Breastfed babies and leaving them to go for a meal?

(18 Posts)
littleraysofsunshine Thu 13-Mar-14 11:04:59

Dp and I never have us time. We have a three, almost two and 6 week old. I breastfed the eldest two and breastfeeding now. I don't like the idea of leaving him with family just yet but maybe in a few months? Elmer just want to do sonething for us once a month? Meal? Cinema? Lunch? But I don't want ds being given anything other than my milk and don't think giving bottles will be a good idea ( even in say 4,months time) how can I work my way around it? Wait until solids are introduced around 6 months?

Family members have commented in the past, oh one ff won't hurt.. Well it's my choice not to give ff. even if I were to get a break

SJisontheway Thu 13-Mar-14 11:07:43

I don't understand your objection to a bottle of expressed breast milk. If feeding is well established I can't see what harm it would do.

Geneticsbunny Thu 13-Mar-14 11:08:19

Take him with you, then you can go now. I have been to resteraunt with mine in the evenings when they were under 3 months andit worked really well. At around 4 months ish mine started sleeping for a sold chunk in the evenings which meant I could go out without them. You just have to be ready to abandon dinner and come home if you need to.

Geneticsbunny Thu 13-Mar-14 11:09:08

I never did bottles as I have problems expressing.

FromagePlease Thu 13-Mar-14 11:43:07

If you won't/can't give the baby a bottle (expressed or not) then you will have to be with your baby non-stop until he is at least 6 months? Don't you need some time away, a trip to the hairdressers, shopping or some drinks with friends one evening?

I was told that it is easier for babies to take a bottle if they are introduced fairly early. We introduced a very occasional expressed feed at 2 weeks so that I could leave the baby if I had/wanted to. She does now, at 10 weeks, also take a very occasional formula feed if I am out for longer periods.

In answer to your question though you could either take the baby with you to lunch/dinner or, you could time your feeds so you can quickly get there and back in time. Not sure how relaxing this would be though.

I hope you find a solution which works for you.

littleraysofsunshine Thu 13-Mar-14 11:48:24

It's just my personal preference. My girls self weaned to bottles at 13 and 15m.

Babieseverywhere Thu 13-Mar-14 11:59:30

Yes, you can leave an EBF baby without leaving bottles.

The amount of time will vary depending on your baby, their age and the distance you are from baby.

Try something interruptable first, cup of coffee some where local and work up to cinema trip a distance away.

By the time I got to my fourth child I didn't bother express, as my babies prefer to wait for me to return with my milk. They happily play/nap up to 4 hours for a six month old baby with grandparents.

Short answer try and see, good luck smile

JuanFernandezTitTyrant Thu 13-Mar-14 12:03:56

If you're happy to never leave your baby fine. Personally, I am 5 months in and I am desperate for a break. My bottle refuser has just started waking up a lot at night and increasingly early, just in time for my birthday next week. You'd think that a few hours off in 5 months wouldn't be much to ask but apparently so. Tbh I have been sobbing with frustration and exhaustion about it this morning, but whatever suits you.

Eletheomel Thu 13-Mar-14 12:05:48

Depends on your child. DS1 fed frequently adn I could never really leave him until he was close on a year as he just always wanted boob (never really took to solids well until 11 months). DS2 is a totally different kettle of fish, went into a 2.5 hour feeding schedule by 2 weeks (all on his own) and I've left him for a couple of hours during the day to have lunch with my sister (we'd gotten him down for a nap and knew he'd be fine).

You know your baby best as to what time of the day/length etc would work for her.

(I've also never given a bottle :-D

Babieseverywhere Thu 13-Mar-14 12:13:59

((JuanFernandezTitTyrant))
It is so hard when our babies need us so much. Have you tried leaving your baby ? How did it go ?

I found all my babies feed frequently and only want me when little, when I was around which is 99% of the time .But the occassional time I left them with DH or my mum, they were happy and fine without me..as long as I came back within a few hours, which I always did smile

JollyMarie79 Thu 13-Mar-14 12:17:06

Would you allow someone to cup feed EBM? It's tricky to start with but once you get the hang of it it's eat and doesn't confuse baba like bottles supposedly do. grinsmile

littleducks Thu 13-Mar-14 12:20:45

I have a 7 yr old, 5 yr old and 5 month old baby. I ebf and have never used a bottle or expressed. I find the three of them hard work at times so have built in some time alone (they stay with dh) this time round.

