Breast feeding - do you feel your LO has had any advantages?

[Twohootsunderthemistletoe]

I know this is going to probably be a controversial subject before I start but I really need to get this off my chest....

It is possible my DD (19 mo) has asthma and I'm pretty cut up about it tbh (I was severly asthmatic and had v bad ezcema as a child and it really did cause me no end of upset at school etc). I breastfed until she was 15 mths and then gave up - feel I should have carried on until longer but at the time I was the only person I knew still feeding and felt pressure to stop etc

In the last couple of weeks she's also got a few dry patches of skin on her face which do look like eczema too

What I am really thinking to myself is why the hell did I breastfeed? The main reason I did it was because I'd wanted to try and defend DD from getting asthma and eczema, allergies and having a generally rubbish immune system like I have. However, it also turns out that she is slightly lactose intolerant!

I've heard a lot of 'evidence' saying breastfeeding can prevent these things - has anyone ever found they breastfed and their Los didn't inherit something they had??? Where is the proof?

I feel a little raw right now so this is probably coming across all wrong but I just wanted to protect my DD from the things I had as a child as it really made me miserable And I really hoped breastfeeding would have helped me

I feel let down and I feel I've let DD down too(It doesn't help that DH is v healthy and had no health problems as a child - whilst he said to me that I shouldn't feel guilty and it's not my 'fault' I honestly feel in his heart he blames me )...

This has really hit me hard...

[MarsLady]

He doesn't blame you. The LO won't blame you! And you shouldn't blame you!

The fact is that babies pick up all sorts from all sorts of places. You did a fantastic job bfing your wee one. I fed each of mine to 18months. 3 of them got wee eczema patches. I simply used Aveeno lotion and tried not to worry. Fortunately none of mine went on to develop more ezcema. I did find that during the winter the 3 that had had it got some dry patches. I treated them then ignored them. Hopefully all your wee one will have is some "baby" ezcema.

In the long run though....... be proud of what you accomplished with the bfing. Enjoy your wee one and know that we know so much more about ezcema than we did 20 or even 10 years ago.

[vnmum]

dont beat yourself up about this. i too am breastfeeding, DS is 1, and he too has excema and food allergies. i have a history of hayfever and excema and i too went through a stageof thiunking what wasbthepoint as BF was meant to prevent this but i have got so much myself out of BF and have such a close and wonderful relationship with DS that its still worth it. i now think that if i hadnt Breastfed then his allergies could be worse. he does fight colds off very quickly, when he gets them, he's only had 2 or 3 in a year so i know his immune system is good.

just think of the positives if youy can and cherish the closeness you had while BF your child

[laundrylover]

It sounds to me like you enjoyed bfing if you didn't really want to stop so is that not enough? My DD1 has eczema and was bf until 8 months and DD2 now has it on her face at 8 months - still bf. For me bfing is about ease/bonding/cost and basically just 'why ever not'??

I do understand a little of what you are feeling - my friend's bfed baby is very allergic food wise and has been hospitalised twice - she is blaming herself too. However, if you had bottle fed would you not be blaming the formula just as much?

I hopethis makes a bit of sense. You did the best for your child and you did it well. Little is known about the increase in allergies etc. and your DH needs to be a bit more understanding if he really does blame you.

[MarsLady]

Oh and some babies have to stop breastfeeding because of allergies to the milk.

Hope I helped a bit!

[laundrylover]

BTW I was bfed and am on the obese scale but I don't blame my mum.

[Twohootsunderthemistletoe]

Thanks ladies - I did enjoy breastfeeding and the closeness we had but initially the main reason I did it (and really found it hard and persevered with it through a lot of problems) was to try and prevent health probs.

Have to say don't think DD's immune system is that great - she always seems to catch bugs before the other kids do

The only positive I can see right now is there are a lot more kiddies with asthma/eczema these days unlike when I was little and I was pretty much the only one in the class and found it horrible - teachers didn't understand etc and were awful as a result.

I really would like to find someone who breastfed and who has/had health issues themselves and their LO doesn't though.... Does anyone really exist? And yes, I suppose you could say their health probs could have been worse if you formula fed but you'll never know.

I just wonder about the stats tbh (and don't get me wrong I am an advocator of breastfeeding!).

