5m want to give up bf but dd won't take a bottle - will I be feeding her forever more?1

[bodenbetty]

have had enough of breastfeeding now & am losing confidence in the ability of my milk to fill her up as she is feeding every 3 hours still night & day.
trouble is she refuses point blank to take anything (formula/breastmilk/water/gin)from any sort of bottle. also Dh is not around to fed her so obviously she is going to prefer me to any bottel.
any tips on how to get over this?

[mears]

I would ride with it. You have come this far and she will be starting solids soon. You need to be proud of your achievement and be confident that your milk is providing everything she needs. Not only is it calories but your are providing her with antibodies that protect her from infection, especially coming into the winter. She also will want to breastfeed purely to be close to you. She will not be a baby for long and this stage will not last forever.
I got through night feeds by taking my babies into bed and sleeping at the same time as feeding. Please have confidence in yourself and look at other ways of catching up on sleep. Can anyone take her out for a walk? Do you meet up with any other mums?

[queenceleste]

It's worth speaking to a breastfeeding counsellor to get advice if you can find one somehow via your gp or midwife. It may be that if you adjusted her feeds to suit you then you wouldn't have to give up if you don't want to. I fed my ds for over a year but he did sleep through which made a huge difference. How much of your concern is about feeling that she isn't getting enough?
I think bf is great if it can be made to suit your needs a bit too. It can't just be about the baby's needs can it? good luck, it is really hard to stop.

[BrummieOnTheRun]

there's a parallel thread from successful bottle-feeding mum about Boots own-brand teats. Have you tried those? Or the Tommee Tippee closer to nature bottles. (After 3 months of trying, they worked for us).

[mamalocco]

My dd1 used to go ballistic when a bottle went anywhere near her, but one day when she was about 9 months I just decided that I'd had enough, so sat there for over an hour with a screaming baby and a bottle. She finally gave in and took the whole bottle. The next night she screamed for half an hour, the following night no complaints at all. Although I'd tried many, many times before to get her to take a bottle I think I was half-hearted about it, didn't really want to give up and probably felt guilty about giving up bf. Have to say though, once she'd taken that first bottle, I didn't bf again - in case we went back to square one - and was in agony for 10 days. With ds and dd2, they both took bottle without too much hassle and so I slowly stopped the bf which was soooo much better!! Good luck.

[ProfYaffle]

My dd only really took to formula from a cup when she was about 7mo and weaning was well established. In her case I think it was a matter of getting used to new tastes and also getting her head round the idea that food didn't always have to come from me.

It was really hard, I'd been trying for about 2 months, getting more and more frantic as my return to work date rolled ever closer. We got there in the end though.

[ELF1981]

Be proud of how far you have come.

My DD really fought in taking the bottle. She had one Avent bottle of expressed milk when she was about a month old and then around two months she had some water from a bottle and she then refused to take a bottle.

We ended up trying sooo many brands and I was in such a panic because I was due to go back to work and none of them made her happy. We tried Avent with different flow teats, Tommee Tipee with different flows and various others. In the end she would drink from NUK bottles (I dont know why). She now happily drinks from her NUK while at the CM (this is the growing up milk as she's 14 months now). Now all I need to do is work out when I'm going to give up the morning and evening feeds!!

[bodenbetty]

thank youfor replying. what makes me think she isn't getting enough is that she has gone from waking 2 a night at 3/4 months to now ervy 3hours or less at night & the only thing that will get her back to sleep in a feed.
I've tried avent bottles & tommytippe, have about 5 differnt brands of formula. I have tried giving her solids (pear) & not giving them & nothign seesm to make a difference. I am just at my wits end.

[mears]

bodenbetty - you are right about the fact that she isn't getting enough to sleep all night - that is why she is waking to boost your supply. Just feed her when she wakes rather than trying other things to avoid it. The quicker she is back to sleep the better for you both. This is totally normal at this age. I never stayed awake to feed at night. I brought all my babies into bed when they woke for a feed, latched them on and went back to sleep. If I woke again I put them back in the cot. I never had a problem with any of them not sleeping in their own cots/beds when they were older. I had 4 children and the longest I had night waking was DS3 who did not sleep all night till 8 months. Do whatever is necessary for you to get back to sleep ASAP.

[shish]

Bodenbetty, if you look back you'll see some really desperate posts from me. Feeling exactly like you are now. I'm a few weeks on now, and I never thought I'd say it, but I think things are looking a little better now. Ds still doesn't take bottle, but he's on 3 meals now, has taken to the dummy and is b/feeding a little less and in more of a routine. Mears and tiktok have been fantastioc support along with a lot of other MNetters.

I was determined to give up b/feeding by 6 months cos it was so demanding on me. ds will be 6 months next week and now he is more settled, I don't feeld so desperate.

I have to say a huge thanks to everyone who has supported me. I still don't want to b/feed up to a year, maybe up to 8-9 months. I'm hopinh he will have taken better to the cup/beaker by then. I will definatley be calling on this support again..