I made sure dh was used to this early, eg he had the baby for my postnatal check. I fed the baby before going and if he had an issue in that 40 minutes he could have brought him to me.

I made a vague routine of baby to bed at 7 (older kids bedtime) from about 2.5 months old. I regularly go out between his 6.30 and 9.30-10pm feeds (he sleeps).

At first I did this on Mondays only, when I take big ones to swimming lessons (if he was grumpy like after jabs or when he had a cold I could either take him along or dh would take big ones). Once used to this I started going for an hour swim on Tuesday myself and now I go on Wednesdays to an exercise class. So am gone 1.5/2 hours. At the weekend I might pop to the shop or out for an hour after a daytime feed.

I'm going to start weaning (blw) in about 3 weeks and will introduce a sippy cup. Ds had had two or three sips of water from my water bottle so far and I will build this up.

Once he is taking food and water I will leave him for a longer period like maybe 4/5 hours.

It's not recommended to use bottles after a year so it seemed pointless to introduce them and then take then away.

FromagePlease Thu 13-Mar-14 12:27:02

Juan - sounds like you really need a break. I'm assuming you have done all the usual things to get your baby to take a bottle and it is still refused. How frustrating! Ours sometimes takes it perfectly and sometimes fusses at first. Eventually we always get there even if it takes 20 mins.

At 5 months do you think you could try a cup as suggested? Or how about some baby porridge if you think he could be ready?

Sorry that you are having a tough morning

TheScience Thu 13-Mar-14 13:04:57

From 6/7 months I could easily leave DS for 4 hours with just food and water.

JuanFernandezTitTyrant Thu 13-Mar-14 13:34:54

Thank you babies and fromage and sorry for hijacking OP.

It was dh's job to get a bottle into DS - we started late because we had a rough start to feeding - but needless to say he has been anything but consistent and persistent with it. I told him at Christmas that I wanted to be able to go out for my birthday and he still hasn't managed it. I deliberately set a long timescale, naively thinking that was plenty of time. I am trying DS with a cup but its very slow going.

I managed 3 hours out one evening when DS was about 8 weeks old - he is actually sleeping worse at the moment than when he was tiny. I could double feed him then Iyswim, now he won't be tricked like that. He was always a good sleeper but he's seriously deteriorated in the last week. The rest of the time I might get an hour or so but I have to work around his feeds and naps. Tbh most of the time I just want to collapse on the sofa eating cake rather than rushing out and doing something.

leedy Thu 13-Mar-14 13:46:07

"If you won't/can't give the baby a bottle (expressed or not) then you will have to be with your baby non-stop until he is at least 6 months?"

Not the case in my experience - I used to be able to get out for a swim or a coffee or hairdresser or something from fairly early on when the boys napped/slept and later while they were awake once their ravening need for constant milk when awake abated a bit (from about 3 months, IIRC) As babies says it does depend on the baby but it's definitely not a universal that you are glued to the baby until solids are introduced unless they'll take a bottle. Worth giving a shorter/local trip a try and see how it goes.

(both of mine would take EBM, DS1 from a bottle and DS2 from a cup, but I ended up hardly ever needing to use it til I went back to work if I timed my outings right)

leedy Thu 13-Mar-14 13:49:54

Juan, have you tried the Doidy cup? DS2 was a total bottle refusenik but seemed to get the hang of that one straight away at about 4.5 months.

Also it sounds like you could be still in the 4 month sleep regression of doom, when nice sleeping babies turn into terrible wakeful tyrants, though mercifully it's temporary.

JuanFernandezTitTyrant Thu 13-Mar-14 13:59:47

Leedy I'm going to get a doidy cup. I thought we'd had the 4 month regression and come out the other side - we had 2 weeks of the screaming ab dabs for an hour before each nap and bed time - but apparently not.

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