3 month old not interested in feeding - help please....(38 Posts)
My 3 month old is bottle fed and for the past month has been a nightmare to feed. He is just not interested and it takes between 40 mins to an hour to do one feed
Have spoken to HV and GP but as he is gaining weight they have just said to carry on...I am at the end of my tether as I also have an almost 3 year old running around. It has got to the stage where I have to be at home for feeds which means restricted time out of the house!
I have tried demand feeding (he will only take 60 mls every 4 hours) and so I end up sitting for hours encouraging him to feed leading to tired mum, tired baby and bored toddler.
I bf my first one so not sure what I should be doing with this one feedwise...all the people I know that have bottle fed have not had this problem.
Any help gratefully received!
I b/fed DD so not much help but hopefully someone will come along to help!
DD did go of boob for a week or so around 4 mths - turns out she was teething so was 'off' her food. Might be similar but hope someone is along soon
This might be a silly suggestion, but is the flow rate of his bottle teat right?
Mumatuks - have played around with the teats to no avail!
CC21 - thanks for the support.
Any other suggestions as I am slowly going mad....
Sorry if stating the obvious i also BF no 1 and am mix feeding dd. Teats wear out after 3-4 weeks and need replacing dd was unable to get anything out but did n't cry. Apparently some babies are "too polite" to complain if they can't get milk out of a bottle.Hope it improves soon i also have rampant toddler [wink}
Mine didn't have bottles at that age, so can't help much, but mine also never took as much as the pack said they should have ... I'm afraid I just assumed they'd had enought when they stopped (lazy mummy!!) I messed up with teats a few times too, but it sounds like you've tried that one - sorry not much help, but bumping for someone who may know more...
My DS went through "a phase" of just being completely uninterested in his bottles at abour four months. My helpful MIL said it was because he was upset that I had stopped breastfeeding... Grrrr. I used to cry when he had 1 or 2 oz and say he was done. I am afraid to say I sat there and literally forced the bottle into his mouth as sometimes when I did this he would then latch on again and drink another 4 or 5 oz. He would scream and cry and thrash at the bottle, then suddenly go for it and drink. Because he had done this I often would keep trying and trying for ages. I didn't have a toddler as well but found every feed extremely stressful and shed a lot of tears. Looking back now I think "why didn't I just relax" but it is impossible, and I always worried that if he didn't have enough milk he wouldn't sleep at night, which was my biggest worry. Sorry, not much help but he did get back onto feeding happily again after a few weeks.
We still use No 2 teats at age 11 months, and have not changed them since he was 3 months - . They seem to work ok!
Any progress, Hangster? How did your lo feed today?
I know exactly how you feel Hangster... I think I am going crazy!
My 4 month old is exactly the same. It all started from birth - she used to take an hour to drink her bottle and although the feeds are a little shorter now it has drained me (faster than the bottles).
I have tried every bottle and every teat and ended up with the cheapest bottles/teats and ended up widening the vari-flow hole out of desperation - which I have to say has helped slightly. She just seems to have a very weak suck (unless it is her dummy).
I dont know if she doesnt like milk or if it is a medical problem but just as you have I have spoken to the HV and GP on numerous occasions but because she has stuck to her line on the weight chart they are not worried... but I am!
It just doesnt seem normal for a baby not to want to feed.
I was advised by the HV to let her go and she would let me know when she was hungry but 6 or 7 hours would pass so I prefer my instinct.
She also goes 3 -4 days between bowel movements and is generally a sleepy baby.
The HV has advised to start her on baby rice once a day and I've been giving her that for about a week and she's taking it but it's a trial!
Anyway just so you know you are not the only one tearing their hair out.
Sorry been offline - ds2 (problem feeder) has now got an ear infection so is on antibiotics which isn't helping the feeding situation.
Choosyroo - feeding was ok - we had it down to 35 mins till ear infection on Saturday now we are back up to taking 50 mins to 1 hour!
