4 day old DS and struggling feeding

(61 Posts)
Aliveinwanderland Sun 30-Oct-16 03:16:18

DS is 4 days old (well 5 I guess now as it's after midnight). We are breastfeeding but I'm struggling now and don't know what to do.

We saw a feeding counsellor at day 2 who said his latch was good and gave some general advice about holds. She is coming back next week on what will be day 8.

During the day DS will feed every 2 hours and will fall asleep on the breast. Once asleep he is able to be passed to other people for cuddles but difficult to put down anywhere. Feeding is uncomfortable but not overly painful for me.

However at night it's a totally different story. He wants to feed constantly. He would literally spend the whole night sucking on me and I'm so sore. He will fall asleep feeding like in the day but cannot be moved or passed to anyone else or he will stir and demand feeding again. Feeding him is incredibly painful and I can't sleep at all over night because of being unable to put him down.

He hasn't poo'd in 24 hours so need to ring the midwife in the morning for some advice. I feel like I'm failing him. I really want to be able to breastfeed him but I just can't stand the pain at night time with it.

outputgap Sun 30-Oct-16 03:28:24

Yes, you need to ring about the no poo thing. I haven't got my sheet with the guidance, but you're completely right to check that tomorrow.

Has your milk come in? It's usually very obvious when it does- boobs like watermelons for 36 hours!

With dc1 my milk didn't come in until day 5. And with dc3, he fed non stop for those first free days until my milk came in. So, iv would guess that relief will shortly be at hand as he will ease up a bit once your milk comes in and his tummy is full.

Day 5 is usually peak baby blues too. I ended sobbing my heart out to a La Leche advisor! So don't chuck breastfeeding today. It will all seem better in a few days.

outputgap Sun 30-Oct-16 03:30:54

Should also have said that I cup fed dc1 formula at about this stage because she was so obviously hungry and my milk had not come in.

outputgap Sun 30-Oct-16 03:31:54

Free=few

freewheezy Sun 30-Oct-16 04:04:30

Sorry you're feeling this way. You're absolutely not failing smile you're doing a great job. Definitely call the midwife first thing. They may ask you to go in so be prepared for that. While you're there explain what you've said here and see if they have any suggestions. Also you might want to get a second opinion on your latch. Falling asleep on the breast can sometimes be a sign that they're not efficiently feeding.
Has your milk come in yet? That could definitely be another reason as already suggested smile
I expressed for 6 weeks because I couldn't get dd to latch and we're still bfing 4.5 months on so don't worry about getting it down to an art in these first few days. Just keep stimulating to build your supply, whether that's feeding or expressing (every 2 hours sounds good) and keep practicing. If the pain gets very bad you could try nipple shields. These are what I used to get dd to latch. I used the medela ones for 3 weeks and then weaned her off).
The first few weeks really are relentless, sleep as much as you can to get you through the nights. Cancel visitors if you need to (but gratefully accept those with food/who want to clean/help in any way!) talk to your dp/family/close friends about how you're feeling. I kept everything inside and tried to hide my stress and worry when really I just needed a big cry and cuddle smile
I hope everything settles down soon for you. Bfing is a hard journey but definitely worth it, but don't put too much pressure on yourself.
Good luck x

