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Infant feeding

Using mummy as a dummy!? Help.

23 replies

LaDiDaDi · 03/08/2006 18:55

I hope that someone can help me with this.

Dd is 12+ weeks old now but was 7+ weeks prem so is actually 5+weeks corrected if that makes sense.

I have been giving her 3 bottles of lowbirthweight formula each day, trying to give them at 12noon, 4pm and 8pm with breastfeeding snacks as demanded in between and breastfeeding overnight. I make up her bottles to 120 mls but the amount that she takes is really variable, anything from 60-120ml. Often she will have a bit of formula and then refuse anymore but still appear hungry and want breast.

The past few days she has been driving me mad. I can't put her down for much more than 5 minutes during the day without her screaming. Even if she appears to be sound asleep she wakes within minutes of being put down. Usually she is ok in the pram and is quiet or sleeps when being pushed about but today I had to leave the supermarket and come home because she was just screaming constantly. She simply seems to want to have my boob in her mouth constantly and I mean constantly. She is sucking but most of the time it seems really half-hearted and I'm not convinced that she is actually being effective in transferring milk hence I feel that I am just being used as a dummy. I have tried her with a variety of dummies, a friend has given me some that her ds rejected as well as one's that I've bought, but she refuses them all. My nipples are getting sore now when I've not had problems with them previously.

It's really driving me mad and making me miserable that I can't put her down even to go to the loo without her screaming and then of course she is harder to settle.

Any ideas?

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RubyRioja · 03/08/2006 18:56

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MrsApron · 03/08/2006 19:05

6 week growth spurt buckle down it will tail off. baby is programmed to suckle like crazy to boost your milk supply.

They happen about every 3 weeks for a while.

Deep breaths - this too shall pass.

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Quootiepie · 03/08/2006 19:07

DS was the same... maybe think about getting a swing to put her in (DS used to not like his, but he loves it now) or a sling to carry her round in so your not sat holding her the whole time? DS is abit more independent now (18 weeks) but I held him 99% of the time! They do comfort feed alot... but it does calm down.

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sleepycat · 03/08/2006 19:12

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sleepycat · 03/08/2006 19:16

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StinkyPete · 03/08/2006 19:19

not at all tackling the cause; but i can recommend LANSINOH for sore nipples. it's safe to use without washing off before feeding. you only need a tiny amount, so it may be worth asking your mv if they have any free sample sachets

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FrannyandZooey · 03/08/2006 19:23

Oh god

You poor thing, it will pass though. How difficult for you.

Just wanted to say, you are not being used as a dummy - it's natural for babies to want to suck all the time, it's the dummy that is being used as a substitute for the nipple IYSWIM. But babies are not all so good at conveying their needs so vociferously - you must be frazzled.

The constant sucking will build up your supply, I am wondering if that is a factor? With mixed feeding it can be hard to get a good supply going I believe, so she may be doing her bit to establish lots of milk for the future.

Hoping tiktok or someone will be along soon with some expert advice.

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USAUKMum · 03/08/2006 20:00

Hi, both mine were like this. Is possible DD has colic. My DD cried 5pm - 9pm every night unless feeding. DS from 8am - 8pm. They did seem to accept carrying instead of suckling, so at least gives your breasts some rest. I suggest a sling / baby carrier as it keeps them close, without you holding. Also my DD found the vacuum cleaner and an extractor fan relaxing (white noise) my DS found watching cars out the window relaxing (my neighbors must of thought I was nuts!). Both were better outside. Colic babies are also harder to settle to sleep, and easily woken once asleep. If it is colic, it will pass -- usually by 16 wks.

Good luck!

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tiktok · 03/08/2006 20:05

I agree with FandZ.

There may be a supply issue here, which your dd is trying to correct....300 ml of formula is quite a lot to build up a breastmilk supply around.

She's not using you as a dummy - she's using you as a mummy ;) Your breast and your body and your presence is what she loves best in all the world.

Slings/baby carriers help in this phase.

Sore nipples need checking out.

It will get better in time if you can hang on in there.

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LaDiDaDi · 03/08/2006 21:06

Thanks for all of your replies. I think that it is probably a combination of a supply problem with her preferring breast to me giving her a bottle, I think it's probably better when she gets the bottle from someone else as then she takes more and so isn't so desperate to get milk that I haven't got out of me. Does that seem as if it might be what's going on?

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FrannyandZooey · 03/08/2006 21:14


but I would think it was better that she gets as much as she possibly can from you, and as little as necessary from the bottle, isn't it? I am assuming you are trying to establish a good supply and move towards exclusive breastfeeding asap?

I don't know anything about premature babies and feeding but I would think the longer she spends breastfeeding or trying to breastfeed the better (your nipples permitting, obviously )
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FrannyandZooey · 03/08/2006 21:19

I didn't put that very well, sorry. If she keeps going with the constant feeding, you will have loads and loads of milk, which is great. Don't worry about her being "so desperate to get milk that I haven't got out of me". It works on supply and demand - if she demands, your breasts will supply. If you give dummies, formula or otherwise try to divert her need for milk then you will struggle to produce as much milk as she wants / needs. I understand you have probably been advised to give this special formula for now because of her prematurity, is that right?

