anyone decided not to breastfeed with no. 2 despite doing so successfully with no. 1?

[kalidasa]

Just wondering if anyone has experience of making this decision. Don't want to go into loads of detail/justification but for reasons related to both my physical and mental well-being I'm considering not bfeeding no. 2 (due in January) although I breastfed DS until he was about 9 or 10 months old (mixed feeding from about 4 months when I went back to work). My plan at the moment is to give it a go, but to try to be relaxed this time about stopping if it seems best. Anyone done this? How different was it? Did you feel bad about it or was it a better experience for you (or both)? I realise there are about a million possible variables here but just interested in experiences.

[skunkpixie]

Yes me! I breastfed DD1 for 22 months. She never had formula or a bottle as I was a complete pumping failure and could only ever get 10mls at a time while pumping so I gave up trying lol. I fell pregnant with DD2 when DD1 was 18 months old and weaned her off the breast in the 4 months that followed. I was very worried about how I would juggle breastfeeding a newborn with looking after an active 2 year old. I dedicated so much time to breastfeeding DD1 and in my heart new that I would find it too difficult doing the same thing second time around. So I made the decision to FF from word go and felt no guilt what ever as I knew it was the right decision for all of us. I then went on to have a 3rd DD (who is now almost 2) 15.5 months after my second DD was born and she was EFF too. I am now 24 weeks pregnant with twins (boy/girl) and FF still feels the best option, especially with a 2,3 and 5 year old. Xxxxx

[pixiemam]

Me! I am undecided. I breastfed exclusively for 2 years with no problem. I just can't make that commitment to number 2. I was ok with expressing but stopped early. I think I will bf until 8 weeks and then introduce expressed bottled milk. I want to go back to college next Year and would love hubby to do some feeds.

[nearlyreadytopop]

I bf ds1 until he was 15 months so I suppose that can be considered successful. He was tongue tied and every feed hurt, over time it became a dull managable pain so I was able to handle it. There were a lot of issues and I just would not give up. While I was ttc my next baby made a promise to myself that under no circumstances would I bf another tt baby. Currently lying here feeding a tt 9 week old baby and plotting how I'm going to give up and move to ff.

[kalidasa]

Thanks both! It is hard to find people to talk this through with. I did express a bit last time and didn't find it too difficult but my goodness I absolutely HATED it, felt it was all the worst bits of breastfeeding with none of the benefits, so I definitely won't be doing that again. Last time I found that though it did get easier after the first few weeks and did (eventually) stop being very painful (though only after quite a long time) I never stopped disliking it really. Also the breastfeeding hormones perpetuated some unpleasant physical symptoms for me.

[cleoteacher]

In exactly the same situation, due in feb and contemplating breast feeding or not. Finally decided to try but if it doesn't work not preserve like I did with dc1. However , I was not successful in bfing. I only managed four and a half months as I just don't think I had the supply. Ds dropped off the chart weight wise and despite often sitting and feeding for 45 mins+ at every feed he was still hungry and was loosing weight so odvisously wasn't getting enough. Tried expressing but could not get anywhere near enough out. Then ds began wiggling around on breast and not conforming so every feed was terrible with him and me crying and me dreading it beforehand. Yet I preserved determined not to give up when it was not right for me or him.

I just can't see how I can do that whilst trying to look after an active toddler. Bit worried about judgement from others but determined that if it's not right for dd or me I will not just keep trying again.

[Parietal]

me nearly. I bf dd1 for a very long time. she refused to take a bottle at 4mo and I found myself trapped, unable to work properly or go out in the evenings because she needed feeding. So for dd2 I did 1 bottle each day from 6 weeks, cutting down to bottles only by 7mo. feeding was easier second time, but having the option of a bottle made me much happier and able to cope.

[Turquoisetamborine]

I bf for 11 months. I found it easy especially at night not having to make bottles up. If we left son with anyone we would leave those cartons of readmade formula and my supply seemed to adjust well.

