WTC.. I want to breastfeed but terrified

[mrsdicko90]

I'm waiting to have my coil out to start trying for baby number 3.

Iv decided I would like to try breastfeeding. I didn't even attempt with first two DC, I was young and daft.

I have a few questions..

What do you wear? I like to wear dresses and leggins, I'm a plus size girl,and I would be having my first csection.

I have big babies, will I constantly be feeding? Would I be able yo express for nighttime feeding?

Does it really hurt?

I'm worried about leaking everywhere!

What about sex, how do you not leak everywhere?

Sorry for the stupid questions x

[xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv]

For me it hurt at first. Get nipple cream the one in the purple tube and apply before baby arrives. Wish I did that!
I wear my normal tops and bottoms lots of cheap vest tops underneath so I can pull the best down top up.
Vest tops and shirts best tops and v neck or shirt dresses. Primark do cheap sports bras that are very stretchy which I prefer to nursing bras.
It takes agesssss to feed. Cuppa DVD and baby on boob. She's often on there sleeping!

[xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv]

And I only leaked for the first few months. They sell breast pads in boots tesco sainsburys etc

[spottydolphin]

you can wear whatever you like! i usually wear either a t-shirt and a cardigan for good coverage, or a vest top and normal top (pull one up and one down)

big babies don't need constant feeding. mine were all big and they didn't/don't feed any more frequently than any other baby, except ds2 but that's cos he was poorly.

milk production works on a supply and demand basis, so the more you feed the more milk you make. nighttime feeding is quite important, so in the early weeks at least you wouldn't really want to be replacing any night feeds with bottles unless you were getting up and expressing at the same time

it can hurt yes, but it isn't a given! i would say when it's going well it feels "strange" to begin with, but not painful. Pain is an indicator of something wrong with how the baby is latching on/transferring milk which, with the right support, can be changed

i didn't leak with my first 2 at all, but did a LOT with the next 2 for some reason. a good supply of breastpads is essential
it doesn't affect my sex life at all, but dp isn't weirded out by milk anyway so even if i was leaking away I don';t think he'd be bothered. i've never had an issue with leaking during sex though

absolute best thing you can do though, IMO, is find a local breastfeeding group to attend before baby is born. get the right support in place before you have your baby so that you have somewhere to go if you do end up having problems :)

[Seeline]

I bf both mine - yes, sometimes it does hurt, especially at the beginning, but you can get creams that really help.
Apart from a nursing bra (big boobs, that ended up very big!!) I wore my normal clothes. This was nearly 10 years ago and there didn't seem to be the fuss there is today over 'nursing' clothes. I found if you didn't make a fuss, no-one really noticed if I was feeding. I didn't really care if they did notice TBH!!
In the first few weeks it does feel as though you are feeding all the time, but it soon gets into more of a routine.
I never managed to express - didn't really have enough milk the first time round, and DD refused a bottle second time round so you can't always plan for these things.
I didn't really leak either time - I did use breast pads occasionally but had no real need. I don't remember sex being a particular cause of leakage
Good luck - I think it is so much easier than bottles, and it gives you a really good excuse for spending time with your lovely little baby

[mrsdicko90]

Thank you all. I developed postnatal depression with second DC. It was awful, and I never really
Held or played with him, he ended up very behind, but thankfully has catched up, and are closer then ever imagined. I'm hoping if I breastfeed it will help bonding ect. I know my sil breastfed and used to disappear upstairs even in her own home when she fed.

With me having a csection, how do you feed straight after? I know both DC had a bottle in recovery (forcep delivery).

[spottydolphin]

just tell them that you want to breastfeed and not to give a bottle. the nurse or your dp/dh can help position baby if s/he is ready for a feed while you're still being sorted out :)

[ExBrightonBell]

Answering your question about feeding after a c-section - assuming everything is ok within you and baby, you do skin to skin on your chest just like after a vaginal delivery. Baby normally latches on and feeds. Afaik, this can be happening whilst you are being sorted out after the c section. It doesn't take that long for them to do the stitching etc.

[cowbiscuits]

Definitely let your midwife know that you are keen to breastfeed and ask about breastfeeding support workers. My BF support worker was lovely and did a info session for pregnant women.

I managed okay, with no pain, and plenty of people do manage without problems, so it's not always hard, or something to be scared of. I know people who had difficulties and the lovely support worker came out to their house and helped them get latch and positioning right.