freewheezy Sun 30-Oct-16 04:05:05

Sorry you're feeling this way. You're absolutely not failing smile you're doing a great job. Definitely call the midwife first thing. They may ask you to go in so be prepared for that. While you're there explain what you've said here and see if they have any suggestions. Also you might want to get a second opinion on your latch. Falling asleep on the breast can sometimes be a sign that they're not efficiently feeding.
Has your milk come in yet? That could definitely be another reason as already suggested smile
I expressed for 6 weeks because I couldn't get dd to latch and we're still bfing 4.5 months on so don't worry about getting it down to an art in these first few days. Just keep stimulating to build your supply, whether that's feeding or expressing (every 2 hours sounds good) and keep practicing. If the pain gets very bad you could try nipple shields. These are what I used to get dd to latch. I used the medela ones for 3 weeks and then weaned her off).
The first few weeks really are relentless, sleep as much as you can to get you through the nights. Cancel visitors if you need to (but gratefully accept those with food/who want to clean/help in any way!) talk to your dp/family/close friends about how you're feeling. I kept everything inside and tried to hide my stress and worry when really I just needed a big cry and cuddle smile
I hope everything settles down soon for you. Bfing is a hard journey but definitely worth it, but don't put too much pressure on yourself.
Good luck x

freewheezy Sun 30-Oct-16 04:06:22

(Sorry for the double post)

GreenSpaghetti Sun 30-Oct-16 05:03:47

I think it sounds like you're doing great too.
My ds is 6 days today and didn't poo on day 4. Midwife wasn't overly concerned, just so long as he pooed the next day, which he did. So try not to worry too much.
DS is also not too keen on being put down after feeds at night, a dummy has helped if you'd consider trying that? Have been managing to get him to sleep next to me with it in.
I know it doesn't really help but it might just be that your boobs are just toughening up still, not surprising either given the 24hour regular feeding.
Good luck, and as pp said, don't be afraid to cry. It helps!

tootiredtothinkofaclevername Sun 30-Oct-16 05:15:10

Have you tried nipple shields and cream? Sounds like your milk isn't in yet. They have that one fairly desperate feeding day just before it does. I find putting DD back on the same boob rather than switching so much helps give one nipple a decent rest. Also check for oral thrush/tongue tie.

Aliveinwanderland Sun 30-Oct-16 07:23:50

We managed to settle him with a dummy at times.

I've tried nipple shields but don't find them any more comfortable really. Got plenty of cream but don't think that is helping really either.

I will give the midwife a ring this morning as we still have no poo. He was sent to hospital Friday for jaundice but was fine when they checked him over. Really hope they don't make us go back in for this. I feel like I'm failing him. He is this perfect little bundle and yet day 1 did wee so midwife was worried. Then day 3 was hospital for jaundice and now this.

Aliveinwanderland Sun 30-Oct-16 07:24:24

Should read day 1 didn't wee.

We now have plenty of wet nappies but no poo.

Spottyladybird Sun 30-Oct-16 07:30:23

It's all new to both of you, you're not failing at all.
Is your milk in?
If you have a DP give them the job of looking after you, lots of water and snacks. Oats are good to help produce lots of milk, flapjack is your friend!
Make sure your iron levels are ok as this can impact milk production.
Are you swaddling at night? I found this helped with settling, when baby woke- unswaddle, change nappy, reswaddle, feed, hopefully put down!

Speak to your midwife about poo though and the BfN has a great helpline if you need to speak to someone trained.

lostindubai Sun 30-Oct-16 07:33:53

I don't think anyone had mentioned lansinoh nipple cream yet. Please invest in some it is amazing stuff and will make you feel much better.

AnnetteKertan Sun 30-Oct-16 07:39:22

Have you tried breastfeeding lying down in bed? (co-sleeping). My dd cluster fed a lot at night and this was the only way I could get some sleep because if I moved her she'd wake up and want feeding again.

Aliveinwanderland Sun 30-Oct-16 07:42:13

Milk is in but I'm not sure about how much there is and whether he is getting enough. I tried to express last night so ide got a bit to give him from a bottle if my nipples got too sore. I only managed to get 10ml off and he took that from a bottle in the night.

I've got Lansinoh but still finding it painful.

Aliveinwanderland Sun 30-Oct-16 07:43:17

Tried lying down in bed. He is then feeding face down across me and so ends up sleeping on his front. When I roll him to his back and put him next to me in the bed. he stirs and then wants to suckle again!

