Help needed desperately bf 15wk old

[SuseB]

Long - sorry. I am at the end of my tether with my DD's feeding issues.She has never been an easy and relaxed feeder. I have battled through poor latch, engorgement, fast let-down and colic etc and have got to 15wks exclusively bfing. She is not gaining weight very well - she was 6lb 9oz at birth and at 15 weeks was only 10lb (having lost 4.5oz since the week before). In the last two weeks feeding has got more and more difficult. It's not helped by the fact she has been ill with a cold/virus, but the underlying problem has been there since before she came down with the illness. Currently, if she latches on at all, she will suck for a while, sometimes past let down, and then pop off the breast writhing. She'll often arch her back and scream - sometimes won't even let me get her into bfing position, even though she's obviously hungry. Sometimes I get some milk into her by changing position, walking around, bouncing on the ball - sometimes we have to abandon the feed. I try calming her by having her suck my finger (which she does fine) and putting her back on, and it sometimes works. Feeding her when she's drowsy seems to work but it relies on me catching the exact moment. I've had her seen by the doctor to rule out ear infections etc, and I've consulted the health visitor (who is pretty good, mum to 3 bf children). I've also spoken to an NCT bf counsellor. None of this has really helped and I'm getting worn down by the effort of feeding and am really demoralised after each bad feed. I don't want to wean early and I don't want to switch to bottles/formula. She currently won't really take a bottle anyway and I'm trying to avoid it while I fix the bfing. Fixing the bfing is what I'm really desperate to do. Anyone got any advice? I'd travel to attend a bf clinic if anyone knows of a good one - I'm in Derby. Any help much appreciated.

[Kidstrack]

sorry don't want to ignore your post, but someone will be here soon to help i'm sure

[Kidstrack]

Someone?

[lulumama]

suseb....don't give up on bf if not ready to...

has your baby been investigated for silent reflux...?

my nephew had it and fed a lot, but hard to settle, screaming a lot...hard to get to sleep,,needing to feed a lot , but not seeming satisfied.....

he had silent reflux and with medication, was then much easier to feed and settle..

this might be a possibilty if you have seen a bf counsellor and all is well with the latch etc....

maybe a trip to the docs ?


sorry not to be of more help..hang on in there...lots of fab support here for breast feeding mums.....xx

[lulumama]

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for tik tok or mears if you are around.....

[munz]

possibly she has a bit of wind? have u tried winding when she's like that (althou I suspect u have) wouldn't recommend weaning as I don't think the amount of milk's the issue here, have u looked at teh kellymom website? I found that fantastic, hopefully tiktok will come along soon as she's a BF councillor.

[tiktok]

Suse, well done for having got this far....I agree with your own suggestion of going to see someone, but I don't know of bf clinics in Derby....try calling your maternity unit and asking, maybe?

Your baby sounds uncomfortable - sounds as if she wants to feed but somehow it doesn't feel right to her. I don't care for the over-diagnosis of reflux that is being thrown around a lot these days, but I do think reflux exists, and your baby may have it.

The cold will not have helped (was it this that led to the weight loss, do you think?) and maybe she still has a bit of a bunged up nose.

There's lots that could be going on. You do need to see someone who can watch you feed and take a full history. I hope someone can recommend somewhere or else you find somewhere yourself.

I would also suggest calling NCT again - explain what happened when you were in touch before didn't help much, and the counsellor or her colleagues can have another think.

[mrsmaddyd]

Sounds like my baby he is 12 weeks nearly. I took him to an osteopath which has calmed him a little and hew also has infant gaviscon for his reflux. Good luck i hope things get better for you. Well done in getting to 15 weeks exclusive feeding when you have had it so hard.

[blueshoes]

suseB, just wanted to congratulate you on persevering with bf-ing for as long as you have inspite of your difficulties. Well done.

Is your dd like this at the start of every feed, even when she should be hungry eg just waking up without having fed for a few hours? If my dd/ds were truly hungry and calm (eg at the start of the day), they usually sucked well.

