How will I ever manage to reduce the amount I breastfeed..

[CantSleepWontSleep]

...when it seems to be all dd ever wants to do?!

I put solids in front of her and she mostly throws them bit by bit onto the floor (we have an odd good day or week, but generally I prepare good food and then have to sweep it up with dustpan and brush - might as well just chuck it straight in the bin). We're doing blw because she flatly refuses to let me feed her.

I know that milk is supposed to be the main form of nutrition for the first year, but I just can't see her suddenly changing her mind about what she wants just because she's had a birthday.

She's very active (cruises and walks with a walker all day long) so obviously needs a lot of food to keep her going. We seem to be breastfeeding at least 10 times a day at the moment.

She won't drink more than a couple of sips of anything from a cup - when I went to the meet up on Saturday (first time I'd been apart from her) she refused her bedtime milk from dh so had to go without any. She can drink from her cup though, as she did take some formula from it a few weeks ago when she was ill and had pretty much exhausted my supplies after throwing up her entire syomach contents 6 times.

Part of me would love to carry on breastfeeding for a lot longer, as we both enjoy it, but it's starting to feel like a chore sometimes now (and having just got her first tooth she's started biting which I'm not enjoying), and it seems wrong that it's the only way I can make her happy when she's having a whinge. I'd like to be one of those people that manages to just bf 3 times a day.

I have no idea how we'd go about weaning her off the breast even if we did decide to stop, since she won't drink from the cup, and I can't get anyone else to try and feed her on a regular basis as dh is only here at weekends.

Sorry for long ramble - just wanted to get it all down in one go.

DD is 9 1/2 months btw.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

DS was like this.

He would not drink from a cup, not eat solids, not sleep etc etc.

However, he would drink from a cup if a) he thought I wasnt looking and b) if he thought he shouldnt have been ie because it was DD's drink or something. Am still b/feeding him now (he is 19 mths) but only really twice a day, sometimes just once a day. I had to be very relaxed about his eating (which was v hard for me and i stil struggle when he starts to throw it around or rub it in his ears or something).

He didnt start eating solids properly until he was just gone 12 mths, and he still has his moments now.

Its tough, and its hard work, but it will come right in the end. Try and relax and enjoy it - not easy I know.

[Tatties]

Oh love! I can really sympathise. My ds has always been an avid breastfeeder and I could never envisage the 3-feeds-a-day scenario either. He didn't really get into solids until after 12mo, even now (19mo) doesn't have a huge appetite and still likes to bf a fair bit. Your dd will get interested, just keep offering food and eating with her.

We have had a few 'biting' phases; it mainly happened when he wanted to let me know he'd had enough or when he was teething. I would just take her off every time she does it, and try not to react too much. But it did pass, and I can't remember the last time he bit me.

If you do want to carry on, I think there are ways you can gently nudge her towards feeding less frequently (haven't tried myself though.) Bf a toddler can feel draining at times but it is a really good parenting tool to have at your disposable past the first year.

Have to go and put ds to bed (with my norks ) but will check back later

[CantSleepWontSleep]

Thanks ladies - sorry had to dash off and do bath and bedtime, and then dh arrived home from his travels.

It's good to know I'm not alone in this, although not so good to know that your boys are still a bit fussy even now!

Tatties - what are these methods of nudging her towards feeding less frequently - all tips gratefully received, tried or not!

Can you also both tell me if your boys wanted to bf more when they were teething? Not sure if that's the reason for it at the moment, or if this is just going to continue indefinitely.

[CantSleepWontSleep]

Bump for more sympathy/suggestions/encouraging stories!

[Quootiepie]

DS was like this, but suddenly cut back about a week ago. TO be honest, I think it was him getting the hang of solids... he went from feeding every 1-3 hours, to 2-4...and the other night went 6!!! Alot of his feeds were not really nessisary (sp?), more habit... so when he cries, I try other things for a little bit first, rather than just feed him.

[Quootiepie]

he loves his water aswell, so has a good few big sips at meals... I think that helped.

[Quootiepie]

oh, and when he bites, I stop feeding now (otherwise he'll just bite and bite!) until he cries for more... 99% of the time, hes finished when he bites.

[CantSleepWontSleep]

Oh I've tried distraction believe me! I can delay the inevitable for about 15 mins with a plastic finger of bonjela at the moment!

I thought dd had got it a couple of weeks ago, as she suddenly started eating loads, but it only lasted a few days, so think it was just a growth spurt (and she still bf for hours at a time during that too!).

[suburbanjellybrain]

Yep I have been there and am back there LOL!!

DS now 27m was a right pain with solids and as he was my first baby I stressed and panicked for ayear - he didn't take to drinking from a cup well at all - I managed to cut out the lunch feed by going out everyday and keeping him occupied but he wouldn't take much more than a sip of water until well into 10months - he took to cows milk ok after 1yr but i breastfed till 22m by then only last thing at night and in am.

dd now 7.5m (and on my lap so scuse one handed typing - is taking v well to solids and will drink from a cup but i haven't dropped any feds yet - she is hungry baby and bigger than her bro was at same age - so i think she will cut down when ready not before - but i am more relaxed about it this time. she has 2 teeth and only bit me when they first came through not now so that will improve - but she does squeeze me when feeding as if to get more out - which is painful but quite amusing at the same time so my advice is relax - and go out at lunchtimes

[suburbanjellybrain]

also i do think bf'ing is a comfort/ pain relief for teething so i guess that is why i am stuck to the sofa with her right now as her right cheek is glowing an almost neon red!

[CantSleepWontSleep]

Thanks sjb - Am going to hope it's just teething related at the moment then.

I try to avoid taking her out over lunchtime - the mess she makes is frankly embarrassing!!

[terramum]

9 months is usually a growth spurt time btw.

[Tatties]

TBH I would try to go with what your dd wants as much as possible for the moment. When she is a bit older, if you still want to reduce the feeds, and if she is eating more solids, maybe you could try to only feed in the house in a particular room or chair. The idea being that over time the child only asks to bf when you are in the appropriate place, so you have a bit of control over it. I think NQC has said before she did this? Also just keep offering a cup of milk with no pressure, one day she might decide she wants some. Recently ds has been curious about milk in the fridge and has wanted to taste some!

How do you feel about carrying on bf? I have no idea how I'd go about weaning ds either - but I'm happy to carry on so I don't worry about it. It might take the pressure off to just accept that she is going through teething/growth spurt atm, and review the situation in a couple of months. See how you feel then. Things may have just settled down by themselves.

[Jelley]

Hi csws.
It's reassuring to hear the biting may be teething related. (We had one really bad night of biting just after his first two came through on the same day, but no more yet).

My only reduction method is going out. If we are very busy, he goes til 2pm before wanting a feed, and then I bf and skip lunch altogether. If we are home, he often wants his feed at 11, then lunch, and another fed at 2!
I guess you would be happy with even that as you are feeding her more, but your dd is sleeping through, while ds is still getting feed(s) in the night, so she probably needs more in the day to keep up. If you stop her, you may find she wakes again.