When to stop breastfeeding?

[skibump]

ds is 10 months old, I'm thinking of stopping bfing. Just wondered what other people's experience was? (and picking brains of people who've actually done the research )

[calmontheoutside]

I loved it and was happy to continue until 18 months. DD had a good vocab by then, and I'm embarrassed to say that that is partly why I cut out the final feed at that time. Other people (MIL who we were staying with inbetween houses) were always a little surprised to know and hear (DD asking for Mummy's bedtime boobie) that that is what we were still doing... I had been going to wait until she was no longer interested. But anyway it came as no big deal to her - I found it sad though, knowing that that was going to be the last feed.

[yellowrose]

Hi Ski

My DS is 2.6 years old, bf a few times a day still.

Is there a particular reason you wish to give up ? Are you fed up ?

Give us some more info. so we can comment more.

What kind of research are you after ?

[Aloha]

If you do want to carry on (I'm still breastfeeding dd, who is nearly two, most mornings and nights, to my complete amazement) then don't use words like 'booby'! My dd says 'mummor' (a word she invented) which is a lot more discreet

[Hattie05]

Hi i bf dd until she was two. From the age of one i felt under pressure to give up as its obvious from other comments here, it feels 'embarrassing' to still be breastfeeding over one. But why don't people who give their children dummy's and bottles feel embarrassed too?

That was with my first, now i have no.2 i am not going to let myself be drawn into other peoples opinions.

Anyway, i'm glad i continued breastfeeding dd until she was two, she is know four and watching her baby sister breastfeed from me, with no jealousy whatsoever. She is a happy confident little girl with no dependencies.

i see no reason for you to give up yet unless its a personal wish of yours.

[harpsichordcarrier]

hello and well done for getting this far!
the WHO recommend that you bf until 2 yo at least.
I recommend you bf for as long as you and your ds wants.
my dd1 is 3.5 aqnd tbh I can't really say when I "stopped" bf her, it just gradually tailed off after her third birthday until it was very occasional.
\i fed her through my pg with dd2 and tandem fed the two of them. dd2 is not 14 months and still going strong. they are both happy confident healthy children with a wonderful relationship with each other and I have had no siblibg jealousy whatsoever.
I would hope to continue to bf dd2 until she self weans too, whenever that is. PS I am v normal and shave my legs and so on

[Hattie05]

harpischord, does the milk change again during pregnancy? Do you still get colostrum?
I've always wondered how this works! Did your eldest show any dislike of the new tasting milk?

When dd2 was born, dd1 kept asking if she could have some, for a while i kept saying no and then one day she caught me off guard and helped herself, to my delight she said "ooh yuck that doesn't taste like real milk!" .

I feared that at the age of four she'd try it and want to take up breastfeeding again, but that most certainly wasn't the case and i'm so glad she did get to try so that she didn't have to feel like she was missing out on anything.

[harpsichordcarrier]

yes, my production stopped or at least slowed down for a while - dd1 complained "not working!" - then I started to produce colostrum (but only from one side) for the last trimester. dd1 didn't seem to mind. but she was very excited about the other side working again after the birth

[Cadmum]

Hello skibump!

Our db #4 is also 10 months and still breast fed. I don't really have a plan for giving up because it just happened gradually for her older brothers and sister.

Do you want to give up now? Is your ds happy with a bottle?

[Pitchounette]

Message withdrawn

[skibump]

Thx everyone (Hi Caddy). ds more than happy with boob/bottle/cup - really he doesn't care where it comes from as long as it's food! He's on 3 good solid meals a day and only takes anything significant from me at bedtime (he has formula on cereal 4 breakfast) We'd like to have another child and I thought a)more difficult to conceive/ carry a pregnancy while breastfeeding - hadn't realised it was possible to do both harpichordcarrier and b) it would be better to give my body a break before embarking on #2. Maybe that's not the case? NB Pitchounette, he's got no teeth at the moment, and that would definitely be relevant.... I know I'll miss the closeness at the end of the day when we stop

[skibump]

btw, good vocabulary tip

[ivelostmyboobsboohoo]

hi, i bf my dd til she was 2, she was going to be my 'last baby' and i was enjoying it so much and so was she. i grew to ignore the comments from other people, but mostly MIL. i ended up getting pro BF tshirts for dd and putting them on her whenever we saw mil. tshirts such as ' i like milk from my mummy not just from any old cow'. brilliant! she would say, from age about 6 months- when are you going to put her on proper milk. what like milk from a different animal? it used to get me so so so mad.
anyway, i stopped because in the end i dont think she was actually getting anything as my boobs would hurt everytime i fed her and she wouldn just mess around. so one night i just told her mummys boobs had broken so no more booby. she said 'okay' slept all night and only asked once again the next day and that was it. no boob soreness, leaking or anything. so it was obviouslly the right time. she certainly seemed happy to finish and that made me fel happier about it too.
feed as long as you and yopur baby want to. if you are both enjoying it then carry on regardless of what other people may think.

