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Infant feeding

Not being controversial honestly but I'm interested.....

266 replies

Manictigger · 04/04/2007 13:29

...in the different reasons why people use formula whether it's by choice or due to circumstances. I've been bf for 7 months now and I do it a) for peace of mind (there's a history of allergies on DH's side and I would feel so guilty if later down the line lo developed an allergy and I know that I chose not to do something that might have prevented it from happening) Also, lo was born underweight so I felt she needed all the help she could get in life (but those are reasons personal to me). Anyway, b) I'm a lazy cow and would find all that bottle malarkay a faff (even at my lowest, most exhausted point with thrush the idea of dragging my carcass downstairs to make up a bottle sounded like an even worse horrendous nightmare) In fact in a way, I think bottle feeders should be given credit for putting in the effort which a lazy cow like me is unwilling to do.

So like I say, I'm interested in whether people always intended to use formula or whether they had to because bfing went wrong (and whether those people felt they were given the support they needed)and whether formula feeders (whatever their circumstances) think it's right that bf is actively promoted in the NHS. FWIW, I think it's right that bf is promoted by the NHS because according to one survey, a sizeable number of women believe that formula is just as good as bm which as mature MNers we know it isn't but equally I think the NHS is wrong to push that message without also acknowledging that most women will initially have problems and without providing good support for such women.

Anyway, like I say, I'm genuinely interested in seeing the other side of the ff/bf debate because usually it all descends into a playground fight which helps no-one and creates more divisions and prejudice.

So PLAY NICELY

(actually feel a bit guilty because I'm off to plant potatoes now but I will return at some stage)

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deasterjags · 04/04/2007 13:33

Sorry Manictigger. This will degenerate into a bum fight (even if it does start well). No crystal ball needed to predict that

IMO there is no set answer to your question.

Individual circumstance is the key factor in whether or not a baby is breastfed or bottlefed.

I may be naive, but I don't think are many mothers out there who could or would dispute that breast is best.

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custy · 04/04/2007 13:33

pmsl @plant potatoes.

there were a few factors. i was v. young with no outside help and in the social circle i was in bottle feeding was the norm.

there wasn't the social education ad pressure that there is now for bresastfeeding.

i made my choice based on " lifes hard enough" barely getting through the day without thoughts of chucking myself off somethhing high - i think cracked nipples mastitis and other things would have been the cherry on the postnatal depression cake.

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custy · 04/04/2007 13:34

ah yes and after dejags post - i would just like to clarify - i am perfectly aware breast is best ...for the baby.

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LucyJones · 04/04/2007 13:36

First time round I b/f for 6 weeks and gave up because a cracked nipple wouldn't heal despite everyone telling me the lacth was prefect.
2nd time round I b/f for 8 weeks but remembered the freedom of bottle feeding from the first time round so I gave up. I go along with the often said 'happy mum, happy baby' and i truly was happier bottle feeding, despite the pangs of guilt.

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littleEasterlapin · 04/04/2007 13:36

Everyone I know who used formula did so because they physically couldn't breastfeed. I do know one woman who switched to formula because she went back to work, but she tried for several weeks to express enough and was pretty upset when she couldn't.

Surely the most important thing is that you do the best for your baby AND yourself. We don't need something else to beat ourselves up about!

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peanutbutter · 04/04/2007 13:36

a bum fight deeasterjags? now that should be something worth watching!

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littleEasterlapin · 04/04/2007 13:37
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Charleesunnysunsun · 04/04/2007 13:38

DS1 - I was so ill after the birth and on several tons of medication, i did not feel comfortable breastfeeding and by the time i did he was 4 weeks old and not willing to take the boob.

DS2 - I fed him as it was cheaper and DS1 is very ill and i felt guilty becuase i didn't breast feed him (stupid i know) also like you say i can't be arsed to get bottles ad make them up and what not!

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peanutbutter · 04/04/2007 13:38

boom boom!

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nopudstilleaster · 04/04/2007 13:40

This thread is definitely going to turn into a fight

I bottlefed ds because he refused to take the breast. I really really wanted to bf and was lucky in that my hospital had bf sessions which I went to every single one of them but at the end of the day, it was just too hard. I was getting depressed, wasn't enjoying being a mother and decided that for the sake of my health & my ds's that ff the way to go.

