18 months old almost weaned, but how to get rid of the evening feed without disrupting our carefully honed and effective routine????

[CorrieDale]

I had intended to let DS self-wean, but at 17 weeks pregnant, breastfeeding is now toe-curlingly painful, and the pain lasts for an hour or so after the feed stops.

For several months we've been on morning and evening feeds only, and a few weeks ago, we ditched the morning feed. Tonight, I tried him with a cup of cocoa, which he loved, but not enough to want to abandon his usual feed (with accompanying lullabies - same ones every night) once storytime was over.

He has historically been a terrible sleeper but has been brilliant for the last two months and, frankly, I'm not anxious to go back to the old days! OTOH, I cannot keep going with the pain of feeding, plus I'm not entirely convinced I'll be able to tandem feed if DS doesn't self-wean within the next five months. Has anybody else managed to do a non-disruptive dump of the final feed and if so, how????

[NotQuiteCockney]

I think what we did with DS1 was, we went from "story, boob, bed", to "boob, story, bed", so the milk bit wasn't as tied to the bed as before - the story was the bit right before sleep. Then we moved from boob to milk in a sippy cup. (I wouldn't use cocoa as a regular thing, because of the sugar, tbh.)

Why are you worried you won't be able to tandem feed? Lots of MNers have had good experiences with tandem feeding, and it sounds like an excellent way to keep the older kid from tantrumming while the younger one feeds! Your DS may still be interested in tandem feeding, even if he weans now.

[maisym]

Milk choc did the trick for me. The change will be difficult for a few days but the new routine will become the established routine very soon.

[Wallace]

Did the similar to NQC.

Before dropping the bedtime feed we went upstairs and did story, boob, bed.

Dropped the feed by having the story downstairs, then straight to bed. They never even really noticed that the feed had gone!

[CorrieDale]

Thanks for the replies. I think I'll have to tweak the routine. DS doesn't actually need to feed to sleep any more - I put him in his cot at 7.10 even if he's still awake, and he gets himself off to sleep nicely. So in theory it shouldn't be a problem. In theory, that is.

NQC, I think I'm anxious about tandem feeding because a) the MW said that a lot of her mothers had problems with the older one when doing this (maybe I should have asked her to be more specific but she always gives the impression of being in a massive hurry. Next time I'll ask though) and b) DS fed virtually all the time for about 3 months. Which makes me worry that I'll have a job coping with the new baby also feeding lots, and if DS decides that he a=needs to be in on the act, how on earth can I do it? I've already decided that this time I am going to learn how to feed lying down, no matter how long it takes, and I'll use a wrap around sling, but even so... Maybe I'll do a search on tandem feeding and see if I get anything more positive than the nebulous worries I'm stuck with now.