Gina1981 - what a relief to know that I'm not the only one (obviously sympathise with you). It sounds like we should swap more notes! Has the baby rice helped at all?
Fingers crossed that ds2 gets over the ear infection soon - not sure that ds1 can cope with mummy taking forever to give ds2 his milk! Any suggestions on entertainment for a toddler (I am getting v bored with our current set of dvds)!
Oh no, hangster - that doesn't seem very fair! ear infections ae horrid - ds had one when he was a year r so & it made him miserable - really high temp too! Is there any chance (maybe hopeful) this could have affected his feeding (I guess it might have hurt his ears to suck??
Hi Choosyroo, ds2 seems a bit better with the help of amoxicillin. Not sure whether it could have affected his sucking as the feeding issue has been around longer than the ear infection (but let's give him the benefit of the doubt). Had a bad feed day yesterday but today has been better with him taking 40 mins . Got my fingers crossed for a good day tomorrow but will have to wait and see.
I also have another question - why is ds2 never interested in his 7am feed when he has a feed at 10:30pm and sleeps through? It is more of a struggle than any of the other feeds during the day - I would have thought he would be starving having not eaten for over 8 hours? All theories welcome as dh and I are just confused! And yes I know how lucky we are that he is sleeping though already...
When I read what you are writing it is as if you are writing about my dd from when she was born right up until now... 4 1/2 months...
So many questions and no answers drives you mad doesnt it... thinking your baby is the only baby ever to be like this.... getting puzzled looks from the GP and HV's!
I just feel like I cannot go out of the house because when I was feeding dd in public I felt I was getting so many stares from other mothers that it just became too much to face.
Feel free to email me directly if you want... firstname.lastname@example.org and we can go nuts together or more to the point hopefully stop each other going nuts together!
Also perhaps we can give each other a bit of advice of things you have found help and maybe I can do the same.
It's been a while since I have managed to log on. Gina - thanks for your post.
I'm afraid to say that things went from bad to worse for us. DD2 was in A & E twice last week and was admitted to hospital on Thursday for 48 hours due to refusing to feed! He is home now but the issue really hasn't been resolved. They are treating reflux but I'm not convinced that is the underlying problem (he's on both ranitidine and gaviscon). If that doesn't work then they will trying changing to a different milk where the proteins are more broken down. I feel like I'm going mad...dh and i really want either a scan or x-ray done to determine that there is nothing wrong internally (so far he has only been examined externally).
Since he has been discharged he has managed less than the minimum amount the registrar recommended but we have to wait for this to happen for 3 days in a row before we go back to hospital.. We do have an appointment as follow up with a consultant on Thursday but even that seems such a long time away..
Have been back to our GP to get a referral for a private appointment but he won't do it at the moment as we are being seen by the local hospital!
In the meantime I still have a 16 week old who is taking next to no milk....
Sorry for the rant but I really am beginning to feel like I'm going to have a break down, not sure how much more I can take....
Thanks for reading/listening. x
Hangster, this sounds very distressing.
This may be totally off the wall.....but would you consider trying to re-establish breastfeeding? There's no info on when you stopped bf, sorry, or why, so this is a suggestion that may be totally inappropriate.
So I am throwing it in, anyway
Oh my God thats awful! Is there any other signs of illnesses or is he just refusing his milk?
What exactly have you tried?
You see the problem we have now is that before every feed she cries and could last between 1 - 20 mins before she actually starts drinking it! Looks like she also has a weak suck! For the life of me i can't figure out why she cries and then drinks
I have tried so many things that i can't remember everything but i will list everything i can remember maybe there is something that might help.
Changing teats - tried wide neck and standard neck bottles. Tried latex and silicone teats. Tried round teats and flat teats. DD is happy with standard neck bottle with orthodotic teat from mothercare!
Temperature - Tired room temperture, luke warm, warm, hot. Find that she is much happier when it's between warm and hot probably likes it better when it's just hot.
