brilliant breastfeeding after bad experience

[ionesmum]

Hello! I haven't been here for a while but a couple of years ago I used to post lots of messages here about how sad I was that my lovely little dd couldn't breastfeed after she was in NICU... anyway, I got so much support that I felt I had to pop back and say that I now have another little dd, dream planned c-section and, four months down the line she has been exclusively breastfed from day one with no problems. I'm loving every minute of it, and I want to tell other mums who have had problems in the past that things can be so different the second time around. (And dd1 is none the worse for not being breastfed either!)

[Aero]

How lovely for you. I'm relatively new here and am still having bf problems, even though ds2 is six months old and perfectly healthy, and have had since he was born. I have received lots of support from here and am very grateful. He's my 3rd child and I fed ds1 and dd with no problems, but I'm pretty used to it and deal with each problem (usually a duct blockage) as it arises. Just desperate not to become ill again with mastitis! It's lovely to read your story though and I'm glad all is going well for you.

[Ghosty]

ionesmum .... congratulations on the birth of your little dd and well done on the B/F!
I too am a successful second timer. I gave up b/fing DS at 6 weeks due to PND and other issues and regretted it ever since.
DD is nearly six months old now and although she is well established on solids now, all her milk is breastmilk and I feel so immensely proud of myself and of her for doing so well.
You are right, just because it doesn't work out first time round it doesn't mean you will never be able to breastfeed future babies ...
Hugs {{{{{}}}}}

[mears]

Hello again Ionesmum How lovely to see you posting. I have often wondered how you are getting on. It is so wonderful that you are successfully B/F dd2. I remember what angst you had and am so glad that you sound so happy. Do you remember Jasper and her feeding problems? She is still B/F her third child who is over 2yrs now. She is absolutely amazed at how wonderful she has found it all after her first 2 experiences. Hope you'll stay and post regularly.

[Yorkiegirl]

Message withdrawn

[prettycandles]

Another successful second-timer here! Mixed-fed ds until 5.5m, but am still breastfeeding dd at 19m. One thing that really makes me feel good about myself .

[Piffleoffagus]

marvellous story to hear IM...
WEll done to you!

[Beatrice]

Thanks so much for your post, ionesmum. I'm still struggling to get over my failure to feed dd (now nearly 6 months)and have even been wondering if I can bear to have a second child and go through it all again. It's great to hear that you think your dd1 is none the worse for having been bottle fed, and that things can work out so well the second time. Congratulations to you, and thanks again for posting such a happy story!

[Amaryllis]

again, it's really good to hear such a positve story from ghosty and ionesmum. I'm another person who stopped bf after a few weeks with dd1, and sooo hope it won'y=t be the same with dd2

A

[ScummyMummy]

Lovely to hear from you, ionesmum. So glad things are going well for you and your girls.

[Demented]

It's great to hear from you ionesmum, congratulations on your new(ish) baby!

Fantastic to hear that the feeding has worked out this time!

I had a difficult time feeding my DS1 and introduced formula and subsequently gave up long before I intended to but I ended up feeding DS2 until he was 16 months when he stopped of his own accord.

It's wonderful when it works out!

[Tommy]

Good for you Ionesmum! I'm in a similar situation. Tried to breastfeed DS1 and it all went pear shaped. He was on a bottle at 3 weeks and I'd stopped completely by 13 weeks. I am still breast feeding DS2 (11m) and I donated loads of milk to the milk bank too! I think alot of it had to do with an easier labour and birth but also I was more relaxed and knew that if the bfeeding didn't work out second time round then it wouldn't be the end of the world (which I though it was with DS1)
Really pleased for you

[Marina]

ionesmum, that is so spooky - I was thinking of you this very morning as I ambled in to work and wondering how you were doing, I remembered your posts of the subject very well.
MANY congratulations on the safe arrival of dd2 and on getting b/f to work for you this time round. How lovely to hear that!

[bunnyrabbit]

ionesmum,
Thank you so much for your post. I had a dreadful time trying to BF DS and it's one of the only things that concerns me when I think of having another baby.

