Feeding to sleep and separation anxiety

(5 Posts)
Miffyandme Fri 13-May-16 07:23:43

Posting in here as I don't know how much of this is related to BFing. I fed first baby until 7 months so never reached the separation anxiety at night stage when BFing.
Now my 11 month old is waking every 1-2 hours screaming and won't settle. I have pretty much always fed her to sleep. It can be a quick process but now it is as if she is watchful for me leaving the room. We co-slept till around 6 months (I think?!) and I had to stop that regularly as she started needing constant attachment to me which meant I got very little sleep. I have posted before about chronic sleep deprivation (I have a 2 year old so napping when baby sleep is tricky) and feeling a bit low and struggling, pretty sure it's need to sleep rather than PND.
I can sometimes sit and feed the baby back to sleep - usually on her wakes until around 11. DH tries but doesn't manage, I give them several minutes (not too long as don't want to wake toddler whose sleep is also not fab) but she calms when she has me.

But with me, she just wants to be attached. I am bringing her into our bed (DH goes into spare room as doesn't sleep with her in) but she is restless. It takes up to 90 mins to settle her once in our bed - it's as if she thinks it's playtime. Her room is too small for a mattress or anything. Our room too small for her cot next to us. I'm just so tired!!!

I could just do with some advice from anyone who has been there.....when does it pass? What tips please?
I do want to keep BFing as it is easy and we both enjoy it. This is despite encouragement from some older members of the family to stop as that will apparently help - to be fair I think they were offering to take her overnight.

Miffyandme Fri 13-May-16 14:00:58

Anyone?

CheersBigEars1 Fri 13-May-16 16:27:03

Hiya, sorry no advice but just to say I am in the same boat with DS who's 9 months. He used to just wake up, quick feed then back to sleep but now he sits up starts crying and sometimes wakes up fully and takes ages to settle. We are co sleeping but I'm not sure it helps either way...it's still really difficult to get him back to sleep.

I've often wondered if it's pnd but I've had depression before and for me certainly I think it's just pure exhaustion, it does funny things to the mind. When we have a decent night (with a 4 hour stretch) I feel like a new woman. Hope someone comes along with some help but I feel for you its rubbish!

sweetkitty Fri 13-May-16 17:02:02

What I did with probably all four of mine to break the feeding to sleep cycle was to give them last feed then put them down once they woke DH took over. I slept somewhere else so they couldn't see me. He comforted them and they were never left alone to cry. This was all about once they were past 12 months. First night was tough but after that was just a shh and a pat. I stayed out the room for about 10 days to break that boob = sleep thing. It worked well for us x4.

I know it's seems terrible now but I had the most awful clingy boy who I couldn't even the room without him crying he's 6 now and so independent it's frightening.

Miffyandme Sat 14-May-16 08:47:55

Thanks, I think I need to identify a time when DH can take over all the night wakes and give her water and cuddles. I had a slightly better night last night as she didn't wake as soon as my head hit the pillow so at least I got a couple of hours sleep in first!

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