven't a clue what to do for the best, sorry to ramble on, any help desperately appreciated.

[tiktok]

Mamablee - from what you say, you tick all the boxes for generous supply, and if the technique of feeding one sided seemed to work for a time, then it is worth sticking with, and lengthening the time between sides even more...that is, if you find using one breast only for a period of, say, four hours helped, extend that to five hours and even six.

It's far more likely to be this than any other thing you have in your post, I think.

[tiktok]

Sorry, guys, this is not teething!

[laundrylover]

Mamablee, you're doing very well and at 5 weeks the sleep deprivation often kicks, you start to come down off your high and the realities of life with a tiny baby kick in! This happens whether you are breast or bottle feeding and wibbles are common!

First off, do you have a bfing support group nearby that you culd go to for reassurance/get your latch checked? One to one advice is always so much better.

If you had thrush you would have deep shooting pains throughout the feed and more so afterwards so this doesn't sound likely but ask your MW to check you out anyway.

The fast letdown could be causing him to pull off so have you tried expressing a bit first (by hand is fine) to take the presssure of a bit? You should be pleased that you have lots of milk and look at his weight gain - fab.

Teething - not likely but it is possible. Some babies are constant dribblers though and hand sucking is just another baby thing. Can you feel any teeth through his gums?

Wind - again some babies are very windy and again this is unlikely to improve by switching to formula - some people find Infacol works, some don't rate it. Have you tried different winding positions? I used to lay DD1 over my knee with her tummy on my leg and rub her back til she burped - DD2 was never winded 'cos I didn't have time!

Hope some of this is of help - also imagine what your life would be like if you stopped bfing, had all the hassle of bottles and your DS was still the same! In a few weeks you'll look back and wonder why everything seemed so bad - stick with it and take each day at a time, get some support and some sleep when you can. Good luck.

[Mamablee]

Thanks everyone for your help. Have just managed to grab breakfast and a shower so feeling more sane now

Laundrylover - I'm not sure if there is a local BF support group - to complicate matters we're moving 50 miles away next week - but will investigate both here and new home. Definitely feel I want this checked. Had been obsessed about my latch but as I've been trying to make DS more vertical to cope with feed speed I wonder if this has suffered??

I'm not sure I'm quite there with hand expressing yet but I have been letting the early flow of milk spray into a muslin before re-latching to try and calm down the flow. This seems to work sometimes, sometimes not, but maybe I haven't given it enough time.

Thanks for the winding suggestion - i normally do him sitting up or over my shoulder so will def try this.

Tik tok - I have been feeding one-sided for 6 hours at a time. At one point yesterday I was considering shortening it to 4/5 hours as the second and third feed on one boob took ages (nearly an hour and he's normally done in 10 mins). Was worried that he was now not getting enough. I was expecting he might struggle on the first feed with each boob, which he did, but last night he squirmed and screamed on every feed. I started the O/S feeding on Tuesday afternoon - am I being too impatient and should I give it more time to settle?

Littlelapin - thanks for the fast letdown info. Some I had been doing on instinct which makes me feel more confident in my own abilities but there's loads more here for me to look at.

[tiktok]

Sorry, rabbit - sounded a bit snippy and didn;t mean to

[tiktok]

mama - you have seen a difference, though intermittent, with one sided feeding, and yes, it is too early to decide it's not gonna work.

Please do not worry about the amount he is getting. He will get what he needs on one side - heavens, this is a baby who is thriving and a mum who can feed for England....production of milk and milk transfer and baby growth is not a problem

You are doing well. It's a shame all this is happening at the same time as you are moving house which as we all know is a horrible time.

[pavlovthecat]

Mamablee - I dont have much in the way of advice but wanted to say well done you for bf'ing in the first place, its difficult at times and it will test your patience, strength of resolve and be hard for you and your LO on occasion. But you are doing great.

Welcome to MN too

[EffiePerine]

Have you tried feeding lying down? Can be a bit tricky at first, but can help with fast let down - as can feeding on you back so the milk is travelling uphill IYSWIM.

I had this with DS - he also had colic - and though it took a while for him to get used to the let down he is fine now. The great thing I found ws the feeds were so short - esp good in the middle of the night - and he also put on weight quckly and steadily. If you planning on expressing in the future it's also great for getting a good amount of milk in little time

[Mamablee]

Thanks everyone for your welcome and support. Feel a lot more positive now. Just had 3rd feed on left boob - still spluttering, screaming, pulling off but was a bit reduced from the 2nd feed earlier this morning so there's progress!