Sounds like you (and she) are doing better than you think - I think it's a great sign she is wanting to feed so strongly, and making her needs very clear. She sounds a little feisty one

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LaDiDaDi · 03/08/2006 21:29

Thanks F and Z. I did try a few weeks ago to get to exclusive breasfeeding but it was just hopeless. I understand that to do so means just sitting at home and letting her feed constantly if she wants and enjoying putting my feet up etc but tbh I just hated it and she fussed and screamed and looked really frustrated at the breast so I decided to try and stick with the three bottles routine.

The bottles were started because of her lowbirth weight and no weight gain for over a week when she first came out of hospital and i was trying to exclusively bf. I know that everyone says not to worry too much about weight gain but as she was still less than 2kg it was a real worry for us.

I'm sorry if I'm boring the pants off everybody by the way as I've posted on here before about my dd.

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LaDiDaDi · 03/08/2006 21:35

I didn't mean that last line to sound ungrateful by the way.

I just didn't want anyone to be reading this thinking "Oh it's that LaDiDaDi on about bf and her dd again!"

Sorry, I'm not sure I'm helping.

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FrannyandZooey · 03/08/2006 21:45

As I say I don't know anything about breastfeeding premature babies so I don't want to go against anything you have been advised for your dd's health. But I understand that it will be a struggle for you to establish a good supply in the early days with mixed feeding (and it does sound like this could be what is happening). If I was aiming to continue breastfeeding at this stage I would be aiming to cut out all bottles as soon as possible. I think it is actually making life harder for you as your supply needs a real boost but the bottles are getting in the way of your daughter stimulating your nipples as much as she needs to.

Try a sling as Tiktok advises, one of the ring slings so she can lie sideways and be supported while breastfeeding. You can even walk around like this so no need to put your feet up all the time (although why on earth would you not want to? ) Do you have other children or is dd your first?

I am sure nobody is bored of your posts - it's what MN is here for. I hope we can give you some practical help or at least a space to come and say "aaaargh".

Have you spoken to anyone (bf counsellor) about your latch? Sounds like the sore nipple thing could be resolved by different positioning etc. HTH.

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LaDiDaDi · 03/08/2006 22:00

I think that it's the space to say aaaargh that I need as much as anything, though all of the advice is much appreciated sometimes it just helps when it's recognised that I'm doing my best in difficult circumstance. Thanks .

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FrannyandZooey · 03/08/2006 22:04

Yes I don't think we have gone on about that quite enough, have we

You are doing your best in very difficult circumstances, LaDiDaDi



It's good that you recognise that too, you should have it as your mantra.

For more advice on things like latch, dropping the bottles, etc, I would contact LLL. The volunteers there are fantastic.

Now let's have a group "aaaaaaaargh"

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squidgeymiller · 03/08/2006 22:15

Hi LaDiDa - I'm having similar issue with 11wk old at the mo and HV has diagnosed as teething - she's been really clingy, quite sick (coz she's over-feeding coz she wants to feed all the time) and a lot of the sick is lumpy like cottage cheese (apparently this is due to the fact that she's drooling a lot coz she's teething, and some of the excess saliva gets swallowed and curdles the milk in their stomach). Also the wanting to have your nipple in her mouth all the time is the same (I could have written half of your post!!). Anyway, not sure how it works with premie babies but baby bongela is allowed at 2mnths+ and has worked wonders for me - also a fridge-cold teether held for her has been great. She's still in pain and wants to feed quite a lot, but she is sleeping better and is not wanting to be held all the time any more.

It might not be the same thing but it's worth considering - teething hadn't even occured to me as a possible cause but it definitely seems to be the case.

I would check with your hv / mw re the bongela before giving to your DD though, as I said, I'm not sure how it works with premies.

Good luck and hope things get better

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LaDiDaDi · 03/08/2006 22:36

Thanks again. Feeling much better after the group aaaargh and getting dp to repeat the mantra to me .
I will look into the teething stuff squidgeymiller, it's not something I'd considered before.

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squidgeymiller · 06/08/2006 14:29

Hey LaDiDaDi - how's it going - have you got anywhere ?

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LaDiDaDi · 06/08/2006 22:42

Well, she's much better now that I carry her in a sling if she is unhappy. It's really helping me to tell the difference between her being hungry and just wanting more comfort.

I've also started a little bedtime routine for her! Can't believe I'm doing a routine as i sooo am not a routine type person because I am usually too disorganised. I have to say that it has worked really well so far and after bath at 7ish, bottle afterwards, cuddle and breastfeed she settles beautifully and for the past three evenings has slept from 8.30 9ish to midnight. I still have her downstairs with us in the evenings as we just like looking at her .

I do think that my breastmilk supply is pretty poor tbh but I know that she does get some milk that way and it seems to be a great comfort for her and a nice way for her to get off to sleep so I'm going to continue for now.

It's amazing how much difference a few days can make .

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LaDiDaDi · 07/08/2006 09:33

Last night she slept from 9pm to 5am!
My boobs were like rocks when she finally woke up hungry. I suppose that if I'mnot feeding her overnight then my milk supply will end up dropping further but that's a price I'm willing to pay .

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squidgeymiller · 07/08/2006 16:12

that's fab!

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