Night weaning isn't working on my 12-month-old... Is he not ready?! Help!

[Nickname1980]

I posted here before about how my little one is a bit of a milk monster. So I decided to night wean him (cold turkey - no milk between midnight and 6am. I know that's not amazing but it would be sooo much better than before!).

But it's been a week of this night weaning now and he just cries on and off between midnight and 6. It's hell! I have him in bed with me as I haven't done cry it out with him and am not keen to.

We've both got a bad cough and conjunctivitis at the moment too. I can't recover because I don't get proper sleep... He's miserable all night. I just don't know if it's worth it when a feed would just put him back to sleep again instantly!

Anyway. I'm wondering if he's just not ready to night wean?! If he hasn't improved after a week, perhaps that means something...

Anyone had any similar experiences?

Or how long did it take you to night wean your one-year-olds?

Or did anyone's toddlers just get there on their own?

[NickyEds]

It took us a few days at 11.5 months ish to night wean ds then a few more to wean him off rocking to sleep (we did a version of cc our way). Is he bf? Have you/would you try putting him into his own bed? I'm guessing it's much harder to night wean if you're "right there" reminding him of milk so to speak. The theory is that at one, if they're getting enough food during the day they should be fine without at night (I was told it was late at 11.5 months) and in fact too much milk at night could affect daytime eating. It sounds more like a sleep issue than a hunger issue. My sister's children just got there on their own but were still in her bed waking several times during the night well after 2, although I'm sure some get there earlier!

[JADS]

Is there a dh or dp in the picture? Could they do the night waking for a bit? This would help you sleep and ds would realise there was no milk to give.

Or maybe just accept that he isn't well this week, feed him for comfort until better and then go back to the cold turkey approach? I have never really co slept with either ds but will have them in bed with me when ill for a night or 2.

[Nickname1980]

Crikey NickyEds, just after two! I am not up for that!

He isn't breastfed anymore, I stopped a month ago, but that's where his feeding comfort habits come from, I think. He'll easily drink 7 ounces overnight.

I think you're right JADS, my DH may have to do the settling. Trouble is, our little one is mostly in our bed. But I think I'll wait until his conjunctivis and cough clears up and try again. I'm so tired I need it to work!

I was really hoping that cold turkey would just take a few days... Maybe it will when I try again soon!

[Showy]

It would have been far too early for both of mine. They both needed milk overnight at that age. I was happy to co-sleep though and a quick feed got them back to sleep easily. They both weaned off night feeds with no fuss or upset when ready.

If you really need to stop the night feeds then I think at that age, it's certainly possible but you're right to rethink while he's ill. There's no point doing any sleep training with a poorly child.

Best of luck.

[Nickname1980]

Thanks Showy - I abandoned night weaning last night and we both slept the best we have in ages! What age did yours wean off with no fuss?

[Scotinoz]

I night weaned when my DD was about 8 months (it's what we're told to do where I am, plus she had slept for a decent chunk overnight so we knew she could). I just stopped feeding between midnight and 5am. It took probably a week of hard work, then we stretched it from 11pm til 5am, then it just sort of became sleeping 7pm til 6am.

I did have a sleep consultant help with resettling techniques which was great.

I reckon though, if you're both a bit poorly to abandon weaning 'til you're both 100% then having another go.

[np0502]

Hey Nickname1980,
If you want to get another opinion. My Instacare.com offers video consultations with health experts such as midwives, so you can see someone without leaving home.

[Nickname1980]

Thank you Scotinoz - a week was what I was expecting. I will give it another go when he's all better! I wondered about a sleep consultant. Would you share who you used?

Videos sound interesting np, I will check them out!

[Scotinoz]

My sleep consultant was lovely, alas she'll be of no use unless you're in Oz too.

Essentially, the advice for resettling at night was be firm and consistent. Let them grizzle and whinge for 20 minutes, but only cry for as long as you feel comfortable - 2mins, or 2 then 4 and up to 10 mins. Her recommendation was to use patting or stroking or something to calm then down, rather than picking them up straight away. She also said you probably see a big change after a few days, then it goes tits up for a few days, then it all goes good (which is what happened with us). We had some nights where our DD was awake for 3-4 hours but she's been pretty solid since about 11 months now.

Good luck - it's monster hard but I think everyone benefits from a full nights sleep.

[NickyEds]

I know! Dsis had three children in 4 years and it was like musical beds- 3 year old would get in with them, her dp would go to his bed, 2 year old would get in with him, he'd go to her bed.....all night long!
If it's any help I just felt ds was ready. Obviously being pregnant I was knackered and really needed it to happen, but if he hadn't been ready it would have just been a pointless exercise. He was self settling for naps and eating really well so we I sort of knew he could do it. When we did cc ds would stir and then cry. I went into him lay him back down and patted his back for a few seconds then left. Cue crying, left it 2 minutes then repeated. Left it four minutes and repeat. i couldn't leave him longer than 4/5 minutes so went and slept in the nursery (we are lucky that there's a bed in there), I went and lay him down intermittently and would say "sleep time now baby" so he knew I was there. I just refused to pick him up at all. It took just over 2 hours for him to go to sleep. The next night was quicker, maybe 20 minutes, the third night he slept through.