New mum Q... BFING "effortlessly" out n about?

[squizita]

I'm a new mum and (touch wood) my baby breastfeeds greedily and well, and I produce enough milk.
I have a bit of anxiety and have been advised to go "out and about" for fresh air and my psychological wellbeing.

Great except. .. I feed on demand by throwing off my whole top or even lying on the bed/sofa! Even the naicest BF friendly coffee shop would be !! Baby gets excited and waves her little arms before she latches, or grabs my nose or a nork. .. its all a bit comedic.

So you ladies who discreetly have boobs in one minute, and a little head there the next - I have seen you in Starbucks and I marvel!
Where did you learn those ninja skills? Or do I just have to brave it out and go through an awkward phase?

[TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals]

Could this sort of thing work? www.johnlewis.com/bebe-au-lait-breastfeeding-cover-chateau-silver/p231656524

I know some people are anti feeling as though they have to cover up but I didn't want anyone seeing my boobs in public, even if it is for a feeding purpose. Do you think your DD would mind it?

[FraterculaArctica]

How old is your baby? I think I fed more or less like you for at least the first 2 weeks, wore at most a t shirt on top - bras just complicated things. By about week 3 or 4, I was properly dressed again and feeding in coffee shops and even park benches. So don't over think it if you're in the very early days - you will get there!

[amy83firsttimer]

Sit in a chair in front of a full length mirror and try it a few times at home first. Two tops also seems a popular tip, one loose vest top you can pull down and another loose t-shirt you can lift out and put baby under.

[MsBug]

It comes with practice, honestly.

I used to wear a vest top underneath my top. When dd wanted feeding I would lift the top up, pull the vest top down to expose my boob, and latch her on.

After time you will be so used to doing this you can do it mid conversation, without looking down. It also gets easier when your baby gets bigger and has more head control and can pretty much latch herself on.

In the meantime I recommend a big floaty scarf if you feel a bit exposed.

[squizita]

Thanks guys! She's a week so FX it will develop. I have loads of scarves and vests too.

[hideandsqueak]

If the two tops doesn't work for you I quite liked the feeding tops you can get from H&M that allow you to just poke the nipple out so baby can feed and nothing is on display and your tummy is covered and the top half of your boob as well. I think the smaller the boob the easier it is to be discreet. Congratulations!

[Imeg]

If you are feeling nervous about feeding but need to get out, maybe go for a walk in between feeds? Or go somewhere in the car and pop back to the car to feed? Is expressing and taking a bottle an option? I used to do this on the odd occasion I was doing something where I didn't feel able to breastfeed. Took a while for me to get the hang of expressing though.

[squizita]

I think I'm going to bite the bullet and get my mum to be there for moral support, go out at a time when she'll want a snack boob at most with a scarf! Know some places full of mums, so if she's a bit uncooperative at least the other customers will be un- phased! !

[3boys3dogshelp]

Good luck op! Just go for it and you will be fine. If it makes you feel better I have fairly big boobs and I have flashed at most people I know ;-). It gets easier the more you practice.

[IHeartLockhart]

I always try to find a corner table so that I'm not sat out in the open. Wear layers, eg a little vest top with a loose-ish top over that you can easily hoik up. That way your tummy and boob stay covered. I usually reach in and unclip my bra andpull it down so boob is out but still covered by my top, then I can lift DS and quickly pop him on by lifting my top for him.

She's probsbly still a bit small for you to find it effortless yet so don't worry if it takes a while. Have you got a cushion or something you could easily take with you to help prop her up?

[Allisgood1]

I second the h&m tops. Brilliant!

[EvilRingahBitch]

Watch With Baby showings at your local cinema are good for practice - the lights are low and half the audience will be bfing.

[nevergoogle]

Mastering discrete breastfeeding with a one week old is beyond my skills I'm afraid. And I've breastfeed 3 babies now.

At one week, milk was squirting for quite a distance and baby was fussing, choking on the milk as i got the let down reflex and it was pretty messy.

You don't have to go out and about, it's not compulsory. But if you do, take lots of muslins, a scarf, a blanket to roll up as a cushion and find a quiet corner.

It gets easier though, and you will be discretely breastfeeding in no time. Well a couple of months. Good luck.