Timing - Every 4 hours, leaving her till she cries for it, offering little and often. To be honest at the moment i really don't know what to say about this one as she never shows signs of hunger! She never goes for like she's hungry either.
Amount of feeds in a day - was told to stop waking her for that last feed at night and to let her sleep the full 12 hours! Thinking that she would be starving in the morning but noooooooooo she wasn't so i thought i'm not doing that again. So she is having 5 bottles a day. But struggling.
Enviroment - i found that feeding her in a quiet no stimulating room facing the window helps better! But saying that she can sometimes feed well when the tv is on! Trying to feed when out of at someone elses house but it's worst she feeds better at home!
Allowing someone else feed her - mum has tried husband has tried aunty has tried friends have tried and i'm the only one she will feed from!
Cup feeding - to be honest this was a waste of time for me and my dd - i even bought the famous doidy cup but she refuse to drink from that too!
Changing milk - went from sma gold to cow and gate premium and now on cow and gate comfort! i'm on the comfort because it was suggested it would help her digestion system as she was going 3-4 days without a bowel movement - well to be honest have not found it has helped! Been told to go back to premium!
There really is no reason why you can't change the milk yourself - if your ds has had no problems on the milk he is on at the moment e.g no vomiting, dihorrea, rashes you can try another milk - i know that sma gold has a very disgusting taste to it and alot of babies do not like it and when put on another milk they drink much better! Dd improved when i changed from sma to cow and gate!
Weaning - i was told to try weaning her early (4 months) but that hasn't gone down well at all - so i have stopped as i feel that i really wasn't getting anywhere with that and it was stressing us both out!
I went to the baby clinic yesterday to get dd weighed and she has lost weight! I broke down infron tof the HV as i am at my wits end and we went through everything again and advised not to offer milk 4 hourly and if she doesn't want it to back off and not force. Then leave her till she screams the house down for it! Well i tried that yesterady and this is what happpened.
8.30am - had 4 and half oz
12.15pm - had 7oz
1.30pm - took dd to clinic and was given advice!
4.45pm - offered milk but refused
5.50pm - screaming thinking wanting milk but only had 2 and half oz. Fell asleep!
8.15pm - Really wingy - offered milk refused point blank! Fell asleep
11.45pm - Woke her up for feed took 4oz
Feel asleep and sleep till 7.40am ( which i woke her up)
8am - dd drank a full 7oz bottle ( says with relief)
And now have decided to persist on what i was doing before and to ignore what HV said to me.
Many times we have thought to take her to A & E but knew nothing would be done about it. Have tried to get her to be refered but no luck on that either!
If ds had relux he would be progectile vomiting after every feed - is he doing that?
Is he losing weight?
i'm at my wit's end too i know it is so upsetting causing you too cry all day long!
I know there is something wrong but i just can't put my finger on it - i'm sure there is someone out there that can help!
Anyway i'm sure there is alot more things that i have tried if i remember i will post them but i hope that this helps and i really do feel for you. i know exactlty what your going through! Be strong if it's any consolation our dear little babies are strong and more than you think!
Hope to hear from you soon
Sorry for the lack of news - dh has been hogging the laptop!
Tiktok - thanks for the post - long story but bf wasn't happening for me this time round.
Gina - sounds like you've had a really rough time of it too. You have all my sympathy and support! I hope you manage to get someone to listen to you soon. Had deja vu reading your latest post!
Re: ds2 we saw a consultant paed last Thursday who agreed that it wasn't reflux so we have stopped all the medication. She is not sure why he doesn't want to feed but her solution has been to put him on a high energy milk called Infatrini. He has only been managing 500mls per day (for his weight he should be taking 1300mls) and has started to lose weight hence the high energy milk. What this means is that even if he only manages 500mls per day he should still be getting enough nutrition to grow etc. Dh and I pushed for blood test etc and were still refused as she said she wouldn't know what she was testing for! As far as the hospital follow up is concerned we have a review for the Infatrini in about 3 weeks and another consultant paed appointment at the end of April. In the meantime our GP has had a change of heart after I went to see him again and has referred us to go private for a second opinion and also baseline blood tests - good news at last .
