Feel like giving up on breastfeeding

[bearsarah]

My lg is 8 weeks, for the past 6 weeks she's struggled latching on and gets really frustrated, we took her to get tongue tie cut yesterday privately as NHS was going to be another 4 weeks. I hoped things would improve straightaway but there's been no difference so far. She was really upset afterwards and last night woke up every hour for a feed. She still wants feeding 12 times a day and each feed is such hard work, I'm exhausted and don't know how I'm going to carry on if things don't improve soon. Sorry for ranting but I had no idea breastfeeding would be so hard

[PrincessHairyMclary]

Has your hold and latching technique been checked?

Do you feed laying down and co sleep so you can doze off?

How is your let down? If it's very forceful she won't be able to latch on properly and you'll need to hand express some before she can.

Give her a week so she can get used to having the tongue tie cut. Are they sure they cut it sufficiently and that there was no upper lip tie as we'll?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

It can be hard can't it, but it should improve. Is there a Bfing Support Group you can get to this week? You may both need the latch checking now that she's had her tt snipped.

Have you tried breast compressions? This may help speed things up a bit

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Sorry, posted too soon. If you do want to give up, please call one of the Bfing Helplines. A BFC will be able to talk through your feelings with you and if you still want to give up, she'll be able to help you come up with a plan so that its easier for both of you. The last thing you want is mastitis.

Have you given her any pain relief? Sounds like she might need a dose

[youlemming]

We've been looking into getting our little ones cut and read than any improvement may take a week to be seen as they learn to use their 'new' tongue and it can seem like it's worse to begin with.

[NickyEds]

When ds had his tt cut he was much younger than your dd (he was 17 days-it's a disgrace you haven't been seen earlier) but it took a couple of days to notice a difference. The latch felt more comfortable to me (it had been agony with the tt) but the feeding was still very frequent until ds learned to "use" his tongue better. We had started topping up with f as he was losing weight and it took a few weeks to reduce the f. I set myself very small targets, so "I'll bf today" and limits "if it isn't better in X days I'll switch fully to ff". I bf him to 6 months but he was always mix fed (this was my choice).
Don't feel bad about it at all. Bf can be tough, breast feeding a baby with tt is very hard. It's only now I'm bf dd (7 weeks) that I've realised what "normal" (poor phrase but it's what I've found) bf is.

[mrstweefromtweesville]

OP, she 'should' be feeding every 20 minutes round the clock at her age, so going an hour between feeds means either you're very lucky or she's going too long.

That word 'should'. If mothers followed the baby and nature, and allowed unlimited access to the breast, the baby would root, latch, suck and probably fall asleep at the nipple every 20 minutes. That's ok. Its not a problem. Its hard to be touched all the time but you get used to it and after a while you wouldn't have it any other way.

But 'should' suggests that if you aren't doing that, you're doing something wrong. That's not what I mean. Think about it and see if it would help you in your situation.

[NickyEds]

sorry but I disagree with mrstwee-I think feeding every 20 minutes would be a considerable problem, not least that you both need to sleep at some point. Going an hour between feeds at 2 months is by no means unusual and certainly not too long for a baby that is feeding effectively. How are things today op? Is bf feeling any better?

[bearsarah]

She's calmed down a lot but latch still doesn't feel any better, she's still coming off a lot and clicking. Really hoping things improve soon. I'm going to the bf group this week so hopefully will get some help. I'm determined to carry on after my wobble the other day

[mrstweefromtweesville]

feeding every 20 minutes would be a considerable problem

It depends on your mindset. Breastfeeding isn't akin to having a meal, its akin to breathing. So when your baby is born, you put it to the breast and leave it (him/her) there until s/he walks away. That's the way it works. You don't think of 'feeds' at all, just of having your baby with you, like you have your arm or leg with you at all times.

[KirstyR89]

Don't feel embarrassed to switch to formula, you've done a brilliant job so far and I hope you get the help you need.

I had to stop breastfeeding because my baby needed feeding less then every 2 hours, and I don't think a baby should be crying that much for a feed that often. And I started to have dark thoughts. Seems silly now.

My first little boy was on formula from the day he was born and he was the most content baby you could ever meet.

Good luck xxx