WalrusGumboot Sun 30-Oct-16 07:58:47

If you've already introduced a bottle and a dummy might there be a problem with nipple confusion? Maybe his latch isn't so great after all?

WalrusGumboot Sun 30-Oct-16 07:59:43

Not criticising btw. Just might be worth getting it looked at again.

Aliveinwanderland Sun 30-Oct-16 08:16:01

we have the feeding counsellor coming back on Wednesday but I will ring on Monday and see if anyone can come then.

I know I shouldn't have done dummy and bottles, but he didn't wee for first 36 hours so we had to give him some formula in a bottle on midwifes advice. I swore he would never have a dummy, but nothing else would settle him in the night when my nipples were sore painful I couldn't let him suckle.

I'm so upset as I really want to be able to feed him. Before he was born I wasn't precious about it and thought I could use formula if breast didn't work. Now he is here I have a huge instinct to be able to breastfeed him but I'm really struggling with it.

milkshakeandmonstermunch Sun 30-Oct-16 08:26:49

It all sounds pretty normal. I've got two DD. First was bf til 2yo and DD2 is just 11 days old at the moment so you are me last week! It it really tough but that's normal (unfortunately).

Milk came in day 4/5. The engorgement is painful and uncomfortable but will pass in a few days, trust me. Mine lasted day 4 until day 8. DD2 took a poo gap after passing all her black meconium before starting with the explosive yellow poo once my milk was properly established. This must have been around day 3/4. Call the mw though to reassure yourself.

DD2 feeds constantly at night and sleeps more in the day at the moment. Very frustrating with an older DC as they take it in turns to be awake. Your DC is working hard to establish your milk supply! It might feel as though they aren't getting enough but every small suckle is telling your body to make more and is so important.

Read this about cluster feeding and fussiness which may ramp up in the coming weeks:

kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/fussy-evening/

I get so annoyed at the sheer lack of information given to new mums. I had to find it all out myself last time after thinking I was failing when I wasn't.

freewheezy Sun 30-Oct-16 08:37:17

Definitely agree with milkshake re: cluster feeding. I still get upset sometimes when dd is feeding every 30 mins because I think 'god there can't be any milk what is she doing!' But you just have to follow their lead. It's very very rare that a mother will not produce enough milk and what you can express is no indication of how much you are producing.
Have you tried breast compressions? Sometimes when dd falls asleep on the breast I do a few squeezes near the base of the breast (away from the nipple) and it wakes her up to finish the feed. I think there are videos online on how to do them.
When she's asleep in the day and you're able to give her to someone else to hold GO TO SLEEP. It feels wrong and selfish, I felt awful leaving visitors and dp but you need to energy to feed. Drink loads of water, eat lots of oats and sleep sleep sleep/ feed feed feed.

freewheezy Sun 30-Oct-16 08:39:51

Skin to skin also helps boost production so when you're feeding try with baby in nappy and you topless (with the heating on if you're cold) and a blanket over ds if he's chilly.

Aliveinwanderland Sun 30-Oct-16 09:33:57

Thank you, that's really helpful. Rang midwife who said it can be normal for no poo and to give him some tummy rubs, cycle his legs and try a bath. I have to ring back at 2pm if he still hasn't gone.

This will sound daft but when he shuts his eyes after first 5 mins of feeding is he asleep or does he just have his eyes closed? He will continue feeding for around 20 mins with closed eyes but I think he I awake. After that he can be gently suckling but his arm goes limp- am I right that he has then gone to sleep and I can let him unlatch? Sorry if that sounds daft! They really should teach new mums more on this stuff!

Cakescakescakes Sun 30-Oct-16 09:37:46

Make sure you are drinking loads of water. A big glass each time you feed as being dehydrated can really affect your supply.

lostindubai Sun 30-Oct-16 09:43:30

I would let him carry on. Even if he's not actually feeding, the suckling motion will stimulate your supply. Obviously if you need to get up for something then yes gently unlatching him won't hurt.

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