We have also changed bottles and teats - he had the Nuk teats whilst in hospital and he seemed to prefer them so we are now using nuk latex fast flow teats which seem to be really soft and also means he doesn't have to work so hard to get his milk. There is not as much crying as before whilst feeding (although this could be down to me accepting that he just doesn't take much and not trying to force him to drink). I just try not to get too worked up when he refuses to feed or takes only 30-60mls (about 1-2oz) a feed (still easier said than done). I have found the same issue as you Gina, ds2 will only drink with me, dh tries but hasn't been very successful, mum has tried with no luck. Again my ds2 drinks much better at home (also I dread the looks I get when I am out and feeding with him crying and ds1 playing up).
All in all things haven't changed that much for us except this high enery milk, I have been told to get ds2 weighed every week and the hospital will review when we are next seen. I just feel a bit house tied and all of this isn't doing ds1 any good either.
I have my mum around for a couple of days this week so have some support at home whilst dh is getting stressed at work.
Gina, I really hope things are going a bit better for you. I am feeling more positive as a result of high energy milk and private referral. Will definitely let you know how it goes.
I also wanted to say a huge thanks to MN, don't know what I would have done without you!
Gina & Hangster - sorry that you're both having such troubles. Can I just throw in that babies with reflux don't always projectile vomit. Some have 'silent' reflux in that they just reflux up into the oesophagus. It causes pain and discomfort which they then begin to associate with feeding.
Hope the sitaution improves for you both very soon.
Well well well I took dd to see a paed today and i have been told that it could all be down to reflux!!!
Saggarmakersbottomknocker - your absolutely right - the paed said that it's likely that she is suffering from heart burn and refuses to feed because it is so uncomfortable and that this is the reason she crys when i try to feed her. There is no crying otherwise. The paed said that there are babies that are more tolerant that others and don't moan about the discomfort! Thats why we didn't know otherwise! The only sign was arching back and burying her face in my chest.
Anyway we have been given Gaviscon and to review in 1 week!
Just like you Hangster i have to have dd weighed weekly until we are all satisfied that she is feeding properly! I'm also going to go out tomorrow as i can't stand staying in. I've restricted myself to going out because like you said, people stare and it gets too much. Have you ever noticed that you don't see many mothers out with difficult feeders?????
I have started weaning now and she seems like she is enjoying it which is a weight off my mind. When i tried a few weeks ago she was getting so distressed about it!
I'm so glad that someone is finally listening to you. I think it's hard for others to understand unless they see it for themselves or have been through it. Your right about not getting worked up, i think it makes the situation worst. But again it's hard not too. Especially when they didn't drink much on the last feed! It is so easy to get down about it too especially if your the only one doing the feeds 5-6 times a day. It's never ending!
Hangster i was talking to a friend of yours on another thread about bowel movements!
I don't know if that has all settled now but i was told today that green poo can indicate either having too much milk or not having enough. I also asked about the acidic smell and was told that could be due to the build up of the acid in the stomach that travels to the bowel.
Anyway we are going to see how this week goes with Gaviscon and see if there is any differnce. DD is 5 months old now so HV and i have discussed a timetable for weaning - the sooner we get her on solids the better. We have discussed her milk intake too, i'm hoping that it is 'silent' reflux and this will all be resolved, i guess only time will tell.
Hangster you sound more positive in your last post - at least there is plan. I really hope that this all begins to settle down.
We've been having problems for the last 3 months now and each month has been getting worst. I know how draining it can be and anxoius and worried you can get. I just pray that Gaviscon is the answer.
Thinking of you all the time and you know where is am if you need anything. Will keep you posted on how we get on this week. Let me know how your doing too.
could it be silent reflux..with that thye don't puke up, but they are in pain, like heartburn or worse.... upright position will make a difference and maybe medication...ask your GP about it and what he thinks.
sorry hadn't read the whole thread, so just ignore my post!
