Help - think I've confused my 2 week old by giving him a dummy :(

(24 Posts)
Slh122 Fri 07-Feb-14 19:26:27

DS is 17 days old and for the last couple of days we've been giving him a dummy on the advice of the midwife to settle him when he's crying and doesn't want a feed.
I was confident that we had a good latch established otherwise I would never have given him one.
Today he's been fussing at the breast all day - he latches on, feeds for about a minute then delatches and cries. Repeat and repeat.
I feel awful and am so worried I've ruined breastfeeding forever. Have I confused him? sad

Paintyfingers Fri 07-Feb-14 19:31:46

First of all you are doing a great job by ebf him - he is a lucky boy.

Yes, dummies can confuse babies - sone can come to prefer the harder teat to the softer nipple. I will post some links in a second.

Nothing is ruined at all though - if you just phase out the dummies and kept gently offering to feed with plenty of skin to skin it is very likely that calm will return.

I will post some more in a second, but just wanted to reassure you.

Paintyfingers Fri 07-Feb-14 19:36:09

This is a helpful explanation of nipple confusion linked from Kellymom:

breastfeeding.hypermart.net/avoidingnipple.html

Slh122 Fri 07-Feb-14 19:38:51

He's hungry and trying to latch on but he won't and is crying hysterically. What can I do? sad

Paintyfingers Fri 07-Feb-14 19:43:38

The other thing to bear in mind is that many babies are fussy in the first few months and this can start at around 2-3 weeks. There is a really good link about fussy babies and things you can try here:

kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/fussybaby/

This could be a growth spurt, when intense feeding and more crying can happen:

kellymom.com/bf/normal/growth-spurts/

It is quite common for there to be a growth spurt at around 2-3 weeks.

The best way to handle all this is to keep offering milk any time you think he needs it - even before he has asked is perfect! What also helps is to keep your baby close. Slings are very comforting for babies. Skin to skin they adore. It is not uncommon for babies this age to feed very frequently and to prefer to fall asleep on you.

How many feeds are you giving in 24 hours would you say and what is the longest between feeds?

notwoo Fri 07-Feb-14 19:44:10

Pop dummy in, hold him close to breast while he calms down and then slide dummy out and breast in.

Paintyfingers Fri 07-Feb-14 19:45:18

Is your oh there? If so, try handing baby to DH to calm now - walk, talk and gently sway him.

Here is a very helpful link re baby not latching:
kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/

Paintyfingers Fri 07-Feb-14 19:46:20

Any of the bf lines would happily give RL help. You can call the LLL helpline now as they are still open.

Slh122 Fri 07-Feb-14 19:47:40

DP is here but he's being unhelpful. I've just given him DS to change and told him we're not allowed to give him dummies anymore now and he's told me to 'shut up'.

He's already had his growth spurt and today we've been feeding every 2 hours.

Paintyfingers Fri 07-Feb-14 19:49:02

Once baby is calm take your top off, lie back propped up with cushions on the bed.

Put baby flat on tummy (biological nurturing) and let baby latch on when he wants to - help him when he shows he wants to latch.

Hand expressing a little milk to the nipple so he can already taste the milk when he very first latches may help.

Slh122 Fri 07-Feb-14 19:49:48

Thank you very much will try that now

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Fri 07-Feb-14 19:50:08

Oh no how stressful for you. I would strip him down (in a warm room) and so you are skin to skin. This calms some babies down. You could also try hand expressing a few drops on to the end of your nipple, playing some white noise, feeding in a different position.

I'd def give a BF helpline a call first thing and your MW this eve if he doesn't latch on.

Promise it gets easier. You won't have ruined breastfeeding smile

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Fri 07-Feb-14 19:51:10

X post

Paintyfingers Fri 07-Feb-14 19:51:20

That isn't what you need, but crying babies bring out the worst in all of us. Do whatever you need to do to get DS calm tonight and then call LLL helpline tomorrow morning and work out a plan to phase out dummies. If you can do without them tonight, great. If not, you can start the phase out programme tomorrow.

Sending you some thanks brew And un mn hugs in case they help.

HemlockYewglimmer Fri 07-Feb-14 19:57:31

Three of my four had dummies very early on (the other was a thumb sucker instead) and all breastfed for a long time so I doubt you've ruined breastfeeding. Babies can get fussy for many reasons -DC4 was terrible for having a fussy few days every couple of weeks. As the others have said, plenty of snuggles, skin to skin and access to the breast and I'm sure you'll all be fine smile

Slh122 Fri 07-Feb-14 20:01:41

Arghhhh MIL has just turned up (at 8 o fucking clock) and DP has taken him out to 'calm him' - ie pass him round his family! angry

Paintyfingers Fri 07-Feb-14 20:17:22

Was he calmer when oh left?

Slh122 Fri 07-Feb-14 20:20:35

No he's crying again and fussing on my boobs. He latches on and sucks for a few minutes (and I know he's getting milk because I can hear him swallowing) and then delatches and starts crying and fussing and trying to latch again but won't/can't.

Paintyfingers Fri 07-Feb-14 20:28:12

Oh dear hmm

Have you tried breast compressions? You can google them - v easy to do and can help when they are frustrated with slow flow.

MissRatty Fri 07-Feb-14 21:50:14

It may just be fussiness or a growth spurt. There isn't actually conclusive evidence for nipple confusion, regardless of what the kellymom website states...I did a LOT of research before introducing it to our then two week old (and my old job was a medicak researcher), as he had reflux and we were advised that the sucking action on a dummy would help keep the milk down due to the swallowing action.

You getting stressed will have more of an effect on your little one, so try to stay calm, get comfy, regardless of his crying and talk to him soothingly. Don't force it, just take things slow. Try putting your finger in his mouth to calm him, and then try getting him to latch. If he's having none if it, let him do his own thing, check to see if he needs winding, nappy change etc. then just keep trying, you will get there.

You are doing an amazing job and have not ruined anything!

notwoo Fri 07-Feb-14 22:00:29

Have you given him a good winding? Mine used to do that when they needed a burp.

navyeye Fri 07-Feb-14 22:05:20

have their been plenty of wet and dirty nappies today? Are you sure your DS is hungry?

navyeye Fri 07-Feb-14 22:07:22

ps. How long as he been awake? My (dummy using EBF for a year) ds used to do this when he was over tired.

PorkPieandPickle Fri 07-Feb-14 22:35:26

Is your DP supporting you? Telling you to shut up and allowing his family to come round at 8pm when you're stressed doesn't sound great... Maybe you need to have a talk with him and explain how stressed you're feeling and how he could help.

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