I know there are people out there who would say I gave up too easily and should have persisted but really, when you've got a 2 week old screaming hysterically every time you put him near a breast, you don't want to go the hard route! BUT I do think breast is best!

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sandcastles · 04/04/2007 13:41

Crap support at hospital meant I got no help breastfeeding. Dd wouldn't latch on & no one was available to help me. By the time I got home (was in for 5 days, whole time, no support just given a leaflet on breastfeeding, which post c-section under GA is the last thing you want to read) dd just wasn't getting anything from me. The mw tried to help us, but I think due to dd being so tiny, a premature baby (pre-eclampsia) & the fact that she was formula feed in hospital, it was just too much for her.

She was born at 4lb 4 and she dropped alot of weight which convinced her special care that she needed a build up formula.

Agree with deasterjags, this will degenerate.

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pinkchampagne · 04/04/2007 13:44

Similar reasons to custy. I had been brought up to believe that bottle feeding was the thing to do, as my mum has always been very pro bottle feeding, but that reason alone wasn't what really made me make the choice to ff.
I never felt comfortable with the thought of it - it just wasn't for me.
A lot of my friends breast fed & it worked out great for them. It just wasn't something I felt comfortable doing, so I chose to bottle feed my boys from the start.
They are both very healthy & very loved though!
I think it is down to the individual.

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purpleflower · 04/04/2007 13:44

I breastfed until LO was 3 months. I really didn't want to use formula at all, mainly because of all the hassle.

I ended up giving formula because LO was really not happy, I think that I had problems with my milk supply due to the stress of moving.

I didnt really have any support to try and sort my BFing out, people seemed pleased I had stopped because it meant that they could feed him too.

So my choice was to BF but ultimately I ended up FF against my choice due to a lack of support.

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deasterjags · 04/04/2007 13:47

I was in a restaurant last night - there was a lady with a 9 week old baby and is two grannies at the next table.

I was admiring the newborn when Granny No.1 launched into an attack on the mum about the fact that the baby would only breastfeed - she was quite out of control about the fact that she couldn't have the baby for any lenght of time because the baby was "addicted to the breast". Granny No.2 got involved, I excused myself.

Poor mum - my point is, is that you can never know what pressures a new mother is under.

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RustyBear · 04/04/2007 13:47

I have to admit that I'm probably one of the 'lazy cow' school - I couldn't face the thought of all that sterilizing.

So much so that when DS started dropping off the dreaded 'curve' & the HV suggested I should give him formula, I was too intimidated to say no I think bf is best - but I just went out & bought a box of ready made milk & gave it to him cold. Not surprisingly he hated it, so I was able to tell the HV he wouldn't take it.

By the time DD came along, I was much stronger as a mum & when she started dropping off the exact same curve at the exact same point I was able to stand up to her.

I know though that I am lucky not to have had more than the routine cracked nipples & only one bout of mastitis - if it had been as bad as some of the tales I've seen on MN I really don't know which way I'd have gone....

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LucyJu · 04/04/2007 13:49

Of those I know who didn't and have talked about why not... (not in any particular order)

Some "went through the motions" because they kind-of knew "breast is best" but were relieved when it didn't seem to work out beacuse, really, they never actually wanted to, but felt pressurised to try.

Some wanted to but didnd't manage to, mainly due to poor advice and support. Such as... "if you're worried about how much milk you are making, express some to find out how much you are producing". Mother duly expresses a pitiful amount of milk, conclude that there isn't enough and turn guilily and reluctantly to formula.

Similar to above reason is a misunderstanding of typical newborn behaviour.... frequent feeding, long feeds, night waking all seen as a sign that baby "isn't getting enough" rather than being accepted as normal behaviour.

Bad experiences first time round can put some women off ever trying again.

Some women find breastfeeding too tying and/or time-consuming and want to be able to feed relatively quickly and/or let soemone else play a role in feeding the baby.

Some women don't really think there is very much difference between bm and formula and
either don't bother bfing in the first place, or give up relatively quickly.

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Pamina · 04/04/2007 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Manictigger · 04/04/2007 13:53

Oh dear god please don't let it degenerate because I think it could be so useful for people on both 'sides' of the issue. I don't think anyone should feel guilty about doing what is best for their circumstances, we're all trying our hardest (or why would we be on a parenting site)

But am starting to regret starting this because so many people are sure it will end horribly and I naively hoped it might not.