If they did what you described, it could be they weren't really hungry, and wanted to look around instead (esp when they get over the sleepy newborn stage) - hence walking around, jigging for say, 15 min, would calm them down. Alternatively, they could be having gut issues, like wind, spit up or building up to a big poo, which a feed could stimulate by getting the gut moving. Try sitting upright or putting over shoulder and burping. Or, esp late in the day and in a chaotic environment, they could have got hysterically tired and over stimulated and needed to calm down before nursing down. I just put ds in a buggy and wheel him around in the house to soothe. A sling might also work or rocking in a dark room.

Sorry to not be of much help. It's confusing and frustrating, isn't it. I just do it by trial and error.

BTW, the weight gain sounds respectable. Is your dd slipping down the percentiles? Also the fact that she lost 4.5 oz does not seem significant esp since she has been poorly. It is scary how much weight babies lose when they are ill.

Hopefully, someone like tiktok can come along and shed more light.

[blueshoes]

oops, tiktok has already spoken, thnx

[SuseB]

Thanks for the replies so far. I do think it was the cold that has led to the weight loss as for the two weeks prior to the cold she had gained 6oz and 4.5oz, which I put down to my having tried breast compression that I investigated to combat the poor weight gain. I've been on kellymom and spent a lot of time looking at Dr Jack Newman's site and book - he is excellent, I have even emailed him, but as you say I think I need to see someone who can observe the feeding and take a history. I will call the maternity unit and ask about a breastfeeding clinic and I will call the NCT again although this was not helpful before. I have tried winding her (endlessly) and to be honest although she has wind it seems to be unrelated to this feeding problem. I will look into silent reflux - she certainly isn't vomiting a lot. Thanks again.

[Wags]

SuseB, so sorry to hear about your hard time, but well done for persevering. I had a lot of problems with colic/fast let down with both my DD and DS. My DS sounded very similar to your DD. He would start to feed OK, then milk would really start to flow then after a while he would pull off, completey arch and scream for England. It was the arching that made me also think of silent reflux, he was never sick but he was gaining weight excessively as well, which was obviously good and a lot less worry for me than you have. I had a friend who was fab at winding him and that really helped. She would sit him on her lap in an upright position and rotate him from waist up in a circular movement a few times. Then pick him up and hold him under his arms with his legs dangling and sway him too and fro gently. It worked a treat and this did help slightly. When the arching started I would do that and it would calm him and then I could start again. I still think it was the fast let down that caused a lot of problems. Have you tried expressing a bit off just by hand before she feeds? The only other point I wanted to make is that when he was 14 weeks I got very bad shingles in my face/eye. The pain from that and high blood pressure that also came meant that I had to stop bf for a week so I could take various drugs. I carried on expressing and continued bf after the week as normal, but at that point he had started to improve with his feeding. When he went on bottles/formula for a week (my frozen supply lasted 2 days!!) he went back to being a complete nightmare. Just like he had been at 8 weeks or so, really screaming, really unsettled, really awful. So try and comfort yourself at the moment that you really are doing the best thing for your DD and that bottles/formula could make the problem worse.

[SuseB]

Just bumping for the weekday crowd. I have made an appointment to see the GP this morning and am going to insist on some sort of referral - either to a paed or an infant feeding advisor. DD has been having problems with her feeding all weekend and it can't go on! She is ok for the first feed of the day but then something happens and it gets worse and worse and worse. This morning I fed her at 5am and she had a good long feed on both sides, only popping off a couple of times, then she has had nothing until gone 8.30am, at which point she was crying throughout the feed, pulling off, and wouldn't suck well at all. In the end we abandoned the feed but I'm sure she is still hungry - she is keen to latch on, pulling at my jumper etc, but then pops off screaming after one suck. I'm sure this gets worse throughout the day as she gets hungrier. The other thing I realise I've not mentioned is that she is an excellent sleeper - she's been sleeping through since 8 weeks and now sleeps from 8pm till sometime between 5 and 7. She is not hard to settle to sleep, but does seem to sleep better when the feeds have gone well.