[tiktok]

I wouldn't bother being a breastfeeding counsellor if I thought it was solely about getting healthy milk into babies....it's about relationships and mothering and women just wanting to do it, not because they have made a rational decision that it's better (which it is , of course!).

Your dd may not have asthma - you say yourself it's only 'possible'. If she has, then she may not have it as bad as if she hadn't ben bf....no one knows. The research on asthma and allergies is among the weakest of the health research and there are far more stronger links than asthma. But if you are looking for 'proof' that breastfeeding will affect an individual baby one way or another, then you won't find it. Health and outcomes and cause and effect don't work like that. The man who smokes 60 cigarettes a day and then has lung cancer - you can't 'prove' his smoking 'caused' it.

You haven't let your DD down - not in anyway at all. You feel let down by bf - but you must have (surely) bf for other reasons than asthma? There are a million to choose from! The one which you might find powerful because it's about you and not your children is that the longer you brestfeed, the lower your risk of breast cancer.

[laundrylover]

Sorry Twohoots, can't help you as DP and I are both from dry skin and hayfever ancestry.

[Twohootsunderthemistletoe]

Tiktok - think our posts crossed. I did initially breastfeed (and persevered through a few problems) really for the health benefits but soon got to realise the closeness it brought....

Yes I do feel let down by breastfeeding as a result (which I know you probably think is barmy - as it probably is lol but it's just the way I am feeling right now), however, given my time again I wouldn't change the way I fed her

[tamum]

The other problem, in addition to the points tiktok has raised, is that things like asthma don't have a straightforward inheritance pattern. There are controlled by many genes, so you will never know whether your dd would have been worse if you hadn't breastfed, or whatever. Similarly if someone on here said oh yes I had eczema but I bf my child and they haven't got it then that would actually be almost as likely to be because their child had a "better" combination of genes. I also honestly don't think there's much evidence that bfing to 24 months, for example, is better than 15 months wrt allergies.

[ProfYaffle]

I bf dd until she was 13 mo and she now has mild eczema but only in the winter and it's mostly kept under control with E45 cream and stuff in the bathwater. I like to think it's baby eczema and perhaps it would have been much worse if I hadn't bf (severe eczema runs in my family, I haven't got it though)

As others have said though, it's not just about the health benefits. I'm pg again and will be bf this lo as well.

[mawbroon]

Everyone in our household (me, DH and DS 13months)is currently in the middle of a really nasty d&v bug. I am still b/feeding ds and he is just a bit off colour with one runny nappy a day whilst DH and I have been knocked out by it. DS caught this off one cousin who caught it off another. The first was bottle fed and was really ill with it for 3 weeks, the other has recently stopped being bf and has so far been fairly ill (but nowhere near as bad as cousin 1)for 10 days and my ds is as described above. I know that it is not proof, but I am convinced that were he not breastfeeding, he would be much much worse.
And remember that the advantages are not just for your LO. You probably will never know if you have reaped any of the health benefits yourself from breastfeeding, but you certainly would not have done if you had bottle fed.

[MerryChipmonkAndAHappyNewey]

I am still bfing ds3 23 months and have to say that he is rarely ill.
When ds2 was a baby his creche gave him a bottle of formula even though I had left in a bottle of EBM(grrr!) and he did get a rough rash which my GP said was excema. After that, I was careful to only give EBM and he never got the rash again even after I gave up bf at 1 year.
A friend's ds1 who was ff had severe exzema which resulted in her having to stop working as creche staff were unable to give the time to look after him properly. She was advised to bf her ds2, whicj she did till he was 3, and he never developed exzema.
I think in some cases, it might not entirely prevent allergies but probably lessens the severity.

[foundintranslationnothere]

I have asthma (now disappearing but moderate to severe throughout childhood) and dh has allergic tendencies. Am still bf ds, who is 18 months now, and she as yet shows no signs of asthma or allergies, and has never actually been ill beyond a slight cold a couple of times. I do attribute at least some of this, e.g. his good immunity - but not necessarily the not having asthma - to the bf (although he was mixed fed for his first 4 weeks, excl bf thereafter to 6.5 months).

Don't forget that you did incredibly well to bf to 15 months, particularly if you had to struggle through problems. As others have said, there is no way of knowing what would have happened to your dd healthwiseif you had bf longer or not bf at all. But those 15 months will have done your dd good in all sorts of ways.

