quick advice needed

(35 Posts)
buntingbingo Sat 16-Jan-16 15:47:00

Juat been admitted to hospital with 2 week on dd. She isn't gaining weight. They are going to top her up. I've refused a bottle and said I'd rather tube feed.
Bf has been so hard to get going and I'm desperate to keep it up.

Is this the right thing to do? Is a bottle really so bad?

Am I being too stubborn?

buntingbingo Sat 16-Jan-16 15:48:07

I'm doubting myself now. Can I bare to see her have a tube down her nose because of me? But if she won't latch on after having a bottle that's the end of bf so is that worse in the long run.?

Buttwing Sat 16-Jan-16 15:48:13

Give her a bottle. She needs help. I can't imagine choosing tube feeding over a bottle.

Murphyslaw21 Sat 16-Jan-16 15:49:44

Sorry, breast is best only if it works. If it don't then bottle . What's wrong with expressing and putting in bottle.

My DD was too small to latch had no choice had to express. Then had lactose and acid build up formula had to be used.

I think you are being stubborn. Nothing wrong with bottle .

Bottle over tube all day long

Murphyslaw21 Sat 16-Jan-16 15:50:47

What's worse is baby having tube! Bottle is nothing!!! Stop go for bottle EXPRESS

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome Sat 16-Jan-16 15:56:40

Breast is only best when it works. Formula is not unhealthy or wrong,
Could you think of it as medicine rather than as a food for her?
In the same way that you wouldn't not let her have antibiotics if she needed them, she just needs the extra calories from the milk right now

MaisieDotes Sat 16-Jan-16 16:01:13

I'd give a bottle, no question. I gave DS a bottle to top up when he had lost more than 10% of his birth weight.

If you have supply then why not give a bottle of expressed bm?

dannydyerismydad Sat 16-Jan-16 16:08:16

Don't doubt yourself. This is not your fault. If she needs a bottle, offer a bottle. You can ask for a pump to supply your own milk if you don't want to offer formula.

When bottle feeding, try to get all the teat into her mouth to ensure she maintains the wide gape, and paced bottle feeding will emulate the let downs which occur during feeding.

Is it possible age has a tongue tie ? Posterior ties are notoriously hard to spot, but make feeding arduous, so baby burns as much energy extracting the milk as they get from the milk.

Breast compressions whilst feeding will make things easier for your baby too.

Get through this weekend. Call a breastfeeding helpline to talk things through and seek out a breastfeeding supporter on Monday x

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome Sat 16-Jan-16 16:09:29

Does your hospital have a breastfeeding nurse specialist you can see? They would be able to give expert advice.
Have a look at www.kellymom.com
It's a brilliant breastfeeding website & has a chat forum similar to mumsnet with loads of expert advice

dannydyerismydad Sat 16-Jan-16 16:11:43

Here's the number for the national breastfeeding helpline 0300 100 0212

They won't tell you what to do, but they will listen and give you options.

buntingbingo Sat 16-Jan-16 16:16:53

Thank you. I needed a talking to. I've said ok to the bottle.

I know it's not the End of the world. But I failed to feed my other 2 dc and was so happy it seemed to be going well this time.
I just feel so emotional about it.

Anyway she's had the bottle. She's happy and full up finally and I just need to get a grip. sad

GameOfGroans Sat 16-Jan-16 16:25:30

Please don't beat yourself up about this, you are doing the very best you can for your baby. If it helps a similar thing happened with my dd and I ended up giving her a bottle. But with practice and lots of support from breast feeding advisors I was able to gradually build up breastfeeding again. I combination fed her from then on, and she had the best of both worlds!

buntingbingo Sat 16-Jan-16 16:27:45

Thanks. That does help. I think I'm a wreck from two weeks solid bf day and night so I'm super emotional and unreasonable 😊

firsttimemum15 Sat 16-Jan-16 16:42:59

I had s similar issue. Baby is just over two weeks. Lost 10% of body weight. I had to give formula one night as I couldn't get anything out of boobs and baby was hungry.

