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Did you manage to Breastfeed your DC2 after FF DC1?

(22 Posts)
Stresseduptotheeyeballs Tue 20-May-14 23:56:13

Hello everyone,

I FF my DS due to a mixture of rubbish support, medical reasons and a lack of knowledge about breastfeeding. Before TTC DC2 I would like to gather up as much info on BF as possible as I really would like to BF.

I know the odds are against me as mother's who FF a first child are less likely to successfully BF a second, so if you did BF your second after FF I would love to hear any hints and tips you have. It's also likely that I will have to have another C-section so can I pump beforehand in order to make sure my milk comes in?

My main concern is how am I going to deal with cluster feeding etc and feeding during the night when I have been used to DS going a few hours between feeds and DH helping during the night. I'm worried that I am going to be too easily tempted back to bottle feeding.

Thanks in advance :-)

TheSarcasticFringehead Tue 20-May-14 23:59:46

Yes. It was a struggle, definitely and I did express for a very short while too though.

SqutterNutBaush Wed 21-May-14 00:06:56

I FF DS by choice 7 years ago and I've been BF DD for 14 months now smile

I had a CS with DD and milk came in fine but I was really worried about her not getting enough at first because I couldn't gauge it like formula, regular weigh ins helped there.

I did struggle sometimes with the lack of routine and constant feeding but eventually it dies get better and quicker! My DP felt a bit lost as he used to enjoy night feeds with our DS so he is in charge of bath time as that's their time to bond and gives me peace haha

I have to say though my biggest thing was not putting pressure on myself I started out thinking I'd try one feed, which led to a day, a week, a month, 6 months, 9 months and who knows when now but just take it one step at a time!

SqutterNutBaush Wed 21-May-14 00:11:35

Oh and on night feeds, I was tempted to give a bottle but then I reminded myself that I'd be doing 90℅ of the nights so would I rather traipse downstairs and faff with a screaming child and bottles or reach over, latch her own and snuggle down?!

Stresseduptotheeyeballs Wed 21-May-14 00:20:40

Thanks for your replies, it's so reassuring to hear success stories! My DH was so supportive when I was trying to BF DS, I really hope he is again given how much involvement he had with bottle feeding.

Did you find it brought up any feelings of guilt for your DC1? The decision to FF was right for us at the time but I still feel bad about it and I am wondering whether succeeding with DC2 will bring up those feelings again.

SqutterNutBaush Wed 21-May-14 00:25:08

Our decision was right for us, if I'd have been older and my family didn't feel the need to bang on about "breastfeeding being perverted" I would have tried with DS but no point worrying about it now.

ExBrightonBell Wed 21-May-14 00:25:39

There's no actual reason why you couldn't breastfeed successfully after not breastfeeding DC1. The stats just show that there is an increased likelihood of not breastfeeding, but that doesn't have to apply to you!

Also, having a c-section doesn't delay milk coming in, and you definitely don't need to try and express before delivery! Milk coming in is linked to the delivery of the placenta and the change in hormones that begin from that point on.

Finally, don't get hung up on exclusive breastfeeding as a be-all and end-all thing. It's great if you can do it, but if you end up giving the occasional formula feed or even mixed feeding long term, then you are still giving your new baby many of the advantages of breastfeeding.

Nocomet Wed 21-May-14 00:28:05

Yes DD1 hadn't a clue, hospital MWs were useless.

DD2 knew exactly what to do, from the first time I held her to my breast I knew it would work.

She actually fed properly at our second attempt.

She was born at home so no MW, helpful or otherwise. (Lovely ones who delivered her had gone home)

Yes, I have now been breastfeeding DS2 for seven months after failing to even get DS1 (prem) to latch on once ! DS2 was a great feeder from the start but my milk was a little delayed after my CS plus I was very ill so we did have to top up with formula/ expressed milk for the first week. No problems after that though. I actually found it easier than FF with a toddler as I didn't have to worry about sterilising, boiling water etc and I co-slept to help with night feeds. Good luck!

I FF dd's 1,2&3 but BF dd4 until she was 2.5. She took to it like a duck to water and I never had any problems. The older three would never latch on and so after days of trying they stuck to bottles.

Stresseduptotheeyeballs Wed 21-May-14 10:37:47

Thanks everyone! SqutterNutBaush I can't believe your family think breastfeeding is perverted! Who thinks like that?

Not having to sort out bottles sounds like utter bliss.

exbrummie Wed 21-May-14 14:33:28

I ff my first after a similar sounding situation to you op-lack of info and support.when pg with the second part of me was determined to bf this time and the other part was "it's not he end of the world if it doesn't work out"
I had a very see how it goes attitude when he was born,he latched on straight away and I bf him for nearly a year.
Every baby is different and just because bf didn't go well first time doesn't mean the next time will be the same.

