DS was born 8 days ago by EMCS and has basically never latched on. I expressed colostrum and then at 48 hours when he still wouldn't latch felt totally bullied by midwives into giving him bottles of formula top ups to supplement what I can express. He becomes totally hysterical when I try and latch him on, screams, is inconsolable. Will then calm down but as soon as he goes anywhere near my nipple its like I'm trying to murder him. He is very sleepy between feeds and I often have to wake him to make sure it isn't longer than 4 hours between feeds.
To make matters worse my supply is crap, I never really felt my milk come in and I've not been able to decrease the "top ups" at all.
We've been seen by various midwives and a lactation consultant and no one seems to be able to help much. They did diagnose a posterior tongue tie which has been cut and so far made no difference. He had lost 9% of his birthweight by day 5 and I'm not optimistic about his next weigh in.
I desperately want to breast feed and feel like an utter failure as a mother for not being able to. I can't stand seeing the level of distress. I really would appreciate any advice. TIA.
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Infant feeding
Feeling like a total failure with BF
LittleTalks · 09/04/2016 16:23
I've no advice, I just wanted to say you are amazing for still going and trying, and for all you have done already. I lasted 3 days with DC1 and less then 10 hours with dc2. I felt like a failure too but you are so not failing 
Congratulations on your new baby. That's lovely news!
Your next post will be asking us how to get him to wean. 
BF can be bloody difficult. I had various problems with DS too, although eventually fed him until he self weaned at 4.
And formula is there if you want or need to use it. It's not rat poison, you know.
I'm so glad you're doing better. Part of the problem is always us beating ourselves up. Like I said, I've used nipple shields with 4 of mine (I struggled without with my first) and it looks like with my youngest I will be using them long term as she is now 3 months and we are still using them. But that is ok, it works for us and means I don't have to faff with bottles and formula. Good luck tomorrow 
Well done
The first 2 weeks for me were horrendous and I'm sure I was borderline PND because of the pressure I was putting myself u set but it does get easier!!
Spend as much time as you can stripped off to the waist with baby in nappy having skin to skin, worked wonders for my supply. I also expressed about 2 hours after feeding so my boobs were being 'used' every 2 hours not 4.
Keep it up you are doing brilliantly
Whatever happens, you are not a failure! Expressed colostrum and BM is a good start for your baby, even if it's only for a few days. If you end up formula feeding, formula milk these days is very, very much better than it was a couple of decades ago, your baby will do just fine on it
A wee story about my DS4, tongue tie (not diagnosed at the time), and jaundice, he lost a huge amount of weight. He was latching but weakly and was tiring out and Falling asleep (due to the jaundice). MW was coming to our house daily to weigh him. Although very pro BF and not pushing formula initially, it did get to the point where hospital admission was talked about and we decided to supplement with formula. I expressed and continued to bf too. By age 2 months, we gradually reduced the formula feeds and stopped them completely, and he was then bf until about 15months.
Using formula now doesn't mean you have to give up on BF all together ... Unless you want to of course, which is a valid decision to make
One of the drawbacks with shields is the feeds taking that bit longer. Just keep on as you are, you're doing so well. Have you tried latching him without the shield? Halfway through a feed is the best time, get him feeding then remove him and take the shield away and see if he will latch without it. My 3 month old can latch without but kicks up a holy stink so we are carrying on with the shields. If he will latch without then keep doing it halfway through for a couple of days and then try without the shield at the beginning of a feed. He is still young enough you might be rid of them. Try googling the flipple technique or exaggerated latch, they might help
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He hasn't gained any weight, and in fact has lost a little (50g) in the last 5 days 
. I don't know what to do for the best. I suspect it's because he isn't actually taking in that much. Even though he spends ages latched on I don't think he sucks efficiently for a large proportion of that time.
The MW wasn't concerned but I'm worried sick. She said he's well and was happy to weigh him again in a week. I so want to BF him but not if its going to stunt his development. I don't know if I'm being selfish for wanting to persevere or for thinking about stopping. It's breaking my heart a bit .
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