[PinkTinsel]

i'm sure it's been said but 'YOUR HUSBAND DOES NOT BLAME YOU!'. you did an extraordinary job feeding her and have you ever wondered how bad she might have been if you hadn't? bfing might not have kept her asthma and eczema free but i'm sure it helped. and besides that, even if it did nothing nutritionally for her (which it did, but even bm isn't a magic cure-all elixer) you gave her comfort and love in the most natural way and i'm sure made her very happy, and i'm sure you have some fond memories too.

my dd was bf til 12 months, her dad has severe asthma and eczema as well. she has a mild patch of eczema on the back of her head and some food intolerances. i don't accuse bfing of not curing her, i'm grateful that i'm sure she's not as bad as she might have been had i bf.

[PinkTinsel]

'i'm grateful that i did as i'm sure she's not as bad as she might have been had i bf.'

preview pink, preview!

[PinkTinsel]

anf bf should obviously read ff..... [sigh]

i give up!

[sunnysideup]

twohoots, everyone has said it all really - I agree that you just may not know how bad your dd would have been without being breastfed; it WAS worth it I am sure.

But I wanted to say that I do understand your frustrations and I do understand how hard it has hit you...my ante-natal friends (2 of them) breastfed while I (not through choice, had various problems and was v ill after a traumatic crash cs) formula fed ds....it just so happened that ds was a healthy, bouncing, contented baby who almost never went down with a cold; while my two friends struggled manfully to BF (one of them was feeding every two hours day and night for what seemed like MONTHS) and their children were unwell with every bug going......it's not always so black and white, the benefits but I still wish I had been able to BF and regret bitterly not doing so. Think how much worse you would feel if you had not bf; at least you have given dd the BEST start, even if the benefits aren't obvious to you at this moment.

Hope she is better than it seems at the moment; she may have it all mildly? Or not even have the asthma? x

[misdee]

right them ms Two Hoots.


My dd1 was breastfed for around 6 weeks. she had already presented with eczema by then, but it got steadily worse after i stopped breastfeeding. She has various allergies, asthma, hayfever and still has eczema at the age of 6yrs old.

dd2 was also breastfed for around 8 weeks. she presented with eczema at around 10weeks, but has no other allergies, though is sesnitve to elastic in knickers.

dd3, my little breastfeeding monster. stil lfeeding her 1 feed a day at 21months. has had a few flares on eczema. she has an allergiy to cats. thats it. no asthma, yet. My husband is the one with asthma, eczema hayfever etc. I truely belive that judging by dd3 skin now, if i hadnt breastfed her or just for the same amount of time, she would be a heck of a lot worse. i really do.

[throckenholt]

there is no way of knowing how your DD would be if you hadn't fed her for so long. You did your best for her - and she will have got a lot of benefits from it - but you wil lnever be able to quantify it.

So - just accept she is how she is, and you have given her a really good start.

Congratulate yourself.

[Twohootsunderthemistletoe]

Thanks for all your replies I hear what you are all saying but I just can't rationalise it right now I do think it's down to the 'mental scars' from my childhood which are associated with my asthma and eczema But you are right I can't blame bf'ing for not being the be all and end all elixir can I? And yes I did enjoy it and I'm sure DD did too - it's a v comforting thing for Mum and baby - like I said earlier I almost wish I hadn't given up so early as DD's lactose intolerance really came to light when I did.

On the upside, DD seems a bit better today although still a little wheezy so maybe the inhaler is starting to work? Or she is just generally getting over the cold on her chest herself.

Thanks again for taking the time

[kiskidee]

my dd is the spitting image of her dad. right down to her eczema. she is still bf at 19 mos. not one day have i bemoaned the fact that she is bf but still has eczema.

she goes to nursery full time from she was 20 wks old and is possibly the only baby there who has never had d&v or a course of antibiotics. And i am sure she's all the toys the others have and well as borrowed their dummies eventhough she doesn't have one.

the more i have learnt about the manufacture and marketing and risks of formula feeding, the happier i have become that i bf.

Of course, not meaning ot neglecting the list of benefits to myself.

[kiskidee]

she has chewedthe toys

[Pitchounette]

Message withdrawn

[MerryChipmonkAndAHappyNewey]

Just another thing, I am the only one of my siblings who gets cold sores and I am the only one who was not breastfed.