Gina - glad that you have someone listening to you. There are further meds they can prescribe if the gaviscon doesn't work but it can take a while for the oesophagus to heal before you see a turn for the better.
Do you have the head of the cot propped up? Put a rolled up blanket under the mattress. They are often more comfy if not sleeping flat.
Gina - it's great that the you have found a possible "cause". I really hope that the gaviscon works for your dd and I'm also pleased to hear that weaning is going well as I remember you had a tough time last time you tried. I'm glad that you have finally got a "plan" as such, I've got my fingers crossed for you.
Re: the poo issue from the other thread the new high energy milk has turned his poo dark green and much more solid - not pleasant at all but am going to ask paed if this is normal with this milk although I am sure it is as it started as soon as he had the new milk.
Things are still up and down feedwise with ds2, he has days where he will drink ok (that being around 600 mls) and other days when it is much less. I just hope that this "magic" high enery milk is doing what it is supposed to. Weigh day is Thursday so we will see how he has done in the past week. To make matters more complicated he is due to have his 3rd set of immunisations tomorrow morning - tbh I am dreading it but I have already delayed it by one week.
The good news is we have a confirmed appointment with the private consultant paed next Monday morning which will include baseline blood tests. I still really want to find out if there is an underlying cause of ds2 not wanting to feed and never feeling hungry....
I bit the bullet this afternoon and took both ds1 and ds2 to a softplay centre, let ds1 work off some energy whilst feeding ds2. It wasn't too bad as there was so much noise that one baby crying whilst feeding didn't create too many stares...I feel much better having been out of the house for a good length of time.
Will keep you posted on ds2.
Gina please keep in touch as I really want to hear how you get on and please CAT me if you ever need anything or just a sympathetic ear.
Thanks Hangster and the same to you too!
How's ds2 today? Hope the injections didn't bother him too much!
Gaviscon hasn't really had much influenence yet on dd! But weaning is going great still.
Very tired today i think this is taking it's toll on me. I feel like i'm feeding her all day long.
My HV has advise
8am - Milk
11am/12pm - puree
12pm/1pm - milk
3pm/4pm - puree
4pm/5pm - milk
8pm/9pm - milk
I wouldn't mind it all if she would take her milk without a fight. But because she is so awkard i have to stay in and do it all.
I really dread everyday. It must be so frustrating for dd - there must be something wrong. She gets so distressed.
I feel the same i'm sure there is some logical explanation as to why she doesn't feel hungry or not wanting her milk.
Feeding her puree food is great she really has taken to it and seems to be enjoying it. Also doesn't take too long either! But the milk feed is so exhasting.
I was adviced today to rub some calgel on her gums 15 mins before a feed just incase she is teething. This is probably the only thing i haven't tried!
Please let me know how it goes with the appointment with private paed. We are going to get a 2nd opinion if this Gavison doesn't work.
Anyway hope everyone has a lovely Valentines.
Hi, good to hear from you Gina. Glad that you are having such success with weaning. Weaning is tiring at the best of times (I was feeding DS1 every couple of hours when I was weaning him) so I really feel for you - here's a virtual hug!
As others have said, it can take a while for the gaviscon to work although i would go back if there is no improvement after a week. DS2 was given ranitidine as well as gaviscon when the paeds thought he had reflux so that may be a next step?
DS2 is 4 months old today (although he was 5 weeks early) and seems to have survived his 3rd set of immunisations ok so far (with the help of some calpol). Feeding was not too bad today and he even drank 170mls (6oz) at his 6:30pm feed - a record for him - although this may be due to not having had much at 2:30pm! I shouldn't speak too soon as one reasonable feed is always followed by many more difficult and stressful ones!
Weigh day tomorrow so will see how he has done on the Infatrini milk this past week - fingers crossed.
Will let you know re: ds2's weight.
Have a good evening.
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