Baby won't settle at night after breastfeed(12 Posts)
Baby is 7 days old today, sleep and feeding going well for last 6 days until tonight. Been breastfeeding since 3am pretty much on the hour back to back trying to put down for sleep but baby crying uncontrollably. Eventually went out hot drive with partner at 9am had mcds breakfast and went for walk around local lake - baby fell asleep instantly in car and continued to sleep in pram. This lasted hour and half. Returned home to baby screaming again so tried changing and feeding again - still won't settle to sleep. Continued same pattern of breastfeeding until partner resulted in driving out with baby again and took to my mums (who is like a baby whisperer) to help. She managed to settle him to sleep in 30mins. Bt this time it was 10.30pm, partner returned home 11pm for me to breastfeed again, this time for an hour and tried to put down in bedside cot to still scream. Phoned labour ward in desperation - she suggested that I should feed from one breast exclusively as baby might not be getting the correct milk, plus some other suggestions already tried. It's now 1.30am and still screaming. Any ideas?
Is it wind? Has baby just realised he (sorry, think you said DS but I'm on a night shift and a bit durrrhh!!!) would prefer to be held than laid down?
Have you tried putting a t shirt that smells of you in the cot/crib/pram like a sheet?
My DS slept on me or next to me or my STBXH for the first 2-3 months.
Sounds quite normal for a week old baby.
Can you prop yourself up with pillows and keep baby upright asleep if when finally falls asleep you can keep on your chest when in light sleek, don't risk waking by putting down and get some sleep yourself? Baby is tiny don't worry about setting a precedent I have done this all mine in first few weeks. Baby on chest and loads of pillows under each arm stops you from moving/dropping baby. Baby will be overtired by now so try swaddling tightly and rocking, get some white noise play loudly (loads of apps available can get womb noise ones) and if anything drowns out crying for you. It's really shit but no baby ever stayed awake forever, the cluster feeding thing then screaming is v v normal and I usually found that by the time I got to the point of posting on mumsnet for help baby would fall asleep soon after.
Agree with above poster. I had to sleep propped up with both of mine too.
Also I found skin to skin instantly calmed them.
Sounds very normal unfortunately - at 7 days old babies do not have a clue about day and night all they want I'd to be held and comforted by their mother. The constant feeding is to establish your supply, the advice about feeding from one side seems odd to me. It is so, so tough in those early days but it does get easier.
Congratulations on your new baby!
I second sleepysheep. DS1 was a colicky premie & I would lay him on my bare chest after nursing & burping him then bind a sheet loosely about us both then prop myself with pillows. We would sleep, nurse, sleep in turn all the night through. I thought it would never end, then magically one night, it just did. Scared me spitless because we'd slept 3 whole hours instead of the usual 45 mins.
My mum is a baby-whisperer too. I remember DS1 screaming, me crying and Mum took him from me & he just hushed. I asked her when I'd be able to do that & she told me "When you're a granny, dear". It's the fact that they are calm & we, as new mums, are frightened and frazzled. Could she possibly arrange to stay with you for a few nights? My mum did and it really helped.
My dd was exactly the same, loved sleeping anywhere else except Moses basket! In the end I put my hospital nightie in her basket, and also propped her slightly upright with blankets, and tried laying her on her side. She then went from 11pm until nearly 5pm! Try something slightly different each night and you will find what works for you, persevere! I know it's hard and mumsnet was my saviour in those first few days, DD is nearly a month old now and still has her bad nights (last night was exceptionally awful) but were getting there and this is the 1st time she's woke up since midnight! Don't have your MIL to stay, she won't be there forever and u don't want your son to rely on her/car everytime he wants to sleep. Good luck! Xx
Agree with everyone else - my baby wouldn't sleep anywhere except in me or DH till about a month old. We had to do shifts overnight with her and then co-slept when he went back to work. It's really hard I know but won't lady forever.
As to feeding from one side, hopefully an expert like TikTok will be along soon, but I would suggest you ignore it - it's not good advice. If baby is feeding for hours on end it will be getting all of the 'right' sort of milk.
Congrats on your on baby.
I'm not tiktok but I wouldn't recommend feeding from just one side. Even a basic peer supporter course will cover that, and the whole fore/hind milk thing is a theory that's in doubt anyway. Although breastmilk does 'separate' and the fat comes to the top it only takes until you get let down for that to be mixed right back up.
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time of if. It can be frustrating and worrying when your baby won't sleep but it really is totally normal for them to need to be near you at this stage. Do you have a sling of some kind? That can be really calming for them and if you get your DH or DM on board they can sling baby while you grab some shut eye.
UNICEF produce safe cosleeping guidelines if that's something you'd feel comfortable doing. It's reassuring for them to be near you rather than a Moses basket, or the t-shirt trick might help. Another option is buying, hiring or borrowing a bedside crib. The NCT rent out bednests.
Is your baby generally feeding well? No pain? Plenty of dirty nappies?
I had to sleep holding mine that early on. Remember he has been in YOU for 9 months so you won't be able to just put him down on his own just yet.
Advice from maternity unit is very odd. They seem to think there is something wrong or odd with your baby's behaviour and it is NORMAL.
Feeding from one side deliberately is only ever appropriate if there is a clear case of over supply because it reduces the amount of milk made. This is normally not something you would ever do with a baby of such a young age.
Your baby is fine. Your milk is fine. The way you are feeding her is fine.
She is a week old and wants to stay snuggled into you, especially at night. This means she does not like being put down in a cot or crib away from you. It has nothing to do with you being frazzled and stressed. By the time she got to granny she was exhausted enough to drop off - that's the explanation for her 'magic'
Meeting the needs - normal needs - of a tiny baby for this sort of close contact needs creativity and support and t l c for you. It is a phase, it will pass, and you create a confident emotionally resilient baby who actually cries less later if you hold her when she wants to be held.
My 4 month old slept on my chest for the first week or two, and then in bed next to me for a few weeks before she was ok to go in a cot or basket at about 8 weeks.
Also they fed constantly, at least every hour or two and sometimes just hours swapping from one side to the other at that age.
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