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Infant feeding

*really* fed up with this now

8 replies

SenoraPostrophe · 28/05/2004 20:27

Hi everyone. Haven't been around much lately due to working and feeding all day every day. And I need some advice as to what to do about it....

Ds is 4.5 months. He is putting on weight well (well he was last time he was weighed - we don't get out of the house much so the last time was a month ago. He still has michelin man legs and everything though). But his feeding is all over the place.

Every day during "lunch" (the second main feed of the day - usually between 11 and 12.30 am) he feeds a little bit, screams (and won't take the breast again), calms down, feeds a bit more etc for up to 40 minutes. Sometimes he does this in the evenings too, but sometimes he just feeds for 2 or 3 hours solidly instead. He has various snacks in the afternoon, but rarely more than 10 mins at a time without some kind of messing about. He's also still waking 3-5 times a night.

Now I'm working, I can't do it any more. I need some kind of routine to plan around. I've tried:

  • making him go longer between feeds (by carrying him constantly) so he feeds better at the next one. (he doesn't feed better, but I think he yaks a bit less this way. hard to be sure though).

  • Gina Ford's "making sure he is wide awake till afternoon nap time" bit (sometimes works for the morning, never works in the afternoon). I even tried doing her plan rigidly for 2 days in desperation, but gave up.

  • giving him a bottle at lunchtime (or getting someone else to do it). He takes about an ounce, and then screams.

  • Finally my new plan is to rock him back to sleep on my chest when he wakes at night (sometimes after a short feed), in the hope that he will start eating less at night and more in the day. This helps me sleep better, but now he has started messing about at breakfast - best feed is the last night one at about 5am (and this is Spain so it's still dark then, and dd doesn't get up till 9). I would use a dummy, but he has refused one since he was about 6 weeks old.

  • winding him lots. sometimes this helps, but doesn't stop him from feeding all afternoon and then waking up lots at night anyway.

    I don't know what it is - is it worth taking him to the doctor? Any other tips from mums of bad sleepers / mess-abou-feeders?
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aloha · 28/05/2004 21:06

Oh, you poor thing. Believe me, I know how you feel. My ds was a hideous sleeper until 8months, and looking back I don't think there was much I could do to improve things. I think you need support from your dh to do things in shifts and alternate lie-ins (in the post-parental sense of the word, meaning sleeping past 5am!). It will pass. Ds is now two and sleeps all night and for two hours every afternoon, but I don't know if that helps. Sorry!

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karen99 · 29/05/2004 08:12

Hi SenoraP, I found that if I "demand fed" my ds he would just get too full and show a similar behaviour. I had to put a feeding routine in place and decided to offer the breast every 3hrs. This allowed enough time for the last meal to be digested and an appetite to be built. As he hit around the 4.5 mo age (admittedly he did start solids at this time) he could stretch to 4hrs between the early afternoon and evening feed to make sure he took a full feed before bed.

At one point, just before we introduced solids, the nighttime feeds started to increase. To me this was a sign he needed more than my milk (he has always been in the 80+ centiles if you're familiar with those) Within a week of introducing solids I felt confident he was getting enough food throughout the day and we went cold-turkey on the feeds at night [systematically]. I had an old thread on this, I'll see if I can find it once the archive db is working again.

Hang in there. I'm sure you'll get lots more advice soon.

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SenoraPostrophe · 29/05/2004 09:33

Thanks you two.

Karen - he did start waking more at night a couple of weeks ago (every 2 hours), but has settled back down to every 3 hours again now - so it could be worse!

It really doesn't help that dp and I have just set up a new company, so dp is working his arse off and therefore needs his sleep even more than me.

I think I may try again with imposing a routine. It's just that he messes about even when there has been a 3 hour gap (so I'm wondering if he has some kind of digestive problem? )

Very reassuring to know that your ds now sleeps well, Aloha - maybe I'll get the 2 of them sleeping at the same time one day!

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karen99 · 29/05/2004 11:05

Hi SP, out of interest when are you going to introduce solids (6mo)? I have read on other threads that sometimes the thrashing at the beginning can be due to a strong letdown, ie. when the milk comes into the breast it whooshes out quite fast for the first minute or so. Some babes can't handle this rate and splutter on it. Some advice was to remove babe as soon as let down comes in and hand express for a min until the 'rush' passes and put babe back on. Not sure how easy it would be to do that as my ds hated being taken off the boob once on but it may be worth a go.

My ds' colic didn't go until around 4.5mo either. All of a sudden overnight it seemed to go. Here are a couple of threads I mentioned, maybe worth a read - here and here . I think they're the right ones. HTH

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karen99 · 29/05/2004 11:12

Just re-read your original post. IME you need to cut out the day 'snacking'. They're never decent feeds and if he's constantly topped-up he'll never have an empty tummy to have a full feed. As for the night feeds I couldn't feed ds after 4am or else he didn't have a good breakfast. Can't remember how we got through those last few hours, but if he fed any later it would mess him up for the rest of the day.

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SenoraPostrophe · 29/05/2004 17:13

karen - that's the thing. Even if I cut out the snacking he still messes about at lunchtime. And then he wants feeding 2 hours later and then gets grumpy. That's the problem I think.

But he regularly feeds after 4am. I think I'm going to try to stop that tonight (I've been too scared so far as I'm tired enough as it is). I'm also going to get dp to watch dd tomorrow at lunchtime and feed him in the bedroom so he's less jumpy (I think part f the problem is that he's too nosey! ). I'll let you know how it goes!

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foxinsocks · 29/05/2004 17:38

have you tried him with water in between his 'main' feeds (as his snack)? My two both mucked about on the boob in the afternoon - wanting extra long sessions. I don't think they need to be on that long, I think they just like being attached to the boob for comfort. I think if my son had had the choice at that age, he would have been surgically attached to it!

The water won't fill him up and might get him to last a tiny bit longer until his next feed (and he can have it out of a little cup or bottle).

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karen99 · 29/05/2004 18:18

Yes, and unfortunately a quiet room is the best place. I stopped feeding in the lounge around 5/6mo and moved to his bedroom cos distractions downstairs were just too much. Sometimes I'd drap a muslin over my shoulder and his head so he couldn't do that 180deg turn whilst still holding onto your nipple - ouuuchchchch!
I think you're right tackling the 4am feed first, the rest may fall into place. It will take a couple of days of him whinging to get used to a new routine unfortunately.

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