Desperate and down

[Netguru]

Seven day old DD - DC4

Had an elective CS which went wrong. Low lying placenta meant 3-4 litres blood lost unexpectedly. Nearly didn't make it.

Managed to establish breast feeding round six drips, blood pressure cuff, oxy meter etc. this meant a lot to me as never managed to get BF going before and I was bloody determined to the point that I fought any suggestions otherwise. I didn't do this with DD1 and got post natal depression which hinged in her not being able to establish BFing after a week in SCBU

Day by day drips were removed and feeding got easier. On day three I
signed myself out and came home after baby got all clear.

Morning day four MW came and baby lost 13.5 per cent weight. Faced with going back into hospital I opted for top ups after every feed and feeds maximum 3 hourly.

She gained 3.5 per cent in 24 hours and the threat of having to go back into hospital receeded. Four days on though she has gained no more and today's advice is switch to formula. The suspicion is that the birth trauma and anaemia have meant my milk is not calorific. I have loads - I can pump as quickly as she takes a feed but clearly for done reason it is not working.

I am really upset. I know a healthy baby is paramount but it seems do unfair that the first time I manage to BF I am told to stop.

I know I can pump milk to keep my supply going but seeing the first bottle thrown down the sink really HURT. I feel utterly useless.

[tiktok]

Netguru, sorry to hear of these difficult early struggles. :(

Do get better advice. Anyone telling you that a difficult birth and anaemia mean your milk is less calorific can safely be ignored. Neither of these situations impact on the calorie content of your milk.

They may have an impact on the quantity of milk available to your little dd and obviously she needs to feed well and often to get the quantity she needs.
Alternatively you need to get your milk going and this can be done by frequent expressing at the same time as helping your dd get what needs direct.

Why was your ebm thrown away?

Is there a better source of bf help for you nearby?

[crikeybadger]

What a sad story.

Who on earth is telling you your milk is not calorific enough, and why are you pouring in down the sink?

If you say you have no trouble with supply ( which anaemia can sometimes cause), then I would suggest the issue is with poor milk transfer.

Have the mw's done anything to help with the breastfeeding or are they simply suggesting you turn to formula? They could watch a whole feed to see if the latch is good, check for tongue tie or propose breast compressions.

If it is the mw's suggesting your milk is not calorific enough then they are revealing some serious shortcomings In their knowledge. Is there anyone one else you can contact to get help? A breastfeeding counsellor, infant feeding specialist for eg.?

[carolinementzer]

I agree with tiktok, can you get another source of bf help and advice?

In the meantime make sure you are eating enough calories from good quality food (get someone else to cook up batches for you) and eat regularly, plus plenty of water and no caffeine. Almonds, cashews and dried fruit make good snacks.

You could also try this tea which is said to increase milk production - traditionalmedicinals.com/products/mothers-milk/
Keep on persevering and expressing and you'll get there in the end. Hopefully with time your baby will gain adequate weight and you'll be able to cut down on the supplementing.
Best wishes and good luck.

[Netguru]

Thank you. I phoned the nct helpline after reading replies on here. They have never heard of "less calorific milk" either.

I am in a state though and can't quite see a way out of it. Every Fred that goes by my DD is less fond of latching on as bottles are so much easier for the baby. I worry that I will never get it back.

[nirishma]

Would just like to warn you that my dd ended up drinking water from me. I had an oversupply and her milk transfer was poor in the early days so she would fill up on foremilk and never get to the fatty stuff. She used to be too full and bring the feed back up. It was watery and acidic and there was loads of it. She was born 8lb and was only 10lb 12 by five and a half months.

I stopped nursing her so frequently when she started solids as I felt reassured by seeing what she was eating and relaxed a bit more. As a result my supply went down to a normal amount and she only possetted small amounts and when she did it was like cream. She started to pile on the weight.

I know I had oversupply because it hurt when the milk was released and her nappies were ridiculously wet compared to how dry they are now after a 7 oz bottle of formula.


So the midwife is talking shite but what I am saying is, be wary of pumping in the first three months as you could create the same oversupply problem I had... of course I was told my milk was non existant or not good enough and like you I found this hard to believe.

Some babies like to snack and fill up very easily. That is how my paediatrician explained it to me.

Hope this helps. Good luck with the breastfeeding and u can combi feed to take the pressure off you for now. Enjoy your baby!

[ExBrightonBell]

What kind of bottles are you using? Have you tried using ones that mimic the action of breastfeeding (I used the Medela Calma ones but there are others as well)? The free flow teats do seem in some babies to encourage a preference for the quick and easy feeds from a bottle.

My ds was not very good at feeding after a week in SCBU being tube fed, and then given formula top ups. It took a while to get back to exclusive and direct breast feeding. It is possible, maybe not in every case, but I wanted to give you a positive story.

Some people have had success with a supplemental nursing system (SNS) although I have no personal experience of these.

It's horrible, isn't it, to be in the middle of this kind of experience. I remember the stress and worry well. I wish you and your dd well and hope you can get to where you want to be with this.

[Clobbered]

I'd be inclined to ignore all this guff from your current midwife and go with your instincts - feed your baby what she wants when she wants it and see what happens. Get a second opinion from someone who knows what they are talking about in a few days time. If this is your 4th baby, I think you will know if things aren't right with her, won't you?

[tiktok]

I don't agree that going with instinct and just feeding is sufficient though it's definitely part of it. OP, find someone who can observe you feed, who is knowledgable and understands about early bf, and see them today. You can call the maternity unit and ask to speak to the infant feeding adviser and tell her you were told the rubbish about low calorie milk. Call the nct line again and ask to see someone.

Please don't be concerned about over supply. This is not your problem at present at all. Expressing is likely to be an important part of rescuing your bf. Dont be too concerned about the type of bottles either.

It is horrible to be confused and conflicted about the right next step. Please get help to find your way through it.

[crikeybadger]

How are things today net guru?

[Netguru]

Still struggling on but I spoke to NCT breastfeeding helpline and then the infant feeding coordinator at the hospital. Both were supportive of BF and this meant I found a grip and told MWs that I was carrying on breastfeeding.

DD is hovering between wanting a bottle and enjoying long breast feeds. She has put on 60g so is now 8.2 per cent under birthweight. That is just enough to get them off my back for now.

They are not coming back until Tuesday so four days to relax and try and de stress

Posts on here encouraged my resolve tenfold turning me from a weeping hormonal woman into a tigress. Thanks all.

[crikeybadger]

Well done tigress, glad you've got some help! Keep on 'boobin!

[SomethingOnce]

Gosh, Netguru, you've really been through it.

You've done amazingly, and been putting your daughter first, but I hope you are taking good care of yourself and being looked after too.

Congratulations on your lovely new baby

[TobyLerone]

Netguru, you are a legend