Evening routine unstructured, help!

(15 Posts)
Lostinspace1 Thu 05-Jun-14 07:34:01

My DS is 5 months. I have no idea how people say, 'well DS goes to bed at 8 and then dream feed at 11 etc' or 'I'm trying to bring DS bedtime forward by 10 mins every night' etc etc. How can people be so specific?

My DS is BF with a bottle in the evening as advised by HV. I wait for him to wake around 5-7pm and then start the bedtime routine, if you can call it that. Nappy change, then bottle, bit of play, then bottle or BF until he falls asleep. Trouble is he rejects the bottle and the whole burping process takes so long (he's had wind problems) that by the time he's finished it's 10pm. Sometimes I think he's waiting for 10pm to come along in order to sleep.

Do other people have this issue? How do they get their baby to sleep earlier?

I have my supper at about 5:30 so I'm not desperate and short tempered by the time he falls asleep.

Rachie1986 Thu 05-Jun-14 07:36:35

I could have written this!!

My dd is 5months too, bf in evening but will frequently feed as much as she wants until she's decided to sleep.. So there is no "last feed" time and I can't move it back 10mins as she just starts it when she wants.. Also can't get her down til around 10pm no matter what I try.

So no use to you, but sympathy and following!!

fledermaus Thu 05-Jun-14 07:39:23

Why did the HV advise a bottle?

My 3 month old goes to bed at 7.30 as that's when my older one does. I make sure she is awake from her last nap by 5.30, regardless of how long she's slept. Bath together at 6.45, get baby dressed, breastfeed, then into bed awake once she's finished that feed.

voodoochimp Thu 05-Jun-14 07:42:07

I generally have my DS down in his crib by 7. This is because I have an older DC to sort out as well who goes to bed at 7.30.

DH does his bath at 6.20 then I feed him and put him down.

Why do you give him a bottle if he's not keen?

dannydyerismydad Thu 05-Jun-14 07:44:47

I'm also puzzled by the bottle thing. It seems to be adding unnecessary faff into the routine.

Some health visitors are under the impression that a bottle fed baby will sleep better at night. Independent studies have found no proven link.

voodoochimp Thu 05-Jun-14 07:46:09

Oh and DS has his last nap on school run and wakes up about 4 ish. He's not allowed any more naps after this so is pretty desperate to get to bed come 7!

Lostinspace1 Thu 05-Jun-14 08:38:40

The bottle is because he was gaining weight too slowly in the early weeks so they recommended top up. Believe me I've tried to ditch it now that everythings ok but I feel a bit dry in the evenings and he needs a decent quantity to settle. I could probably give him that but over a longer period of time.

Last night he put up a fight so feeling fed up I BF'd him and then switched back to bottle. By this time it was about 9:45pm and he downed the bottle fast like he knew his bedtime was coming.

I think I will try to phase in BF completely. I wanted to EBF from the start...although bottle is convenient when out and about. Do other people feel dry and carry on regardless?

Last night he woke at 7. Should I try waking him if he does this to start the routine earlier?

fledermaus Thu 05-Jun-14 09:03:46

What is his usual awake time in the day? If he's usually awake for 2 hours at a time and doesn't wake til 7, then I'd say there's no point trying to get him to bed til 9.

If he usually falls asleep for the night around 10 now, I would either make sure he is awake by 7, have a couple of hours play time and then do a short bedtime routine from 9.15/9.30 to get him into bed by 10. Then you can try moving it forward by 10 minutes each night.

Or, pick a bedtime you are happy with eg. 8, wake him 3 hours before from his last nap, and then start your bedtime routine at 7.15/7.30.

If he doesn't like the bottle I would breastfeed at bedtime and do the bottle another time.

Lostinspace1 Thu 05-Jun-14 09:10:01

Oh goodness I couldn't say his awake times in the day as each day is different. The only form of pattern is that he's sleepy in the morning and less so during the afternoon. He tends to be awake 2 hours at a time in the day but for some reason the evening awake time stretches on longer with the 2 nappy changes, bottle, burping etc.

Pinter Thu 05-Jun-14 09:14:40

Bf is supply & demand, so I'd try feeding more & ditch the bottle, especially if he's a bit burpy

Make sure you're hydrated & eat lots of oats. Some people say fenugreek is good for supply too

Good luck!

fledermaus Thu 05-Jun-14 09:16:08

OK, so try waking him up from his last nap 3 hours before bedtime.

DearGirl Thu 05-Jun-14 09:21:14

I nanny and the baby needs to be awake by 4pm is woken so we can tire out again by bedtime. He won't be tired/ready for a bed time routine if he's waking between 5-7 and then being prepared for bed.

Try and work to a simple routine
9 am nap
12.30pm nap
3.30 nap (if absolutely needed)

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Thu 05-Jun-14 09:57:09

At 5 months ds was doing
7am awake
9ish nap
1ish nap
3:30 nap
All for about 45 mins
Then bed at 7,
If he had an extra nap around 5 then he wouldn't go to sleep till about 8:30/9
I didn't do a routine as such, he just fell into those times.
I had him in pjs by 6:30 roughly then when he started looking tired, he was taken to our room, that was low lighting.he got a story and bottle then went to bed.
I don't do baths every night as part of a routine.

mrsmugoo Thu 05-Jun-14 13:14:03

Similar to fledermaus, DS (12 weeks) is woken by 6 latest. Bath at 7, pjs and grobag etc....then feed and he will be asleep by 8-8:30 depending on how much he wants to feed. We started this at 8 weeks because it was all a bit of a shambles and get sometimes wasn't going to bed until gone 11.

Lostinspace1 Thu 05-Jun-14 19:18:40

Thanks everyone! I'm going to start waking him at 5 if he's still asleep.

He woke at 4pm today and I knackered the poor little thing until 6 when he couldn't take any more and passed out....still asleep now!

...and I'll ditch the bottle.

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