Weight loss over 10% - midwives stressing me out - please help! DS 4 days old

[starkadder]

Hello all - please help!

DS2 is 4 days old. Weighed 9lb 14 at birth (4.4kg). Had to stay in hospital a few days for various reasons where they tested his blood sugars for 24hrs - all fine. They then interfered with him in other ways - put him under uv for jaundice (although his bilirubin levels were not that high - they did it "just in case" and would not let me take him out for long enough to feed him which was terrible as it was day 2 and he wanted to feed all the time (you know how it is). It totally stressed him out and he then wouldn't feed properly on that day or first half of day3. He is ebf and is my 3rd; I bf the other two till 14 months and 12 months respectively and never had to resort to ff so I do know how to do it!! I demanded to leave hospital yesterday; battled with them; won and since we've been home he has calmed down a lot and is feeding fine. Anyway, they weighed him today and he has lost 14% of birth weight so they want me to give him formula. I refused. Then they said I had to only bf up to 40 mins at a time (so as not to tire him out), plus express after every feed and force feed him the bottle (her literal words) and top up with formula if expressed milk is not enough.

I don't want to stop after 40 mins because he is typical bf baby and basically wants to be latched on and feeding/sleeping the entire time - this is fine by me but some kind of artificial 40 min cut off seems a bad idea.

I do have a breast pump - used it with my first baby but not with the second - but can't find the bottle attachment so I can't use it. Don't have any bottles.

Am not strongly opposed to expressing but don't really want to go out to Boots now to buy a pump etc at vast expense. Also I would not normally want to give a bottle at this stage due to poss nipple confusion.

Am tired, emotional and stressed. I think he's feeding fine now we're home and I want to ignore them.

Would it be ok if I did??

Sorry for long post and prob typos - on my phone and one handed (feeding DS2!!)

[butterfliesinmytummy]

Sounds really stressful for you. How is he otherwise? Alert? Sleeping well? Producing wet and dirty nappies? If so, I would probably keep mws at arms length for a few days....

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Tbf it sounds as though the weight loss is due to the lack of boob time in the hospital, and you clearly know what you are doing.

Id insist on being given a week of BFing and they can re weigh him then.

[mrscog]

We had this, they let me feed DS and then weigh him - 100ml is nearly 4oz which is enough to reduce a % weight loss significantly. If you have no other concerns feed feed and feed and see what happens in a day or two.

[zoemaguire]

What thinkivebeenhacked said! You know what you are doing, midwives apparently do not.

[addictedtosugar]

I think a week is too long, just incase he is loosing weight for some other reason than the atrocious start the hospital gave your bf journey.

Have they proposed another weigh in soon? If you think he's now feeding successfully, can you see if there is some weight gain by next weigh in on just bm from source? If his weight has increased, your off and away. If his weight has continued to decrease, you may need to consider supplementing more seriously.

I'm not an expert tho. Hopefully the experts will be along soon.

[starkadder]

Thanks everyone!! He has wet nappies and a few poos - last one at about 3am yesterday which was still black-green but getting less meconiumy. 3 wet nappies so far today. Other community midwife coming tomorrow and she will weigh him again then so I may have to battle with her too (it is a never ending battle!!) but am hoping he will have put some in again by then....

I think I am justified in not dashing out to boots and madly pumping all night, aren't I? I really think it would do more harm than good - I just want us both to relax and be happy and get to know each other. You know?

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Well you will more likely produce good fattening milk if you are both relaxed and happy so just settle in with LO and let him feed as much as he wants.

See what the community MW says tomorrow.

[EatsCakeForNoReasonWhatsoever]

lots of skin to skin, stay in bed topless with him, feed feed feed and I'll bet his weight starts coming back up soon. You sound like you know what you're doing - have confidence and faith in yourself. Remember you don't have to let them weigh him. You could sleep through the doorbell, for example, just for a couple of days ;)

[addictedtosugar]

Sounds like an excellent plan.
See what happens overnight, and what the mw says tomorrow.

Could you also ask her about hiring hospital pump? Not sure if that includes bottles?

Or can you "just" buy a bottle attachment for the pump you already have? Amazon?

[starkadder]

Thanks everyone . I will relax then, at least for tonight. She was going on at me so much and seemed irritated that I was not more anxious iykwim. She is a very nice person and just doing her job and following guidelines but I think in this case I do know what I'm doing and interfering more with pumps and formula etc would be harmful and not helpful. Wouldn't it?

[AndIFeedEmGunpowder]

If you want to do something tonight could you just hand express a bit and cup/syringe feed? I don't see why it has to be full on bottle/pumping if you don't want to go down that route.

Congratulations on your DS bet he is gorgeous.

