Where oh where am I going wrong?(18 Posts)
DD is almost 14 weeks. We had a difficult start to feeding - poor weight gain, bad latch, thrush, pain and hideously cracked nipples - but she was finally diagnosed durn posterior TT at 11 weeks. Progress has been steady - weight gain is improving and I'm not in pain. She's gradually becoming a better feeder (she's EBF on demand) but as she takes more milk she's increasingly showing signs of reflux/silent reflux. She's sometimes screams at the boob but I can't always get wind up, sometimes will refuse feeds altogether though appears hungry, sick is always curdy and when she's not sick can sort of hear her swallowing it back down, goes from happy and chilled to total meltdown in an instant and appears in pain, often cries incessantly, and is increasingly unsettled overnight. Getting her to sleep in the day is an absolute nightmare, too - I watch for cues like a hawk and try not to let her go more than 90 minutes without a nap but still I'm lucky if she will do 60-90 mins during the day in total. I spend far far more time rocking, shush/patting, whatever than she does sleeping. She maybe will do about ten hours total overnight, usually broken by three feeds. So she's clearly overtired but whatever I do doesn't work. Buggy/car/sling work occasionally but aren't guaranteed. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm failing her. Anyone tell me where I'm going wrong? I'm at the end if my tether.
Sorry - loads of typos as I'm in phone and having a bit of a sob at the moment.
Sounds like it could be reflux. Take her to your GP and get some meds
Oh you poor thing. It does all sound suspicious for reflux. I'm no expert but my 6 week old LO is a bit like this in terms of the curdy vomits, swallowing back down etc. We've taken to propping her Moses basket up at an angle which seems to help a bit at night.
She's also not a good daytime napper- 45mins in the morning and MAYBE another in the evening with on the boob/in the buggy cat naps at best during the rest of the day. Everything I've read seems to say she should be sleeping loads more but I've taken a break from the endless "go to sleep" dance the past few days and I'm much less stressed (and she seems happy) just letting her carry on with her micro-naps.
In terms of your LO's meltdowns that does sound like reflux again so perhaps a trip to GP for trial of medication?
It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job in a difficult situation especially having persevered through those first few weeks. Bloody well done you. Your DD is very lucky to have you x
It sounds like my dd who was diagnosed with silent reflux and cmpi at 6 wks.
It was bloody hard, I used to sob and sob as she'd be inconsolable for 30-40 mins after every feed, and when it was 12 feeds a day and long ones (extra feeding for comfort) it was hideous.
We propped up the Moses/cot (as already suggested) AND changing mat (as she had so many nappy changes during feeds due to CMPI. Then went to dr, and we're given infant gaviscon which isn't easy to give to bf baby, but doable. It didn't work for us and we are on some other medication. As soon as this kicked in she's been so much better. The hiccuping, acid smelling breath, swallowing it back down etc has all gone.
She's 8mths old now and we've been able to keep bf, although I'm now dairy free.
But do push your hv and GP for help, silent reflux is hard to diagnose and I had to stamp my feet a lot to get listened to.
You are not doing anything wrong. I agree with the others it sounds like reflux, and it is horrible. My DS1 was a very easy baby
obviously due to my wonderful parenting and DS2 had reflux and was a nightmare, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't put on weight, screamed day and night....
I highly recommend the book Colic Solved despite stupid title, and the website Little Refluxers for advice on how to help.
We never cracked daytime sleep - concentrated on a rock-solid bedtime routine and trying to get a decent (broken) 12 hours at night, and settled for one lunchtime nap in the daytime which meant marching the streets with the buggy until he dropped off. A sling is a bit of a lifesaver in the day to allow you to get something done.
Thank you so much, made me cry a bit. Yesterday was possibly the hardest day with her yet. But I popped the head of her bed up and after three hours sleeping on me she did eventually go down in it for most of the night.
I've made an appt at the GP so fingers crossed I won't get fobbed off. Anything I should be highlighting or asking for in particular? Is it normal to have some days worse than others with SR?
Thanks so much. Don't know where us be without this forum!
The well known SR symptoms are hiccuping (dd groans or cried through hiccups sometimes). Coughing, smelling of sick (I could smell her acidic breathe through bfs) fussing during or after feeds. My dd would also massively comfort feed, we often had 4 hr feeds in between lots and lots of crying. Often gps will think Colic but this is different and crying tends to be later on in the evening and unconnected to feeds. Also crying when you lie them flat, whether in your arms or not.
What essentially happens with reflux (and sorry if you know this) but the stomach refluxes and the contents rush up to the mouth, it burns the throat and then they are sick. With silent, it goes back down, so burns on the way down too, hence the crying etc. Your baby won't lose weight as it keeps the food contents but it's two lots of burning. I found it very frustrating that GPs would say 'but she's thriving' I was tempted to chuck a nappy at them. My response would be, she may be putting on weight but there's something not right and I feel it might be silent reflux.
I was lucky that my hv had had 2 dcs with SR so spotted it early and was prepared to back me up if needbe, so I used her name and got an early diagnosis.
Often with SR it's trial and error. I'd request to try infant gaviscon and see what happens. I know lots of people that it has worked for.
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Thanks again all. Seen a slightly useless GP who said it was colic not reflux (I don't agree) and that reflux doesn't cause pain. FFS. But she gave me some infant gaviscon on which is the outcome I wanted so will see how that goes and if no joy I'll go back. (And see someone else!)
Anyone who did find gaviscon worked - how long to see an impact?
People I know it worked for said it worked almost instantly as it stops the reflux from happening. I found it hard to get into dd, she found it easier to take if I mixed with a little bit of expressed milk and syringed in her mouth, rather than water. Squirt in towards the inside of their cheek-I found this worked best for us.
If it doesn't get any better in a couple of days then go back. Best of luck that it works. X
Ps- Just in case it doesn't work. After gaviscon, my dd was put on losec mups which is an omnaprizole. This reduces the stomach acid, so stops the reflux too, but can take a few days to work as there's normally a bit of damage in their throats that needs to mend itself.
Pps...idiot GP. They really annoy me..
I've since met adults who have silent reflux and they've told me that they thought they were having a heart attack! No pain my arse!
Brilliant, thanks so much Tonic. I thought today was a better day but about 45 mins ago she pulled off halfway through a feed and has only just stopped crying because she's passed out on me. My poor girl - haven't even managed to get any gaviscon in her while I waited for the boiled water to cool. (Good tip about using expressed BM, sounds less faff than boiling and cooling water.)
Just to add to the information above. The next step after gaviscon is usually ranitidine, then omeprazole if that doesn't work. Ranitidine is a LOT more effective than gaviscon, and doesn't have the possible side effects of omeprazole, so if gaviscon doesn't work I'd ask for ranitidine next.
If your GP doesn't believe it's reflux she won't give ranitidine though any chance you can see a different GP next time?
Great thanks Mini - that will be useful to know if the gaviscon doesn't work. And yes, I'm at a big practice so can insist on seeing someone else. Like so much baby-related stuff it seems a bit hit or miss depending on who you see - had a nightmare getting anyone to notice DD's tongue tie so I'm sadly accustomed to having to push.
You MUST see a different GP. Gaviscon is a nightmare to give a bf baby and will just make the baby constipated.
Reflux meds (domperidone, ranitidine and omeprazole) can be given to non reflux babies for a short time with no side effects so they are definitely worth a try. They will make a massive difference.
Lots of gps mis-diagnose reflux and won't prescribe them, but keep insisting til they do.
These symptoms are treatable, believe me I had a different baby once we got the combination right.
I would also insist on a referral to a paed in case there is CMPI also (very common with reflux).
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