It's a lovely special time, but it's not the only thing that will give you a close bond. It sounds like the circumstances of your PND were what made it difficult to bond, not because you didn't breastfeed. I'm sure bottlefed babies get a close bond with their mums too. But it's really amazing when you've been doing a few months and your baby is thriving to know that you've given that baby every calorie, and every pound it's put on is made by your body.

It's also great when a baby is screaming, to be able to just pull your top down/up and plug them in, not have to wait to make up a bottle.

Clothes wise, layers are good. I never bought special breastfeeding clothes because I thought they were all ugly. I wore stretchy vest tops with loose tops over so you could pull the vest down and lift the loose top up, staying totally covered up. Or thin cardies and scarves. Dresses are a bit difficult unless they have either v low necks or crossovers.

Not everyone gets on with expressing. I found it far too much of a hassle, it took me ages. DS hated bottles. I only did it when I went back to work or if I ended up extra engorged for some reason. It just seemed unnecessary for us, it was so much easier and quicker just to breastfeed. Night time feeds were quick enough, since there was no bottles involved. I'd just pick him out of basket, sit up in bed with him, reading or looking on mumsnet, and it didn't take long. If you give expressed milk at night instead of breastfeeding you might find you get problems with being engorged and leaky since your milk production increases at night.

I'm feeling all nostalgic thinking about it. It's making me broody.

[ShineSmile]

I wear dresses that have an opening in the front. Picked up a few nice pieces in Mango, Primark and mamas and papas.

[hubbahubster]

I've had an ELCS with both DC. DC1 was FF - I lost a lot of blood, didn't have great support, was on a lot of meds... Didn't really produce much milk and felt a failure, but he's a super healthy chunky monkey boy now.

DC2 is EBF and two weeks old. It's been way easier, nothing to do with how she was delivered. In fact, having a section means you basically have to sit around for weeks anyway while you recover, so that gives you loads of time to get BF established! I lost a litre of blood this time and have still managed to BF successfully, DC2 is putting on plenty of weight and it's so gratifying to know it's all down to me and the huge bars of Lindor I've been scoffing

[Writerwannabe83]

How do we have sex??
That's the absolute last thing on my mind, lol

But seriously, establishing BF can be difficult and draining but it is so worth it in the end. I also had a CS and as has been said, due to the fact I was bed bound/housebound it gave me lots of time to focus solely on feeding. I also strongly suggest attending a breast feeding support group, I go to one every week and it has been a lifeline. It's so nice to be able to talk to other women who have the exact same worries and problems as you. Also, do not be afraid to ask for help if you need it, there is no shame in admitting you are struggling. I have phoned helplines, had peer supporters come to my house and visited breast feeding specialists because I was really struggling at some point. If it wasn't for their advice and support I'd have given up a long time ago.

[cowbiscuits]

I second the breastfeeding group- ours was called a "breastfeeding cafe". It was really a baby group aimed at mums who breastfeed with a BF support worker in attendance if you had things you wanted to discuss.

We talked about all sorts of things other than breastfeeding, it was a friendly place to meet, and for older babies to play. I made some really good friends through it.

[RiverTam]

breastfeeding cafes are excellent - unlike the midwives a hospital, the midwives who run these cafes are experts.

I wore a stretchy vest under a top - top up, vest down, baby on with minimal flashing.

It can take a while to sort out the latch, and sometimes in can hurt but that should pass. Bigger babies don't necessarily feed any more than weeny ones.

The ones thing I think is essential for successful bfing is support from your partner - they need to be 100% on board and be able to help/pick up the slack especially in the early days.

[Dontfencemein]

In addition to what others have said, make sure that you are clear in your birth plan that you want to breastfeed. Get some skin to skin contact with the baby as soon as possible after delivery, and if the baby cannot be on your skin immediately, let him have skin to skin with your partner. Try to get the baby on to your breast as soon as you can, and let him or her spend as much time there as possible in the first few hours.

I had a emergency C section and like Hubbahubster, lost quite a bit of blood, but those things in themselves should not stop you breastfeeding if you really want to.

Some positions are more comfortable than others after a C section, and it is worth thinking them through in advance. Feeding while lying down is one. The other is the rugby ball hold.

My DS fed a lot in the first few days, and once I accepted that this was normal, it felt fine.

Good luck