Breastfeeding veteran? Please help!!(12 Posts)
It's 4.45am, I've been up with the 6 month old since 3am. Please help, my determination to breastfeed is a wavering.
We've been ebf since birth and generally happy with this decision, however sleep deprivation is slowly starting to kill me... she nurses to sleep for all naps/ bedtime. Bedtime being the worse as she is feeding on and off for 2 hours 6-8ish before I can get her down in her cot and has done since birth. Is 'cluster' feeding still meant to be going on now or is it indicative of a lower supply in the evening? Would it help to express and offer a bottle here? I wish we could feed and put back down but she will roll straight over and squeal (normally some very high pitched, whale/dolphin summoning happy noise) which would wake my 5 year old and the neighbours if we left her to do it. I know this is jumbled but I'm knackered and really losing the will for everything with the lack of sleep. We're still feeding every 3 hours, (sometimes less) during the night and will only settle to sleep with booby. I'm starting to get desperate and think about exclusively pumping and weaning from breast completely but I know directly bf'ing is more convenient.
If you are a bf veteran please offer some words of wisdom, advice or just tell me what to bloody do as i'm struggling.
Or if you are stuck like us, please say hello and let me know I am not alone!!
You're not alone.
DS1 BF until he was 2.6 and the final feed to go was the 'before bed' one. He is 4 this week and still doesn't sleep through/gets into my bed.
DS2 5mo looks to be less keen on BF and has fallen asleep a few times without it, but is on it a lot at night due to teething. We co-sleep.
I haven't really got any advice; my experience is that (my) babies don't 'self-settle' and do need BF to sleep. Although 2 hours in the evening sounds like a long time - growth spurt? When is your baby's last nap? Do you take her into bed with you?
Hello. Not alone!! My second lo is 5m and is up a toddler least four times a night to feed. Usually every 3 hours but in between he wakes every sleep cycle. I'm praying it's still the four month regression and will pass soon. I've. Erm tempted by formula that we had to buy as back up when I was ill. Not used it yet but I'm getting close. Only haven't as I don't want the slippery slope!!
I hope you get some rest soon. No advice really but with my eldest his nuggg feeds slowed at about six months as he started eating a lot and hubby could settle him without milk. If he sees me he wants boobs (baby, not DH )
Good luck. X
Thank you both. Still up!
Yoko- her last nap is normally 4.30-5.30 she's then ratty at 6.30 so we get ready for bed and she comes on and off the boob for 2 hours. So I take her and 5 year old upstairs and stay upstairs from 6pm. She's still in our room with cot next to me, we tried co sleeping but I can't sleep well and she can crawl/roll so I worry about her getting trapped in our duvet.
How often do your babies feed at night? Do you nurse them to sleep or have you got them sleeping alone?
Little- I know what you mean about formula. In my darkest hours fantasies of formula and sleep come out to play!! The sleep regression killed us... before she slept 9-3/4. Seems like a distant memory!!
You need a book called the no cry sleep solution. I started using some of the tips in it around that age (in fact the best one is so weirdly named you can probably Google it and find a description. The 'Pantley pull off' - the author's name, nothing to do with pants!) I found the book helpful later on too.
Cluster feeding is def normal in the evening and I didn't start an 8pm bedtime until a few months later when DS started crawling but this might help with the broken nights.
Please don't beat yourself up if you want to try expressing or formula. You've done a fantastic job so far!
Maybe your baby needs something a bit extra in the bedtime feed like 'hungry baby formula'. it might help keep them fuller for longer.
Whatever you decide, good luck! I hope you get some better nights soon
MamaLyon you are not alone, also stuck here with 9mo DC2 who co-sleeps and shows no signs of stopping. Night wakings have improved since weaning started though. Just googled "Pantley Pull Off" (thanks BertieBotts!) and going to try that myself!
DC1 breastfed for just over a year. Due to colic from 2mo, we used to have white noise playing. this was handy actually as sometimes the white noise in itself was enough to settle to sleep without breastfeeding. Half tempted to start using white noise with DC2 too.
Good luck OP!
My own 8mo was very much like this until he was approx 6mo.
Things that worked for us are
Putting him to sleep in his front - he never rolled himself over, but will now sleep much more peacefully on his front or side. Leads me to believe he must have had a bit of reflux.
After bedtime we doubt feed him until after midnight. If he wakes we comfort him, obviously, but no milk. This was effective almost immediately.
His after midnight feed is a bottle of formula now. It knocks him out enough to put him back in his cot, and means DH can share the load.
He's still an inconsistent sleeper but I am much less sleep deprived and depressed in the last 8 weeks. At some point in the future, possibly in the new year I shall night wean.
My 5 month old is often the same in the evenings. What I've discovered is she likes a late catnap -around 6.30 and to go to bed later, usually around 9. Not ideal but it won't be forever and at least she's not fussing all evening.
She'Ll very occasionally drift off on her own but that's definitely the exception!
Although the irony is that we co slept last night...he seems to take the wonder weeks very seriously!
You poor thing. I remember these days with my dd2 like it was yesterday. I never thought it would end but it does! I bed shared with mine but I can totally see why people can't, and you have to do what's easiest for you so you can function. I'd try an earlier nap in day as that may help. Also I'll second the no cry sleep solution as have read it and liked it. Didn't need to use it though as dd slowly improved with age but I liked the authors tone and ideas. Sleep when your dd sleeps during day, you need it!
Yes we've also stated putting him
On his belly which for a week gave us full nights of sleep then now he's up every time he wakes and cries. The second you pick him up he's asleep but won't go down on his back!
Woll have to look at the pantly pull off!
We use a white noise machine just to drown out the toddler and dog but it doesn't settle him alone. Hope you find a solution!! We tried cosleepibg bedsharing but not enough space and he just fidgeted all night and I was worried about the duvet too.
I do remember that e did all of this with my first and went through these moments of "what are we going to do we have to stop this?" And just as we felt broken he would give us a few night/! When second was born we both agreed that we were pleased we continued with it because we had snuggles and comforted him and he now sleeps fabulously on his own and doesn't need cuddles So said we would ride it out, though it's tough at the time!!
I shall be here tonight I'm sure if you need some company 😊 Xx
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