Feel like a failure

(6 Posts)
frikadela01 Wed 06-Jul-16 08:20:29

Baby is a week old and breastfeeding is the one thing I was determined to do.

Last night I ended up in a%e in absolute agony and could feed Ds so dp went out to get some of the ready made formula just for the evening. Ds took to it amazingly and now this morning refuses to latch on and was screaming the house down until I gave him a bottle.

Now sat here crying that I've ruined everything and Ds will have to be bottle fed.

Not after advice really, I'll keep trying him on the breast, although I was already struggling a bit. Just having a moan that being a mum is bloody hard.

Coconut0il Wed 06-Jul-16 11:43:27

flowersand chocolate for you OP. You are not a failure at all. Your baby is fed and that's what matters. The early weeks are so tough and I don't think anyone is fully prepared for how hard it is and how emotional you will feel.
I know you didn't ask for advice but I would do as you plan, stay in, lots of skin to skin and keep offering the breast. You haven't ruined anything. Put your feet up and relax and snuggle with your lovely newborn baby. Don't worry about anything else.

ParsnipSoup Wed 06-Jul-16 11:55:08

You haven't failed. You're trying really hard and you'll both get there. Would you be able to get a lactation consultant to come and see you at home? Things shouldn't be sore so you need someone who knows what they're talking about to look at baby's latch and check for a tongue tie. I was told by so many people that DS's latch was fine in the first week but he had an awful tongue tie and as soon as it was cut feeding was more comfortable.

Meanwhile have lots of skin to skin and try to enjoy having your baby. I found a bit of expressing with a breast pump helped me to keep my supply but gave my poor nipples a rest. Maybe that's an option?

Orsono Wed 06-Jul-16 12:28:17

Here's some great info on nursing strikes, in case you don't know the Kellymom site -

kellymom.com/ages/newborn/nb-challenges/back-to-breast/

Toofondofcake Wed 06-Jul-16 12:32:38

You aren't a failure! flowers

Breastfeeding is hard for mums all over the world and pretty much every mam who has tried breastfeeding has encountered issues. Even if he never latches again you aren't a failure.

Just keep trying him at the breast all day. Get tonnes of skin to skin together and express to keep yourself comfortable and your supply steady.

What a great mammy you are to be trying so hard for your little one.

frikadela01 Wed 06-Jul-16 12:42:08

Thankyou everyone. Was just having a bad day I think. We're currently lying in bed doing lots of skin to skin and he's just had some expressed milk from a bottle. Dp has been brilliant and supportive. The antibiotics I've been put on can make my milk bitter so I have formula ready but I'm determined to make this work. I'll check out that link too. Thankyou flowers

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