[mrscog]

Hope you had a good night. If you've not actually got issues with latch etc then I don't see how expressing will help. My mw we're very supportive about me syringing/cup feeding a couple of top ups when this happened to me rather than introducing a bottle so if today's weigh in brings not the news you wanted you could do that instead? Good luck, let us know how it goes

[mrscog]

Also I'd be inclined to pen sure I pointed out that the WL is mainly down to the hospital not allowing him to be fed properly for the first few days rather than an underlying issue. Does the Com mw give you a time? Make sure you feed lots in the hour before she comes!

[ineedsomeinspiration]

I think I'd feel the same as you in your situation. Could you perhaps contact a local breastfeeding adviser, see if theyd be at midwife appointment to back you up?
It seems midwives and health visitors can be a bit hit and miss with breastfeeding advise. I would be tempted to say you want to continue breastfeeding, you do not want to introduce formula and you do not have equipment to express and how does she intend to support you with this. If she's negative ask if there is another midwife with more breastfeeding experience.
Hope the weighing goes well today.xx

[tiktok]

It certainly sounds like a difficult start in hospital and it's not surprising this has led to bf being slow to get going.

But it's not a good idea to take clinical advice from the internet. Some of the posts here telling you to avoid the midwives or weighing are best ignored IMO, well meant though they are.

14 per cent weight loss is well outside normal and his poos are showing you he needs more milk. The midwives have seen you and your baby and are in a better position to assess things. The suggestion to limit time at the breast and then offer ebm can be sensible as a temp measure to up a baby's intake. You don't need to pump. You can hand express. If you don't want to follow what they have said and instead want to feed more often and use skin to skin, then do discuss it with them.

It's not a good idea to refuse to open the door and refuse to weigh your baby. Weighing a baby who has had a difficult start is a good way to check that measures to turn things round are working.

I hope things go better from now on.

[PeaceLillyDoge]

I would strongly echo TikTok's advice.

We had 13% weightloss and it was only through sheer determination that we managed to avoid hospital admission and formula top ups. We did the following:

• Lots of skin to skin
  
• let baby breast feed
  
• Express using electric pump straight after each feed
  
• force feed (even if she was asleep) this top up, about 30ml each time for first week or so then up to about 50ml afterv that
  
• making sure baby fed every three hours, even through the night
  
• weigh each week by midwives
  
• being hyper vigilant about poo's on case any were Green (in which case, more milk)
  

I hope this helps. The health professionals are there to help you and 14% loss is way over normal weight loss. Iwould ststrong advise you to open yourself up to susuppsupport rather than pushing out away. Also, send someone out to get you some bottles for your pump, will make a big difference.

[PeaceLillyDoge]

Oh and just to reassure you, our baby didn't get nipple confusion and took a bottle of expressed milk from six. She's now ebf and we were able to drop the top ups after three to four weeks. Added bonus is she will happily take a bottle of breast milk.

It's incredibly stressful, I never thought we'd get to a stage where she was only on the Boob and thought we'd be expressing forever.

[allisgood1]

Listen to tiktok, she's the wise one!

[Andcake]

We had similar wl and were admitted to hospital .looking back now at photos ds was v gaunt and I'll looking. I think you should respect some of what hospital is saying. Can you send someone out for bottle for pump we gave one formulae feed to give ds the energy to bf. but then pumped as well as bf.

[noblegiraffe]

Not having had a poo in well over 24 hours along with the weight loss would worry me, have you had many dirty nappies since you posted yesterday? If not, please do consider the mid wife's advice as it sounds like baby might need more milk than he's getting.

[starkadder]

Hi all

Quick update - Weigh in today showed weight gain of 160g since yesterday so he is now just on the 10% line and they are off my back.

So I was justified and was right to have faith in what I knew was the case - the issue was caused by the areas and interference in hospital and resolved by being at home and feeding my baby the way I wanted to and knew was right for him.

Thanks so much for all the support.

[starkadder]

Stress (!not areas!). One handed again as...DS feeding again

[tiktok]

That's good news :)

[starkadder]

Thanks tiktok. The thing is - Jesus need more milk; they were right about that and I didn't dispute it. But I knew the way to get more milk into him was to allow me to feed him properly, because I knew I could. I knew that if I started with the formula and the pumping etc it would cause me more stress and affect my supply negatively.

Thought it was worth trying to make this clear in case others read this thread - I wouldn't advise just ignoring health professionals willy nilly either but in this case, he's my third baby and I know my body and my babies better than they do - I just wanted them to give me a chance.

Fingers crossed we are fine from here in but I think we will be.

[starkadder]

"He did"!! Not Jesus! Stupid phone!