Can't feed DD2 12 weeks. Desperate, please help!!

[LittleMonkiesMum]

BF beeb struggle as let down far too enthusiastic for her, but we've been sort of managing. Tried loads of things, and nothing works, just helps a little. Nipple shields, expressing, lying down. She gets very upset, but not at every feed, and normally she manages to feed eventually. This last week it's getting really bad, and am wondering if she also has some reflux. If a baby does has reflux, wouldn;t it affect every feed? It tends to be the day time feeds which are a nightmare and not night time of evening. A nightmare feed is as follows: Baby hungry, cries for food, I try to feed her but she sucks once and pulls away as though frightened, and resumes crying/screaming. I give her time to calm down, and try again. This can go on for ages, but she nor mally eventually feeds OK, but today she's when she did feed after one of these episodes, she went through one let down, total feed about 3 minutes, then came off screaming for ages. I've tried a bottle (ebm at the moment, but have tried formula when desperate!) which she is fine with just before bed, but if she's stressed, her reaction to the bottle is the same as her reaction to bf. I am desperate to carry on bf her, but am really struggling to cope. Dd1 is only 17 months and I can;t dedicate as much time to this as I did first time round.
Worry is that she won;t take anything, breast or bottle. Her weight's been fine so far, but she can;t have been getting much these last few days.

[LittleMonkiesMum]

BEEN, not beeb!!

[hunkermunker]

When she latches on and feeds, what's your letdown like? Is it quite strong?

[LittleMonkiesMum]

letdown very strong, that's the problem. Sorry waffley post unclear! She splutters and really struggles, but then sometimes it's ok. OH giving her a bottle atm which is the first one she hasn't refused today.

[clairemow]

littlemonkiesmum, Tiktok has given lots of advice about over active let down in the past, and I don't know if she's around now.

Good luck, it is so distressing, I think you've managed to do really well so far...

DH wants the computer - I'll do a search for those threads in a moment and post some links....

[hunkermunker]

Try feeding one-sided for several feeds in a row.

Have to log off now, but def search for info re one-sided feeding. Sounds like you're producing more than she can handle! Which is good and totally manageable - honestly! (Happened to me with both boys)

[JodieG1]

My ds2 does this at some feeds. He is 11 weeks and I also have a very fast and strong let down. I do a couple of things; if I know he's very hungry I'll stand up and walk about whilst feeding until he latches on and calms down a bit, then I can usually sit back down. Not easy but works for us! Sometimes I'll just wind him move about a bit and change what we're doing, basically distract him so he calms down, changing his nappy works well but anything that works is good. After that he can either feed straight away or waits a while longer before a feed. What I've also found is that he does this when he's tired and just wants to sleep so that's why he's pulling away because he's not actually hungry but trying to suck to sleep and obviously when the let down starts he doesn't like it; I just try and help him off to sleep if it's that.

[JodieG1]

Also agree with hunker. I don't usually feed off the same side if he takes a full feed but I do if I feel he's not had as much as normal and wants more shortly afterwards again.

[LittleMonkiesMum]

Will try the one sided, but am sort of doing that some times as she has a favourite side anyway. The letdown is very fast, but tbh I don't actually think I have tons of milk. Especially as think supply has started to suffer due to eratic feeding.

[JodieG1]

Another thing you can try is when the let down starts just let your milk spray into a nuslin cloth or similar and then latch her back on after a few seconds, I've done this and it helps usually press and hold against the nipple.

[clairemow]

try these threads:

here
and here

Basically, I cut and paste Tiktok's words, so I don't get it wrong....!

"basically, one-sided feeding means only ever offering the same breast for 4,5 or 6 hours on the trot, so every time you feed in that time you use that breast only. Then you swap and do the same with the other breast. You may need to gently hand express to comfort levels only on that unused breast. Baby gets the amount of milk he needs, but it will be proportionately creamier, and with proportionately less lactose, and let down will be far less 'firey' for him. After two days or so you will produce rather less milk, but it will still easily be what he needs."

Give it a go, and see if it helps. And DON'T worry about not producing enough milk. You will be. It's all about supply and demand.