DH always says I'm the world's most impatient woman so will keep going with O/S feeding, also will try and express more pre-feed until supply calms down.

Thanks for the lying down trick - perfect for that 'jesus, it's 5am' feed!

One thought: I've been having hot salty baths every evening to help episiotomy healing (plus hot shower in morning). Do you think that could encourage more milk and explain why evening/mornings are more traumatic and afternoons are more settled?

Moving now is a bit of a nightmare, but we're leaving London for the country so it will be good for the little fella (and his parents!) in the long run I hope!

[laundrylover]

Make sure you take a back seat on the move Mama. We moved when DD1 was 6 months and that was bad enough - I sat on a wall and cried! Bear in mind the positives of bfing when you can just stick him on a boob amidst all the boxes!

I don't think that the hot baths would affect milk supply and it it sometimes is just teh way that some feeds are better than others. Lots of babies (mine inc.) cluster feed in the evenings for instance in the early days, maybe because they are tired but don't want to admit it?

I think that sometimes we try to find all sorts of problems and causes when in fact that's just what babies are like (does that make sense?). This is why I'm not a fan of routine and 'baby books' as I believe taht you know your baby best and you are a good case, finding that your instincts have driven your bfing already.

[liath]

I was struggling with fast let down at 5 weeks too. Block feeding helped but I still had good and bad feeds. It has got a LOT better, though - ds is 9 weeks now and a fast let down now means quick feeds - a God-send at night. Stick with it and your baby will start to cope better with getting a faceful of milk whenever they go near you !!

[TheOldestCat]

Mamablee

No expert advice here, but I was you at 5 weeks! I did get thrush in my nipples after taking antibiotics for the same infection - DD didn't have any symptoms, but feeding was very painful for me. Might be worth getting it checked out? Am sure someone more expert can advise you on this.

I fed on one-side only each feed and it helped us. Also, expressing a tiny bit off before a feed helped her and winding by lying her down on my knees or along my arm moved the wind along. We were never sure if infacol made much difference to be honest and stopped using it after a few weeks.

About 8 weeks, I think, things settled down and the let-down didn't seem so strong. There was less squirting everywhere for one thing!

Anyway, all I can say is - DD was exactly the same and things changed.

[fearscape]

Might be a long shot but have you considered reflux? This is where milk comes back up from the stomach into the mouth and is very uncomfortable. Most babies are sick with it but my ds had silent reflux where they swallow it back down instead. Tends to be worse when the baby is lain on their back so they can be poor sleepers. Maybe ask your gp or hv if he doesn't get better, as if it is reflux there is medication he can take to help. If he is not being sick, specifically mention silent reflux as some hv (and probably gps) aren't very aware of it.

Good luck, hope it gets better soon.

[Mamablee]

Hi again,

There's definitely been an improvement with the one sided/block feeding which is great. DS seems to be coping better and I feel like I am not producing quite the number of gallons I was! Also been feeding more lying on my back or side which helps.

Thanks for your point on reflux Fearscape. I had wondered about that but didn't know much about it. DS often makes lots of swallowing liquidy sounds (if that makes sense) when I put him down after night feeds - don't know if this indicates silent reflux or not? Will bring it up with new GP as he is due 6 week check.

Also good to hear from people that it will get better in time - that seems to be a mantra for new mums!

[fearscape]

My ds also made swallowing liquidy sounds. I always assumed this was the milk coming back up and him swallowing it down - although he is my first so have no idea if all babies do this! He was also a very snuffly breather. If you google reflux baby you should find plenty of suggestions to help relieve symptoms, I was shown how to feed him in the rugby ball hold and keep him very upright so that he was almost sitting up facing me (I needed lots of cushions behind my back), you could try that for now and see if it helps. We also then held him upright for half an hour after each feed (a killer at 3am!). He had severe reflux though and was on three medications.

[rainbow83]

hi,

i had similar issues. you know what it sounds like to me. it sounds like he isn't hungry- he wants to comfort suck but your fast let down is not allowing him to. try a dummy. i had fast let down too and realised sometimes she wants to suck without the milk gush. a dummy helped me space out feeds. and now my letdown has calmed down at 5 months i dont need the dummy anymore. give it a go and good luck.