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pinkchampagne · 04/04/2007 13:57

I know that breast is best, but it was something I just didn't feel comfortable doing & I didn't want to feel pressurised.
I had terrible ante natal & post natal depression with DS2 & the pressure to breast feed would have tipped me over the edge.
I wanted to claim my body back to myself after the birth & feeling I had to breast feed would have added to my depression.

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nogoes · 04/04/2007 14:07

I bf for 2 weeks then switched to formula. I had intended to bf for 6 months but had problems from the outset. I had a nightmare in hospital and looking back I am not surprised that it didn't work out. The night staff were so awful I have posted about them on here before. At one point I was so desperate to leave that I actually contemplated running out of the hospital with ds in my nightclothes.

I had support after I left the hospital but we could just not get ds to latch on. I had one very supportive health visitor who came and sat in my living room for 7 hours trying to get ds to latch on to no avail. I was then advised to try expressing but even with the electric pump I never managed to get any more than 5ml. My milk never came in so possibly this had a bearing on my failure. Once I switched to formula ds fed really well and was a changed baby, his jaundice went too and he started producing wet/soiled nappies, I was so relieved and don't regret switching at all.

Yes of course I believe that it is right to actively promote breastfeeding but I think it is more important to spend the money on providing support for mums who want to breastfeed. I know of very few people who did not give breastfeeding a go but I know of lots who tried and failed for various reasons. I actually believe that there should be a trained breastfeeding counsellor on duty in the maternity ward at all times but this is probably just wishful thinking.

I don't feel that there is enough research/support for formula fed babies. Tiktok made an interesting point on a thread the other day that the research regarding weaning at 6 months only applies to bf babies and that it may be beneficial if formula fed babies were weaned earlier but there is no research out there at all regarding formula feeding.

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nogoes · 04/04/2007 14:08

Oh I forgot to say Manictigger that I think you have started a very good thread and can't see why it should turn into a fight!

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ElenyaTuesday · 04/04/2007 14:09

I formula fed ds1 from birth because I didn't want to be the only person feeding him. He developed mild eczema and an allergy to cow's milk so I felt a bit guilty but he was fully recovered by the age of one - no eczema and no allergy either!!

So with ds2 I thought I'd better breast feed to avoid the same problems. Great choice that was - not! By 8 weeks he was covered in eczema from head to foot (ds1's eczema was nothing like that). I persisted with the breastfeeding until he was 18 weeks when I just had to accept that the poor little sod was being exposed to what I was eating - his skin was a disaster and he was fading away - just skin and bones - such a nightmare. Put him on special formula and never looked back. Unfortunately he's still allergic to cow's milk (despite never being given it directly) along with a host of other stuff.

So what works for one doesn't work for another. If I ever had another child he/she would go directly onto hypoallergenic formula (so says the doc!).

Of course breast is best most of the time - just not for all of us!

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deasterjags · 04/04/2007 14:11

You may well set the precedent Manictigger.

If it doesn't turn out badly - it will be the first time in the history of MN.



Sorry - I am not taking the piss. I agree it's a valid subject.

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vinhotinto · 04/04/2007 14:11

I had every intention of BF DD cos it was cheap and convenient, no messing with bottles etc. I had loads of support from midwife and when dd born had loads of help in hospital.

At first it was fine didn't mind frequent feeds as I enjoyed the feeling of having dd so close to me.

Then I got Thrush in the ducts, dd got thrush and we both had treatment then cracked nipples despite good latch (several people checked) then mastitis and the whole cycle repeated. I then went to mixed feeding which I managed til dd was eight weeks. At which point the 24hr pain was unbearable. If it was only pain when feeding I would have carried on.

I want to stress though that I think BF is best and I would encourage anyone to do it, if I have another I will certainly do it again. However I do not feel a failure for switching to formula and dd is still a happy bunny

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suejonez · 04/04/2007 14:21

DS was a 2lb premmie and formula fed from birth until he was switched to fermented cows yoghurt (the cultural norm where he was!) at about 6 months. He's 16 months now and just fine so I think in very many cases, with good nutrition over a whole childhood the nutritional disadvantage to formula milk can be minimised.

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