Bfeeding, struggling - please help???

(15 Posts)
Kekee Fri 02-May-14 01:39:24

Hello mums, I'm new here and in need of advice.

As soon as I got pregnant I planned to breastfeed and I so, so want to succeed but I feel like I am really struggling. DS is 4 weeks old.

I am unsure if DS is latching correctly and no matter who (midwives, HV, GP) tries to show me how to do it correctly it just doesn't feel right. My main concern is that initially DS comes on and off the nipple constantly before settling for a feed and then screams like mad when he's finished (this is certainly not due to hunger as I am sure he gets plenty of milk - he comes off himself and is offered it a good while after to ensure he's full).

Firstly I really don't like the way it feels on my nipple (like an intense tickling sensation) and it makes it all a very unrelaxed experience, which I really don't want because I want DS to feel relaxed and comfortable with me but how can he be relaxed if I am not? I am worried my baby will feel rejected.

Secondly he suffers from terrible wind and cries after nearly every (not always) feed (hence thinking he's not latching correctly - even though it doesn't hurt etc) and I find it nearly impossible to get his wind up.

I have tried Infacol with no success and gripe water which actually seemed to make him worse! I have now bought some Colief, which appears to entail a lot of faffing about when breastfeeding, such as sterilising and expressing! Has anyone else had success with this? Or could anyone recommend something else?

I really want to succeed with it but I am not enjoying it and worried DS isn't either. I have no objection to FF but it's just not for me (for one thing it's costly!!! - then again so are all these different medicines for wind).

Really I am just looking for some reassurance - feeling a bit low as still very sore due to epi stitches not healing properly (open wound etc) and would just be glad to hear from another mummy.

Does it get easier?

ExBrightonBell Fri 02-May-14 01:53:59

Hi kekee, and congratulations on your new baby smile

The weird sensations are probably your let down reflex, which will usually settle down with time.

I just want to reassure you that your baby won't remember or be troubled by you being a bit tense at the beginning of a feed. I had awful cracked nipples from 1 to 4 weeks into breastfeeding - my ds had a dreadful latch and was mangling me. The pain was agonising, and I would often start off a feed crying and quietly swearing to myself it hurt so much! However my ds was not at all bothered, and clearly hasn't been affected by it.

Are you sure that it's wind that's causing the unsettled behaviour after a feed? How is his sleep - could he be over tired?

The bobbing on and off could be down to a fast let down at the beginning of a feed. You could try a different feeding position, like biological nurturing/laid back feeding. Also check out the Kellymom website - it has lots of excellent advice about breastfeeding.

Oh, and you are "succeeding" at breastfeeding! Don't set it up to be something that has to be "perfect" as it's different for everyone.

MildredH Fri 02-May-14 02:26:55

Kekee- it absolutely gets better.

Sorry this is a short reply- just FINALLY got 5mo dd back to sleep and must get some sleep too..

I think your stage was just about the low point for me too but then in improved, lots. Now bf is a doddle but my god there were hard times.

My advice- keep asking for help. Seek every bit of support locally. Bf cafe/HV/other mums.. I had a few visits at home from nursery nurse/HV then one day a different HV turned up. Really spoke sense, helped massively with latch & put me at ease. Was turning point.

Stick in there- most people have tricky times. It's flipin hard at times.

Congrats on your 4 week old squidge. Look after yourself too and hope things pick up.

Kekee Fri 02-May-14 02:32:30

Hi ExBrightonBell!

What a relief to get a reply, thank you!

That's good to know. I did the whole crying/quietly swearing thing for the first 3 weeks! It helps to know someone else has been through it!

He sleeps a lot, albeit on me or in my bed - he does not like his Moses basket - so I don't think it's lack of sleep/he's overtired. After feeding he pushes and pulls his legs up and down and often has blue tint around his mouth after feeding...

That sounds like a really good explanation for the 'bobbing on and off'! I'll definitely give that site a go.

Thank you again for getting back to me and for the reassurance!

Swex Fri 02-May-14 02:37:21

I second Kelly mom. So I don't have much to say beyond your doing a good job. My son is a hideous winder but at 16 weeks is slowly getting better. The let down reflex is a very very odd feeling! Good luck

DancingtheTittyTango Fri 02-May-14 07:39:58

Have you had him checked it tongue tie? Coming on and off the boob, wind and being unsettled after a feed are all signs. You need to get him checked ideally by a lactation consultant. My daughters tongue tie was missed by no less then 5 professionals (midwives, breastfeeding support workers) before I got to see a LC and she felt it instantly.