Turns out my supply was low. I've been expressing regularly to stimulate supply and feeding her this back via a bottle. I used a calma bottle which is supposed to mimic the boob but initially began with normal bottle.
She's still latching on and seems to prefer the boob. It killed me to giver her a bottle as I was worried about the same thing but couldn't see her go hungry. We cup fed in hospital before we left.

When I came out and after 8 found out supply was low I pumped after every feed and gave her 30ml top ups after every feed until she looked satisfied after feeding from me. I'm still expressing to keep supply up. Taking fenugreek and using expressed milk of needed.

MaisieDotes Sat 16-Jan-16 17:06:16

But I failed to feed my other 2 dc

You did not fail anything. Breastfeeding might not have worked but your babies got fed, right?

I've been where you are emotionally and I know that nothing I or anyone else can say will alleviate these feelings completely for you at the moment OP, but please, please don't go down the "I have failed" route.

You haven't, and everything is fine and your baby will be fine and that's the most important thing. flowers

stargirl1701 Sat 16-Jan-16 17:10:08

How about syringe or cup feeding? A supplemental nursing device?

Ask for the Infant Feeding Specialist. The mat ward will have her number.

Do you want to pump? Ask for a hospital grade pump. Again the mat ward will have them.

You can ask for donor milk on Human Milk for Human Babies on Facebook.

The WHO guidelines are

1 Mums own milk at the breast
2 Mums own milk expressed
3 Donor milk
4 Artificial formula milk

Murphyslaw21 Sat 16-Jan-16 17:23:12

Anyway she's had the bottle. She's happy and full up finally
**
See bottles don't equal poison !

Don't stress

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Sat 16-Jan-16 17:26:22

How is your latch? Ask for cup top ups while they look at your latch and her feeding. Good luck.

buntingbingo Sat 16-Jan-16 18:15:00

She had the bottle now back on the boob. Plan is to start to express too and top up with that.

Mothers guilt+worry+tiredness made me an emotional wreck.
DH and dc have just been to visit ha so I feel better now.
Thank you all for your advice.

CultureSucksDownWords Sat 16-Jan-16 20:25:01

My DS had to be tube fed at birth and given formula as I wasn't in a state to be expressing. I had to express a lot to get my supply going, I also used the Calma bottles to try and mimic the breastfeeding action. We got to 100% direct breast feeding after several weeks, hard going but got there in the end. Look at the formula as a medicine that your baby needs at the moment.

GameOfGroans Sun 17-Jan-16 21:11:58

How are things now Bunting? I hope baby and you are doing well thanks

buntingbingo Tue 19-Jan-16 02:27:29

Thanks game.. well we were stuck in hospital until yesterday. But now she's hydrated and gaining weight thanks to the formula.
I was expressing on hospital. They had a really good pump as her latch has just gone and my nips are bleeding.
Now I'm. Home I don't know what to do. They said to bf for 10 mins before formula but it feels pointless. She isn't latching. She doesn't seem to get any milk with the shields. I'm pumping but not getting anything like what I was in hospital.
Can't decide whether to persevere of of I'm flogging a dead horse. I'm so torn. I'd love to bf still obviously but it just seems like hassle and pain that isn't achieving anything.

Sorry for the essay!

firsttimemum15 Tue 19-Jan-16 03:03:17

It's not easy. My boons were so sore when expressing but my girl was latching so I can't give any advice on that score. You're doing amazing. Keep going. I've had times when I wanted to give up.

Today I haven't got much out on pump at all. I'm speaking to specialist midwife and BF support to find out why got over 130ml past few days but only 70ml today.

Have you tried fenugreek?

You're doing so well. Keep going. Try to stay positive. If you do decide to stop give yourself credit for how mi h you tried and how far you came. You're not a failure.

BusyCee Tue 19-Jan-16 03:22:03

La Leche league will give excellent advice - in person if they have local rep, or on the phone. Google them

Good luck with everything. It sounds as though you've had a really hard time. Be kind to yourself. As PP have said, more important to your baby than breast milk, is a calm and relaxed and tuned in mum. And if FF helps you be this, then it's the best option. thanks

Sleepybunny Tue 19-Jan-16 05:58:14

Wow! I don't know how anyone could say you haven't done your absolute best in such difficult circumstances.
You should be nothing but proud.

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