[Cyclebump]

I just bought some Vertbaudet feeding tshirts and they're fantastic for feeding. I'm a second timer but first time around I 'practised' public feeding. I went to the park and practised the whole, getting bra undone, boob out, baby on without a scene. Then I did it in cafes knowing I could manage it smoothly.

Definitely agree with posters who suggest getting the bra unclipped with top covering your boob before picking baby up.

I have big boobs, it's possible to be discreet even without a big cover thing.

[VioletWillow]

I use nursing tops, sometimes scarves and sometimes now she's bigger I just hitch my top up as she covers my tummy and keeps me super warm I practiced at home first and now just do it. If someone sees a flash of nipple well so be it! Most people don't even notice tbh. Find a corner, don't use a booth, try using your changing bag as a cushion if you need one, and stress not. Congratulations x 100 btw! I remember reading your journey and am so glad you're doing well with your daughter. Well done!

[squizita]

iheart Great idea re the cushion! :) Thanks!

[squizita]

Never unfortunately I know for my own mental health I do need to start leaving the house reasonably soon albeit for short journeys. It helps prevent intrusive thoughts and obsessing counting poo and wee so far thus week and I've been given extra mw visits as a precaution. I'm low risk but only if I'm sensible.
DH suggested going to mates houses, it's out and social but I can BF in a house -not my own - before a cafe or shopping centre.

[JassyRadlett]

Depending on where you live some department stores and shopping centres have feeding rooms which are great for building confidence. John Lewis put their ex-display glider chairs in theirs, bliss.

[PenguinsIsSleepDeprived]

A friend who has small kids, even better if they bf at all (as they'll remember the awkwardness), would be a great first trip.

Parks are also good as, away from the playground, you can normally find a quiet spot.

[RedKites]

You've had lots of good suggestions, and going to a friend's house is a really good way to start. If after that you feel happy to feed out and about then that is great. If you are still not sure, you could perhaps try feeding at a bfing support group as a further in-between step.

[Heatherbell1978]

I didn't feed in public until DS1 was 2 wks (now he's 5 wks) and I started by going to places I knew I'd feel ok like the parent room in John Lewis. I have a big scarf I've had for years that opens really wide so if all else fails, that scarf covers everything so I take it everywhere. To be honest when the baby is screaming for food, I tend to throw all 'giving a shit about bfing in public' out the window!

[bonkersLFDT20]

Dear me, I just got all teary reading this as I remembered my very first time BF in public. He's now a 6ft 15 year old, but I remember how I felt as if it were yesterday.

My advice would be to take someone with you. Apart from being able to help with blankets and stuff, you can chat to them as you're latching on and fiddling about rather than trying to see if the whole world is watching you (they're not BTW...and if they are it's probably delight in seeing a tiny baby) and going red and hot and sweaty.

It is a big learning curve, but honestly, once you've done it a few times you'll be a dab hand at it and be doing all manner of things one handed while nursing your baby.

I wish you the best of luck and really hope that getting out and about helps you, so you can enjoy your baby all the more.

[hollie84]

I found layering didn't work for me, I go with a button up top or wrap top so I can get a whole boob out, get the baby on and then I cover up the top part of my breast with a muslin (but not over the baby's head). I just concentrate on the baby so can't see if anyone is looking anyway (and they're not - if anyone notices you are breastfeeding they will do whatever they can not to look!) and don't look up til he's on and I'm all arranged.

[TwoLittleTerrors]

squizita so glad to hear bf is working well for you. I second what everyone says about practice. I don't think I mastered discrete feeding until maybe a month or two in. I have the Bebe au lait cover linked up thread and its really good. I used it for going out with male friends. I find it harder when they are talking to me to try to get breast out and feed.

Also have you heard of the breastvest? I haven't used them but they would make it easier as you don't need to pull the inner vest down.

Also agree with finding the bf rooms in town. Like John Lewis or mothercare.

Once you mastered it its very easy! It's just hard to get there second time round, I am finding everything so easy. Good luck.

[mangofizz]

Have you got a baby cafe/breastfeeding support group locally? You don't have to be having issues to go and they are great places to get confident about feeding in public