Writerwannabe83 Fri 02-May-14 13:49:32

I had all the same problems! From the time I was first feeding him after he was born I felt that something wasn't right with his attachment and latch and as the days passed I still wasn't happy. The MW and HV dismissed my concerns and so I just persevered. DS is now6 weeks old and I KNOW that something is wrong, he's finding it harder to attach, his latch keeps loosening, my nipples are getting cracked, he is unsettled at he breast and the amount of wind he has is unbelievable. As a result I'm seeing a Lactation Consultant for assessment for possible tongue tie. Even if DS doesn't have that I'm looking forward to hearing her advice and getting her help because I can't carry on like I am - breast feeding is becoming less enjoyable with every day that passes sad

Kekee Fri 02-May-14 16:37:37

Aww I really feel better knowing that people have gone through/are going through the same thing. Thank you for helping me out.

MildredH - The encouragement to keep going really helps, especially when it's at a difficult point, although nothing like the first 2 weeks, ohhh my, yes hard times indeed.

Swex - Have just been looking at Kellymom, it is really good isn't it! Yeah I've read a lot that it takes about 3 months or so to get better, although I've heard some right horror stories about babies being windy for the first couple of years, madness!

DancingtheTittyTango - Love the name, haha. I hadn't even thought of tongue tie, partly because he only started coming on and off in the last week, which is why I reckon a more likely explanation is 'a fast let down' or something? I will look into it, though. It seems like a lot of people feel much better after seeing a lactation consultant!

Writerwannabe83 - Sorry to hear you're feeling like that. I completely understand when you say about it being 'less enjoyable', it's how I feel sometimes and I so want to enjoy it, so I can remember it being special between me and my DS. I am as new to this as you are but I can only advise you to use Lansinoh nipple cream and have lots of warm baths with lavender oil (dilute in a small cup of milk first) and come on here to talk/read - it's really helping me. Good Luck with the LC! Maybe get back to me on it?

xxx

Writerwannabe83 Sat 03-May-14 13:11:36

Just got back from my appointment and the lady was BRILLIANT!

DS does have some degree of tongue tie but not enough at this stage to warrant the procedure. She asked to observe me feeding and immediately picked up on little things that I was doing wrong (despite HV's and MW's not having said anything) and she showed me the correct technique for an effective latch and taught me new positions. She then helped me to do it and the feeding was so much more comfortable, for both me and DS. I can't believe the problem has been sorted (hopefully) by something so simple and it annoys me that the HV and MW were happy to just let me carry on. The lady said to try these new techniques over the next week and if things don't improve in terms of DS's feeding and his behaviour at the breast then I am to go back next Saturday and she will snip the tongue tie free of charge. She's hopeful though that with everything we discussed today there will definitely be an improvement.

It cost us £100 today for a 45 minute appointment but it was absolutely worth it!!!

dats Sun 04-May-14 01:02:49

Sorry for hijack...writer how did you find your lactation consultant? I'm toying with the idea, too.

Kekee hope things get better. I'm in a similar position although maybe not as bad, Infacol is helping us at least! And my undercarriage is still painful too. The things no one tells you, eh? Sending moral support, you're not alone!

mangofizz Sun 04-May-14 04:44:10

Where do you live dats? There is a private company called milk matters, think they are based in Huddersfield or somewhere like that, not sure if nationwide.

My local hospital has a fabulous lactation team that can be accessed through the nhs, worth trying that route to see if there's support there if you ask for it too

tiktok Sun 04-May-14 09:01:05

Some good stuff here already so I will be brief smile

You mention blue tinge.

This is widely held to be wind.

It is not and it can't possibly be.

If your baby is growing well and thriving, the blue tinge is not significant. It is very common because babies have translucent skin.

Working long and hard at getting wind up can be disturbing for babies and stressful for all.

(If the lips are blue then that's a different matter. Quite serious and needs checking out)

Writerwannabe83 Sun 04-May-14 09:28:25

dats - I went to a Breast Feeding Support Group that is run by my local Children's Centre and they gave me her details. She is based down in Berkshire but does clinics around the country. Thankfully she does one in a city only 30 minutes from me (Leicestershire).

I rang her last Wednesday after my group session and she said she'd be willing to see me that day if I could get to Berkshire but it was too far from me - hence why I saw her yesterday. I'd been having problems for weeks so thought waiting another 3 days to see her was no problem!

dats Sun 04-May-14 11:08:51

Ok thanks both - I'm on the south coast but will investigate my options!

Kekee Tue 06-May-14 01:45:43

Writerwannabe83 So glad you made some progress, hope things have continued to improve.

dats Thanks for the moral support, right back at you!!

x

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