I have a baby who is approaching 4 weeks old. He is exclusively breast fed which is going well and 99% of the time I love doing it.
However, the remaining 1% of me feels a bit resentful of how much it ties me to the baby whilst my DH's input is understandably less.
I absolutely love my son and would never stop breast feeding but sometimes I'd just like some me time and some sleep.
When DS wakes in the night DH will get him up and to do his nappy but then he gets the luxury of going straight back to sleep whereas I'm usually up for 1-1.5 hours with DS, feeding him, winding him and trying to settle him. Once DS has gone to sleep he's usually awake 2 hours later and the cycle starts again. Every time my DH tells me how tired he is I inwardly seethe.
I'm also jealous that he gets to go out for hours and pursue his hobbies, going to the gym, playing football etc and have that break from the crying and the 4 walls,just having that quality time for himself whereas I just don't have that option.
Like I said, I love my DS and my DH, I'm not angry with either of them about the situation, I just had to get it off my chest.
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Infant feeding
Does anyone else feel a bit resentful. At times?
Writerwannabe83 · 16/04/2014 07:20
Congratulations on your new baby.
I promise it gets easier. They get more efficient at feeding.
But in the meantime, have you told DH how you're feeling? It sounds like his life hasn't changed apart from the odd nighttime nappy 
whereas yours has been completely turned upside down. Tell him if you're lonely/bored/overwhelmed, and tell him that you want company. Perhaps you should both go to bed earlier, together, even if he is reading and you are dozing. If she says he isn't tired yet, then he isn't fucking tired and can quit it with the comments.
Your baby is very new and this stage is very short. My baby is 5mo and the newborn intensity is just a memory now.
Hold tight.
Phew, I'm glad I'm not the only one 
To be fair though, there are some benefits, for example my husband bought me breakfast in bed this morning as I couldn't get it myself due to breast feeding. He's now downstairs cleaning the kitchen and I had to apologise that I couldn't help but I'm busy feeding the baby 
I remember feeling like this at times. It is overwhelming. There are also days when it is great, like when I read two novels on the sofa just feeding all day, the stresses of work and night shifts a distant memory :)
I found the settling after feeding the most exhausting bits of the night; and so, this was the bit DP did for me. So the routine was she would wake, I would feed on one side, DP would get up to change her nappy, I would feed the other side, he would wind and settle her back to sleep. I basically fed and nothing else at night and didn't find it too tiring. Yes it meant we were both sleep deprived but it also meant we felt like we were both parents not just me and also a lovely cuddly family… (we co-slept in the early days) He absolutely refused to leave the bed and go sleep elsewhere in the early days. I remember lots of back rubs while breast-feeding lying down, then me and baby would both drift off. There are ways to make it easier and certainly more things your DH could do if he wanted to.
When I just couldn't cope with the tiredness any more I would sleep in the spare room, and he (or my mum a few times) would only bring the baby to me for feeds. That way I didn't have to be woken by it, do that blurry half-asleep assessment of what they need, settle afterwards, etc… I found that really helped. Just occasionally.
Oh and DP also cancelled most of his football matches and almost all his going out drinking activities for the first couple of months. Another thing he (or someone else) can do is take the baby out for a walk? Babies are usually ok when in a pram or sling for a while and you could get some uninterrupted time to rest.
btw I still felt resentful and yelled at him at times: hormones eh?
Well done on getting this far by the way!! I remember some posts from you a few weeks ago 
I would strongly encourage you to talk to DP and explain how you are feeling and discuss possible solutions.
I was honest from the beginning with DP. His life hardly changed and mine was completely different, but I let it change. I went back to my old sports team at 6 weeks as they were short of players one week, it was only 1 hour out of the house but I felt so much better for it. I'm still playing now 2.5 years later
DP and I came to an agreement of certain "nights off" so he went to the gym on Mondays, my sports team was Tuesdays and that meant I'd come in, feed, but then go and have a relaxing bath with a magazine. If dd needed a feed, she'd either have an expressed bottle or dp would bring her in, I'd feed her and he'd take her again. It was just one night a week that was mine (probably no more than 3 hours but it was lovely)
You are definitely doing the right thing by asking DP to do stuff because you are feeding, he (and others) can get in to the habit of doing all the other stuff that comes with having a baby other than feeding it!
You're normal writer I'd be concerned if you didn't feel a bit of resentment. Just make sure you tell DP.
Separately, i always think of the phrase "spell it in neon lights" because DP wouldn't obviously do something that I would do, I have to ask / tell him, not hint. It doesn't work ie can you vacuum our room whilst I feed the baby?
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