I'm due again in May and the thought of having to do it all again makes my heart sink. I'm planning to bf for a few weeks, possibly 6-12 but introduce a bottle of formula early on probably for the last feed.
Then give up all together by 3 months or at the most just give the first morning feed and a bedtime feed until 6 months.

I have no idea how practical this is but it sounds good in theory. I have a son to get to school now so can't be doing with marathon morning feeds. I have to say that he is so healthy though. He is literally never ill which makes me feel guilty that the next baby won't get that benefit. I hope three months will be enough.

[DragonsDontFly]

I'm in the same situation. Bf DC1 for well over a year. It was great and all, but such hard work. I just don't think I can do it again so im planning on ff after colostrum. I don't know if my nerve will hold or I'll bf out of some sort of guilt, but I know the easiest thing to do this time would be to ff.

[findingherfeet]

Me too! I BF DD for 7 months (establishing BF was horrendous but then became quite straightforward)

I was nervous about experiencing physical difficulties second time around but actually what I hadn't factored in was establishing BF (and second time round it was a lot easier) whilst looking after a 2 year old almost entirely alone due to hubs wok commitments was HARD work! Baby feeds took an hour and he fed every second of the day it felt! Fine with first as could hang out on sofa and just feed but trying to cook/clean/potty train/nursery early morning runs etc etc around constant feeds felt totally overwhelming.

I was surprised DD was fine with me holding him all the time (fortunate as this hasn't subsided) and play was fine as could play and feed but for me practical household tasks felt impossible and I panicked.

I stopped at 6 weeks, I half hoped bottle feeding would help with sleep but oh how wrong was I!! bF DD slept miles better!

No harm in trying, it might work out for you. To be honest I wish I'd carried on as I know it would have got easier but at the time I thought I was going to have a breakdown!!

[kalidasa]

Thanks all this is really helpful, great to get a range of perspectives. Makes you realise how much all the NCT etc info is aimed at first-time mothers and doesn't really offer much guidance for those weighing up the needs/demands of other children as well.

I am having a very complicated pregnancy (was in hospital all summer) and I am very disabled at the moment, which is only going to be worse by the time the baby is born. Realistically I am going to be quite disabled for quite a while after the birth and there's no way I could look after the new baby as well as toddler DS on my own so we are keeping our lovely nanny on through my maternity leave - I'll only be off for four or five months anyway. On the plus side, I suppose this means it will be easier for me to spend a lot of time sitting with DS2 establishing breastfeeding if necessary, but the hormones from the breastfeeding will slow my recovery physically - they did last time and my pregnancy last time, though horrendous, was not as bad as this one.

The other factor is that I had a very severe PND after DS1 and I have been advised by several HCPs to think carefully about breastfeeding - and especially the constant night-waking - from that point of view.

I think DH would quite like us just to decide against breastfeeding altogether, but I don't want to do that - partly because there were (occasional!) bits of it I liked, but also because DS did really love it - he was quite an anxious sort of baby and for the first few months it was the only thing he did seem to enjoy! He was so hungry all the time, quite jumpy/anxious, hardly napped at all even as a tiny baby and still doesn't really sleep through at nearly two, whereas I can see from plenty of friends/family that those early months can be a lot easier with a different sort of baby - if DS2 is a bit less intense and sleeps better, and my mood holds up better, it might all be a lot easier.

I will definitely be doing some degree of mix feeding from near the beginning though so that DH can share the load a bit and so that there's not a big trauma about switching to the bottle if my mood really slips and we have to prioritise my sleep for a while.

[nearlyreadytopop]

you have had a very tough time op and it's important to do whats right for you and the family. Have you considered a few days of bf so baby gets the colostrum and then a move to formula?
I hate how surprised everyone (hcp & friends) are when I tell them how difficult bf is and that im contemplating giving up. Everyone assumes you have done it before you will do it again. I feel like saying you take a piece of sandpaper to your nipples ten times a day and then we can discuss this .
No matter what you decide your baby will be fed and loved and thats what's important. good luck.