Cakeismymaster Wed 21-May-14 18:55:11

I bf my first until 1 year, which was really hard work and he was a non sleeper. Hence I ff my second from day 1 and it was a lot less pressure, possibly easier, and he slept brilliantly. Currently bf'ing my third who is 9 mths old. As a poster said up thread, I just told myself let's see how it goes for a day, then a week, then a month, (then a bottle refuser anyway!) then 2 months etc..and here we are at 9 mths.

Baiocca Thu 22-May-14 08:51:34

Yes FF first and successfully BFing second (16 week now). Second time I had exactly the same difficulties but I was more prepared, determined and had more support and it made a huge difference. It was hard at the beginning and having another child to look after made things more difficult but I found that after the first 6 weeks it was plain sailing and I am so glad I stuck with it. Perhaps you could set yourself up small targets example bf up to first six weeks and then take it from there. Personally I kept telling myself that even one more day would have been a great achievement and much more than dd1 had to help me stuck to it a bit longer.

BlanketSky Thu 22-May-14 10:30:38

I FF DS, he wouldn't latch at all and I wasn't especially bothered to battle on trying after a horrific labour (or especially bothered by the idea of BF at all if I'm totally honest). 3 and a bit years on, I am BF DD who is 24 days old. She was born by ELCS, she was next to me while they stitched me up and I spoke to her and stroked her, then she latched on perfectly and fed when we went to recovery about an hour after she was born. I didn't do anything before hand, we just had lots of skin to skin in the first day or so, and let her lead the way!

It hasn't been easy- I found it really difficult to sit comfortably to feed her at first with the cs scar, and the length/frequency of feeds still gets me frustrated, and DS is a bit of a pain sometimes while I'm feeding (just being 3 and a bit displaced I guess). I was ready to give up a couple of weeks ago (she had an odd bottle just to get me through when I really coudln't take any more) but when it came down to it, I was really upset with the idea. I have also been telling myself I'll do another feed, then see, then it was another day, then decide; now I'm aiming for her being a month old, then probably 6 weeks and then I'm hoping it'll be second nature (?!?)

DH is feeling a bit out of things I think as he was so involved with DS (did almost all night feeds as I struggled to get out of bed) but he's now doing bath time and as she gets more alert and interested in things, and goes longer between feeds (hopefully!) he can do more with her.

One more thing, this time I was much better prepared- I bought this which has pretty much been my bible so far!

BlanketSky Thu 22-May-14 10:32:21

also had more support this time- have friends who have bf etc and I had better support in hospital with some clued up midwives and now I'm home a decent health visitor too.

Jellybellymummyofsix Thu 22-May-14 10:44:58

I ff 5 dc. 3 of those dc I didn't even attempt to bf. dc6 is 14 weeks & ebf. No problems what so ever. Not even sore nipple!

Dp has got off scott free. Does nothing with baby. Doesn't do anything extra with older dc or house. Make sure you address what your dp will be doing if your bf. I didn't think I would bf so didn't & we're on the verge of splitting up!

Cakeismymaster Thu 22-May-14 11:58:18

I second what jelly says - bf means the men get off any kind of night duties!

weebarra Thu 22-May-14 12:00:18

Yes, lasted 6 weeks with DS1 and 2years with DS2!

DancingtheTittyTango Fri 23-May-14 20:04:57

I fed my DS for 3 weeks and then turned to formula, I had excruciating nipple pain, bleeding, cracked you name it. I had no support and ended up bottle feeding but never felt like it was right.

With my second child I was determined to breastfeed so read as much as I could, watched you tube videos, bought a pump so I could express if I was desperate, bought lansinoh by the bucket full and surrounded myself with good advice and support. It was hard and I was in pain for 4 months but I did it and I fed her until she self weaned at 14 months grin It was the best thing I ever did and I will never regret all the sleepless nights and tears shed over sore nipples!

I am currently feeding DD2 and its been a long hard road which if I'm honest I still don't know where we will end up but I'm now 19 weeks in and finally getting pain free feeding! I'm hoping we get to 12 months but would love it if we can make or even longer.

There is no reason why FF the first time has to mean you will FF the second if BF is really what you want to do. Just be determined, realistic and educate yourself as much as possible about how breastfeeding works and the possible problems you can have. You won't regret persevering!

Ds was bf for 3 months before I gave up and switched to formula. Dd is nearly 6 months and ebf grin I did what you're doing and read up about bf and gathered all the info I could so I was aware how it works! what to expect etc.
it's been tough at times and tiring but she'll pop off and grin at me or reach out to grab my face and I love it. Get as much info as poss and be prepared for it yo be hard work especially the first few weeks. Good luck.

Normanpriceisnotarolemodel Sat 24-May-14 08:01:22

I've BF DD after FF DS. DS was a hungry baby and a good sleeper. DD is a bottle refuser, under hospital care for failure to thrive after dropping two centiles and still wakes 3 times a night for feeds at 7 months. I'm glad I was able to BF her after not being able to feed DS, but at the same time think life would have been a whole lot easier if I had FF her too...

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