[sweetkitty]

hi skibump - I'm asking myself the very same question just now DD2 is nearly a year old and I said I would stop at a year but I'm having second thoughts. She's down to 2 feeds a day now as well, I think I'm going to continue until the Spring to give her some antibodies in this cold weather.

DD1 self weaned at just over 12 months, I was 3 months pregnant and I don't know if the milk tasted funny but it was so easy for us both that I never even thought about it. She was down to just a morning feed by then, one day she never asked for it, she had a cup of milk and that was us. I was relieved in a way as my boobs were hurting a bit.

ILMBBH - your MIL sounds like both my mother and MIL, makes me so angry when they tell you your milk isn't proper like cows milk.

[ivelostmyboobsboohoo]

i know. the stupid thing was that she even bf herself (just not for so long). i always say to them- would you think it 'normal' for a kitten to be fed by a dog or a pig being fed by a sheep?!!!! my dh says i'm a bf fundamentalist!

[yellowrose]

I always say cow's milk is made for the brain of a calf. My milk is made for brain of my baby, that usually shuts 'em up

[yellowrose]

ivelost - welcome to the bf MAFIA - a horrid term but that's what they call us lot who point out that human milk is better than animal milk

[bogie]

just wondered if any1 can help im 19 and has a ds that is 1 and still having 3 feeds a day but i have started to get shooting pains really bad any1 know what it is oh and also i will be going to bulgaria for 4 days with out him will i dry up is it a good idea to ween him 1st?

[yellowrose]

bogie - please start a new thread so more people will see your query

[calmontheoutside]

Great vocab tip, Aloha... If there's a next time (another IVF I suspect) then there'll be none of that boobying around...
I know it's just annecdotal but within 6 months of me giving up BF, DD had 3 minor colds - interesting to note that she had none while BF (18 months). Of course, as she got older she was out and about more and more likely to catch colds, but she had plenty of opportunities from other babies when she was younger too.

[yellowrose]

calm - I always say anecdotes are fine when they support or refute hard evidence and yours supports hard evidence !

[calmontheoutside]

Anecdote, anecdote... SORRY...
Yellowrose - are you genuinely happy to completely ignore raised eyebrows and snippy comments about still bf? I found it difficult at the time, but then I'm far too concerned about what people think, stupidly so... I gave up at 18 months and think I'd have gone on longer had there been none of it. Anyway, well done to you.

[yellowrose]

calm - the way I have dealt with it and I know it's damned hard when you have lots of ignorant people around you (which I do) is to joke about it. I know they say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but I honestly found nothing else works other than me saying something silly back. Now I am not saying everyone should do this, it is just my personal way of dealing with my own situation.

My favourite one is a remark (received every time she visits) from a very good friend whom I have a lot of respect for and admire in many ways, an intellignet well-read woman. She is in her early 60's just retired, never married and has no children (not that any of this matters a bit).

She says "YellowRose you are setting up your DS for a life long obsession with boobs bf him for THIS long" ! To which I say EVERY man I have ever met has had a life long obsession with boobs, even the bottle fed ones". She is saying that bf a toddler, esp. a boy, is somehow sexual, which as we all know is a nonsense. She is a good friend, so I just joke with her and she takes it because she knows what I am like !

It's very hard though if these sorts of comments come from blood relations or in-laws or the OUT LAWS as I call mine The thing that disappoints me most is my mother's attitude to it as I love her deeply, but just can't agree with her on anything about raising kids. She thinks smacking is ok (weird as I don't ever remember her smacking me) and bf beyond a year is just plain stupid. Sarcasm doesn't work with my mum though so with her I just change the subject quickly and pretend I didn't hear whatever she said.

I just think bf needs a lot of confidence and it's a damned shame that we as mothers and fathers have to find ways to justify it. I always think I have better things to do with my life than have to justify how I choose to feed or raise my son.

[skibump]

ILMBboohoo, like the sound of the teeshirts, where do you get them???

[ivelostmyboobsboohoo]

now, i've no idea how to do the link thing but they are from www.lactivist.co.uk. loads and loads on there. we ended up with quite a few! and yess they are great- we got lots of comments..... i particularly liked "i'm a tit man" (!) but having a girl it wouldnt have been appropriate!!!!