[mears]

I am glad that things have turned a corner for you shish

[bodenbetty]

i wish they would turn a corner for me too _ i am feeling mroe & more desperate. DD used to go 4 hours at a time at night easily but teh last month it has changed I have just fed her again & it's only 2.5 hours since her last feed. now I know it wil go on every 2-3 hours all night. I feel I'm not producing enough to satisfy her anymore - I have been run down & under a bit of stress for other reasons - bu am in a ctach 22 situation. the less well I sleep the worse I feel & the less decent milk I have so she wants to feed more etc.
I love her more than anyhtign but am feeling so despondant about the feeding.

[mears]

bodenbetty - please be assured that sleep does not affect milk production - there will be nothing wrong with the quality of your milk. The problem with tiredness is that you are less able to cope with the demands. You will have periods where your baby goes through a growth spurt and needs more milk. The baby gets that extra milk by feeding more often. Please try and just go with it for now. Don't look at the clock because that will just make you more upset. You are doing brilliantly well to still be feeding at this age. You must try and catch up on sleep when you can though. Go to bed and take her in with you.

[bodenbetty]

thank you mears. i just wish I could share yor confidence in it all. i just want to do the right thing by her. at the moment i don't feel I amdoing right by anyone. I am begining to feel so resentful of feeding so often at night even thogh usually she feeds & goes straight back odwn again. I can't cosleep but she is as near to me as can be. I just keep thiking there must be something wrong with her or me for this to be happening. we have started on pureed pear - minute quantities - but don't feel that is the answer either I wish I knew what was.

[mears]

Please have confidence in your ability to feed your baby - you can do it and are doing it.

When I was tired I took my babies into bed and lay down to feed. I snoozed as they fed. When they finished feeding I put them back into the cot if I was awake. I didn't co-sleep in the trues sense of the owrd. Why don't you try that? You might find that she actually sleeps longer.

[mears]

This stage is perfectly normal I am afraid.

[squimlet]

gosh this sounds so familiar. My ds point blank refused a bottle, so I figured try a cup/beaker. Because it was so different from a teat it wasnt a problem. There was no confusion as such. He never took to the vaccuum ones but just a plain old tomee tippee one.
DS took his time to sleep thru the night so dont fret. They will do it when they are developmentally ready. Dont worry about anyone elses babies as I am sure they are not perfect all the time.
Go with the flow and respond to your baby's needs rather that what you think they should be doing.
HTH

[bodenbetty]

thanks again. I am trying very hard to chill but that has never been one of my strong points I'm afraid. Good idea about the cup - will give that a try.

[squimlet]

big old hugs for you. I know how frustrating it can be. try not to wake up cross with her when its the middle of the night. I remember how frustrated I was that DS kept waking and 'what was wrong with him?'. Poor little sausage was hungry and needed mummy. if she settles as soon as she is fed then its simply hunger. i promise it will get better with time.
lots and lots and lots of hugs for you.

[MayaFreya]

hi bodenbetty, sounds so stressful and tiring. I remember my dd waking up a lot at 5 m because she was teething. The moment the first tooth came out she went back to normal sleep pattern. perhaps you could try Calpol and see if it makes any difference? As for the bottle, I'm in the same boat, my ds is refusing it completely and I'm now going through all the bottle brands, different types of formula, expressed milk, etc. It's so frustrating because all I want is to attend an event next week and want to leave him with a childminder for a few hours, and baby is nearly 7 mo now. Never had this with my first.

[MomOnTheRun]

Have you tried NUK teats? DD3 would not take to the bottle but used a dummy. I tried NUK teats because it is shaped like a dummy teat and she took the bottle then.

Regarding formula every baby is different. I went through 4 different formulas before she settled down with SMA progress milk. She's 21 months now and doesn't really like milk. She'll have it in her food but refuses to drink fresh milk. So I think all babies are different.

[shish]

All of your frustrations are exaclty what I have gone through and really only accepted everything in the last week or so. I really, really know what you're going through cos I was EXACTLY the same.. I think maybe we should be proud that we have been able to supply our babies with all the nutrients they need. My dh keeps reminding that we have a healthy baby boy and it's all down to my hard work - always makes me feel better.

[shish]

Mears, quick question - ds likes having the beaker in his mouth, but isn't really drinking from it.. Do you think he'll eventually get the hang of it??

[bodenbetty]

thanks everyone for all the support & messages. My Hv today suggested upping her solids which i think she proably is ready for. HOWEVER i feel a bit better because at her 8.30 wake up just now I managed to settle her back to sleep in about 5minutes without a feed - hurrah!

[squimlet]

oh superb. thats brill. So glad you feel better.
Just remember despite what your hv says she is still only 5months old so developmentally she is still young for a vast amount of solids. Remember that you are doing a superb job feeding her yourself and giving her the best possible. That said the solids might settle her for longer.
She is your baby and you are in the best position to make the decision

Big hugs to you though for a more successful day

[christmasangel]

I give my dd (5 months) 1 bottle a day. She hated every bottle except Dr Browns. They are superb - twice the price of Avent etc but worth every penny imo. My friends have all thanked me for this as I now give it to every new mum I know! Also helps if bottle is nice and warm. Good luck.