Hormonal whinge/breast feeding advice/kick up arse needed

[GenevaJoey]

Hello, just after some advice/light at end of tunnel/kick up arse.

.MMyaby is nearly 3 weeks now and is not gaining much weight. She seems ok apart from that: lots of wet/pooey nappies, is alert and seems to be latching ok . But she was weighed on Friday and had only put 40g on in last 6 days so midwife suggested I pump to simulate supply and feed her anything I get. So I started today, but am so fed up. Baby already feeds almost non stop from about 2pm to midnight. Has a 2-3 hour feed in middle of night and a decent feed in the morning and now I have to express in between too. Not sure when I'm supposed to give her the expressed milk either, as midwife said at the end of feeds, but feeds dont seem to end... desperate to go out and get exercise or escape house or just take her out in sling or pram but worried Iam going to miss signs or a feed as she will sleep in sling and so feel I shouldn't. DH is supportive but getting fed up with my cryjng and selfish moaning. Really missed out on the selfless , nurturing characteristics when I gave birth.

We live in France and so no relatives in the country and friends haven't been to see me or baby so feeling v isolated.

Sorry for whinge. Really not enjoying breastfeeding or dare I say it, motherhood v much. Can't send her back though!

Any thoughts? Seeing paediatrician on Monday so will see if he has any suggestions. Is this scenario normal? How long does the cknstant feeding last for? when were you able to get out more? Someon suggested tongue tie on another thread, does this sound possible? Is this the problem /solution, or is there no problem, just normal newborn behaviour? I just don't know what to think!

Thanks for letting me whinge!

[Coconut0il]

Aww OP the endless newborn feeding feels like it will never end but honestly it does get easier. I haven't got any experience of tongue tie but DS2 was pretty much attached to me for the first few months. He's my last baby so I just got comfy and went with it. I didn't do much but feed, feed, feed. I mix fed DS1 as I felt a bit trapped by BF.
I would get her checked for tongue tie if she isn't gaining weight. I'm not sure about the expressing advice. No way would I have had time to do that, DS2 was never off the boob. If you are managing it I would let your DH give that so you can get a break. And don't worry if you're not enjoying it, many people feel like this. This phase will pass. DS2 is 10 months now, a real character and the cluster feeding is a distant memory. He goes 4 hours between feeds now.

[DontBuyANewMumCashmere]

The first weeks are a bit shit.

Yes yes to popping her in a sling! If it means she sleeps for a little bit and you get to have a little walk then this will make you feel more human (I found) and a break from the relentless feeding!
I had a soft Moby wrap to start out with then used a baby bjorn when she was about 3m I think. I even managed to feed DD while in the sling; if you can slowly learn to do this it's great to do as you have two hands and can move around or do something while she's feeding. I used to cook dinner while she was feeding.

If she will go into sling or pram and not shout at you then do it! I'd say don't worry about missing a feed: she will let you know the freaking second that she wants a feed. Perhaps take a drink, book and muslin with you so you can stop mid walk if she wants more?

We did cluster feeding from about 7-11 on some days so I feel your pain, but from 2pm sounds very long.
Do you think she could be sleeping for a lot of this? I very early gave my DD a dummy as was a very sucky baby. I fed her often but if I'd just fed her and she was falling asleep I'd pop the dummy in quickly and she'd go off to sleep without needing to suckle me. She is now 18mo and BF fine til 17mo and only takes dummy for nap and night time so it hasn't messed around with anything.

My DD had tongue tie but it wasn't diagnosed until 6 weeks. It fucking hurt. But I was desperate to soldier on, instead of seeking help. She had it snipped and that very same day it stopped hurting as much, within a week it was entirely painless.

Generally I'd say this sounds very normal, the cluster feeding was over by about 8w I think, whilst it's a pain now in the short term I think BFing was amazing, and everytime she was poorly or teething I could soothe her in the middle of the night. What an amazing tool. Worth the work at the beginning, imo.

Keep going OP, sounds like you're doing an awesome job and your DP might not understand but just keep talking and he well get it, hopefully. I used to cry everyday for ages but was genuinely very happy, I often cried for no reason and would be sobbing but couldn't tell DH what I was crying about. I definitely sobbed "I just love her so much" about a hundred times!

It gets easier.

[DontBuyANewMumCashmere]

PS are you eating enough? I used to forget to eat and be starving and hangry.
Have lots of snacks and grabby foods nearby you at all times. Enjoy eating what you want now, without having to share with her!

[babypeach]

Hi Geneva
Firstly you're doing great! Hang on in there. Breastfeeding is hard work especially in the very early days. All the feeding baby is doing should be helping to up your supply as should the expressing. It is so hard to do though I know I've had to do it with both of mine. I could never get much out either which was annoying! I did manage to go on to ebf my second though despite th expressing never really working!

It sounds a lot like normal newborn feeding behaviour and its very positive that your latch feels comfy and baby has lots of wet/dirty nappies.
The weight gain does sound low but it is still a gain at least. Was the weight done on the same scales/same conditions etc as the previous weight?
Can you call la leche league international? They are experts and can give you excellent advice.
Have you had a look at Kellymom.com also? Lots of excellent practical advice.

Xx