[MissGolightly]

I had (in fact still have) very enthusiastic letdown too. I agree about one sided feeding and taking the baby off for the worst of it and just letting the excess spray into a tissue. Also I found not leaving it too long between feeds helped - if my boobs were really full the spray was worse, and DS was too desperate to wait while the flow abated iyswim. He used to get hysterical, trying to feed off this gushing boob and then being furious when it was too fast. If he wasn't too hungry then we were both calmer about it.

It should improve as the baby gets bigger and more able to cope.

[LittleMonkiesMum]

Thanks all, feel like really want to stick it out. Off to stay with parents for the week, so may get a little more time to deal with this. Will look at all the threads recommended. Thanks
x

[hunkermunker]

You say yourself her weight gain's OK, so you do have enough milk.

Good luck with it - keep posting.

[Pannacotta]

Might be worth expressing for just for a couple of minutes before you start the feed.
I had similar probs with my DS when he was small and found this helped us.

[MissGolightly]

Forgot to say, can you get to a breast-feeding drop in? They might be able to advise about different positions and reassure you a bit.

[LittleMissLate]

I had a similar problem and was advised to express up to 1oz before feeding so the flow calmed down a bit. Breastfeeding drop-in definitely worth going to - I found it very reassuring. Would be interested to hear how you get on as we still have some problems and suspect mild silent reflux.

[millysimmons]

Had similar too, echoing using getting rid of some at beginning, I didnt have pump so used to hand express over the sink, felt so wasteful watching it flow away but our local hospital dont do a milk bank. Would also take DS off & soak up some on muslin square. Good news is its better now & settled itself.

[LittleMonkiesMum]

Hi, Thanks all, I haven't had DD weighed in a cople of weeks, but have a feeling that she may have dropped a few centiles. She's stuck to just below 50th until about 10 weeks.
I had a read through all the other threads, thanks Clairemow, some of the posts could so easily be me!!
The last day or so has been a bit better, but I am worried about my supply. Today I wouldn't even have needed breast pads, and there have been far fewer letdowns. I have been doing the one sided feeding, and it does help as in we've only had one dreadful feed today, but I have to start nearly all feeds off on right hand side anyway and if necesary sneak her over to the left.
I suppose I need to be trying to increase my supply as well. Grrrr, never easy!!
I had this same problem with DD1 but didn;t realise what it was until now. I gave up bf her at 16 weeks, as it had got horrendous and I just didn't know what to do. At the end my supply had dropped such a lot, and she wasn't gaining weight well at all.
Ideas for how to keep supply up then???
Thanks for replies, very reassuring that others have been through it, and nice to know there are some s*it hot experts on hand too. Thank you xxx

[LittleMissLate]

Milly - how old was your ds when things improved? Dd now 4 mths and seems to be getting worse... Like LMM it is worse in the day and not so bad at night - this afternoon I gave her a feed like a dreamfeed by picking her up towards the end of a nap and feeding in her sleep - had a nice calm feed but feeding again just now (awake) it has all gone wrong again.

[MissGolightly]

Poor you - if I were you I would go to a breast-feeding drop-in and get someone to observe a feed - they might be able to help pin-point what the issue is. Perhaps it's something completely different - especially as you say her reaction to the bottle is also stressed.

[LittleMissLate]

Have had some success with "daytime dreamfeeds" today - going in towards the end of a nap and putting dd straight to the breast. She was calm and fed for 15-20 mins (unlike the feed first thing this morning when she was bobbing on and off the breast with screams in between.

[LittleMonkiesMum]

Hi All, Just an upate. I've tried feeding her when she's sleepy in the day and it's worked much better. Also tried some infacol yesterday for the first time, and she seemed to be a bit better re the crying after a feed. Also, she seems to be coping a bit better with the let down!!! Things ar much better at the moment, and \seem to be getting lots of big fat nappies too, which is reassuring.
Think all these things have been helped by the fact that things are much calmer as we are staying with my parents for a week, and DD1 just worships my Mum, which has freed me up to dedicate lots of time to feeding DD2.
No idea how on earth I'm going to manage if things really haven' improved when back to reality in two weeks time when OH is back at work, and it's just me and the girls.