So very good to hear that it can work the second time round.

Congrats to you and your new bundle.

BR

[dinny]

Ionesmum, thanks for posting - so glad things worked out for you second time round. I'm expecting ny second in Sept and so badly want it to happen this time.
It's uplifting to read that it can work out the second time round. Dinny

[dinny]

Forgot to ask - does feeding your second child help with the hurt from not feeding the first? Dinny x

[Demented]

dinny, I can only speak of my own experience here but I found when the feeding was going really well with DS2, I delighted about it but I did feel a bit sad that I hadn't been able to do the same for DS1, as time went on I began to realise that I should have thrown in the towel with DS1 much earlier than I did rather than putting him and me through the pain and no doubt hunger on his part, it became very obvious the difference in the two feeding experiences and that without better help things would never have been right with DS1. I then began to accept that I didn't have the right sort of help with DS1 (hadn't discovered Mumsnet back then, didn't know what help was available) and I did the best I could in the circumstances. For me I no longer feel any guilt about b/feeding.

All the best with the new baby.

[ionesmum]

Oooh, it's so lovely to read such great messages. I feel quite chuffed!

Dinny, yes it does take the pain away, big time. At first with dd2 feeding so well I did feel a bit sad about dd1 but as Demented says, when things go well you realise just how hard it was the first time, and I have now accepted that b/f my first was just a non-starter. The biggest thing (apart from dd1 being ravenous and distressed) was that b/f had become a barrier to me and dd1 bonding, and once I bottlefed we bonded really well, so although I felt terrible I had done the right thing by dd1. I am also aware of the extra factors (apart from dd1's difficult birth) that compounded the problems and so had taken steps to put them right beforehand. Last time I pumped a lot and this time I didn't and my supply found its own level. I also bought Lasinoh cream (or whatever it's called) which is purified lanolin and I took it into hospital with me so that I had it if my nipples cracked, which they did for 24 hrs until my milk came in. I also bought Clare Byam Cook's video 'Breastfeeding Without Tears' which some really good advice on positioning including some case studies where you can see her using her techniques with mums with feeding problems. I know not everyone will agree with her advice - she doesn't believe that nipple confusion happens, for example - but I just ignored the bits that I didn't agree with. On actual positioning and avoiding the soreness/cracking the video was invaluable. I watched it several times before I went into hospital. Oh, and I have found a rocking chair very useful too, although they are not cheap.

Breastfeeding dd2 is one of the best things that I have ever done. She is only 18 weeks and weighs nearly 16lbs, which is double her birth weight. I cannot tell you how that makes me feel. But I feel just as proud and fulfilled when I look at dd1 and see a healthy, happy and secure little girl who is a delight to be with.

Good luck Dinny and everyone else who hopes for a better time with baby no. 2.

HTH!

Ionesmum x

P.s. lovely that so many of the lovely people that I remember so fondly from my time here remember me!!!!

[Freddiecat]

Hello I thought i'd post on here as I seem to be doing pretty well feeding DD at the moment (4 weeks) which is such a massive boost after I stopped feeding DS at 10 days.

Like others here I have spent the last 2 years regretting stopping feeding DS so early. He just did not seem to take the breast hardly at all and would cry and pull away and generally cause me agony. I was also worried about being gawped at so would close the curtains to feed and when he fed all day I got depressed sitting in the dark.

I did a few things like Ionesmum - borrowed a book from the library and took Lansinoh into hospital. I also bought a feeding pillow and took that into hospital too. The health visitor helped me realise that when DD fusses at the breast (which is what DS did) it's more than likely she has wind which has helped a lot! I also made a conscious decision that I wasa not going to be coy about things at all and would therefore not retreat to a private room for every feed - only if we needed peace and quiet. This resulted in me feeding infront of my FIL on day 2! And on day 8 we had a nice feed on a day trip on a steam railway!

And now the soreness has gone, we don't need all the pillows and DD only wakes once a night! Long may it continue. So if you felt you failed to feed last time like I did then please do not despair as with a little preparation you'll succedd next time!

[ionesmum]

Nice one, Freddiecat!