Stressed about breast feeding,can you answer my question

[malachismum]

Please dont think me stupid but how do you know when baby has emptied your breast?? I am planning to bf and am getting very stressed about it as I tried and failed with my first.
Should you offer the second breast? How do you know when first is empty and if you offer second and it wasnt emptied do you start on that side for the next feed?
Im 38 weeks and would like to feel confident.
thanks

[hairymclary]

your breasts will never empty, you produce milk constantly. I always let baby feed for as long as he wanted then swapped breasts if he wanted more.

if you're worried then why not get in touch with some local breastfeeding groups now? NCT or LLL? That way you already have a support network in place once baby is born

[malachismum]

I didnt have much success when ds was a week old. I phoned NCT councellors and felt even worse. One woman said she would come out if we needed her and when we asked she said it was too late.
I shouldnt be so defeatist as this was probably just a one off. And as I know things work themselves out eventually, but I cant stop stressing now, Im even having nightmares about bf!

[LIZS]

When they seem to have their fill of one (slepey , inetrets wandering etc) offer the other but they may not be bothered, espeiclaly in the early days. I'm afraid it isn't an exact science and takes a fair bit of practice before both you and your lo will fel confident so agree woith hairy that you wodul do well to have those support line numbers ready to hand, just in case. Perhaps you could even visit a local BF support group or cafe now to get some personal ideas as to what the early days can be like. I went along to an NHS antenatal group with 7 wk old ds to chat about it. Good luck

[hairymclary]

do a google for baby cafes. they're fab

[teabags]

when I bf, I would do 20-30 mins on one side and consider it empty afer that. then I'd swap. If he only had a small feed, I'd start on the side I last used . If the previous feed was say 10 mins, at the next feed I'd do another 10-15 mins on the same side then swap (if he wanted any mroe). It worked for me. I did call NCt when I was having a bad day and found them very helpful. hth

[flack]

What midwife said to me was feed off of one side, then burp baby, then offer the other side (baby may not want any, though). Start off next feed on the second side from the previous feed. It seemed like a good system to me.
If the baby wants to marathon feeding then just feed off of each side for 20-30 minutes before switching.

[kiskidee]

sometimes my dd would just fall off the breast and i would offer the other and let her refuse. if she was on one and started to fuss, i just swapped sides. at times i would swap 3, 4, or 5 times in a feed. it does not matter how many times you swap if your baby is fussy.

don't listen too much to any of the foremilk/hindmilk malarky babies leave your baby on as long or as little as they like, your body and your baby will sort things out.

where do you live? us MN'ers will help you find one wherever you are. if you do nothing else this coming week, attend a breast feeding support group or breast feeding cafe. that way after the baby is here, you know exactly where to go.

[kiskidee]

baby café

[tiktok]

malachismum, hope the stuff here will help you.

Sorry about the NCT experience - I am an NCT bf counsellor and I hate it when we fall short! Can you give me more details? Was it late at night when you asked her to visit you? NCT bfcs are all volunteers with their own families and jobs and so on. I know I have said 'yes, I'll come and see you if you like, just let me know' and then someone has then asked me to go round at a time which is not convenient or is, indeed, too late. I say I can't do it - we are rarely in a position to drop everything to do a visit. I'm now wondering if I was the bfc you felt let you down, sorry.

[SoupDragon]

I go by sound and feel. At the start of a feed there's lots of suck and no swallowing. hen the milk lets down and you get a load of gulping & swallowing which settles into a nice suck-swallow rhythm. Then you get more sucks per swallow and eventually end up with all suck and no swallow again. At this point if my breast has gone from feeling firm to all floppy I consider it techincally "empty" and see if my baby wants the other one. I always start with the breast I didn't start with at the last feed. If I remember which it is. IMO if you can't remember/work it out and you can't tell which breast is next, then it won't matter that time.

It's not an exact science and as everyone says, a breast is never truly empty. My method has always worked for me but it might not work for you. I'd get a bf-ing counsellor round straight away to set you off on the right foot.

[LDM]

Please Help!! Trying to wean my little girl ( 4 months) off the breast onto a bottle before I go back to work. So far, she refuses despite trying different teats, mixing formula with breast milk, leaving her with her Dad while I go out of the room etc.. Have tried nipple shields, they don't seem to be a problem. She still feeds around every 2 hours, even through the night. Does anyone have any suggestions?
LDM

[tiktok]

LDM, best to start a new thread. Lots of stuff about this sort of thing in the archives, too.

[malachismum]

Wow thanks ladies. Tiktok, I certainly dont feel let down by the NCT but perhaps this one lady. At my NCT Antenatal classes (which were fab) we had a bf councilor come in and she did rub a few people up the wrong way ie "if you have nipples you can feed theres no excuse" bit harsh I thought. Anyway she said to call her day or night and she could come out as it was her area etc and gave us all her number.
When we did call she said it was too late (to be fair it was 10pm) and she supposed we could go to her "but to be honest isnt ideal"!! So I felt like I was an inconvenience.
I will check out a cafe I think.

[MissChief]

my experience of a NCT bf counsellor during AN classes was similar but you are so much better prepared 2nd time round! I had hideious time with ds1, had to give up and felt so guilty..2nd time round it's been a breeze but done w/o the help this time from anyone else other than dh for support. I "knew" what to do, IFYKWIM and swore I wouldn't call any of the helplines which had let me down last time. MN is also a great source of help if you need it.
HTH - I'm speaking from my experience btw before anyone bites my head off for daring to criticise bf counsellors etc.. (yeah, i know they're tryping to help)
in summary anyway, you might find it much easier this time.. Good luck..

[USAUKMum]

Hi -- I wish you good luck with your feeding, don't get too stressed, "they" don't work as well then. I fed both my children till over a year. I always fed one side until they came off, or were just sucking but not swallowing. Then offered the second. Mine usually took both sides and fed about 40 min in total. Then start on the second side the next time around. As the baby gets older, they get quicker. Get the midwives / councellors at the hospital to check babys position.

[tiktok]

Really sorry, malachismum and MissChief. Classes should be used to boost confidence, but if anyone really said 'there's no excuse' that's just awful, and the counsellor concerned would be asked about this during supervision if you wanted to make a comment/complaint about her.

She sounds as if she has raised your expectations a bit too high about visits. 10pm is too late for me to go seeing someone - I would definitely say no - as visits take an hour at least, in my experience, and I simply would not go at that time. I would not have even invited you to come to see me either. Even taking the call at 10 pm is a lot to ask of a volunteer. It's not right to make people think we have a 'drop everything' service day and night, so she was wrong to give that impression.

With a mother of a baby aged a week, I would be encouraging the mother to call the midwife (whose job it is to see mothers at this time ) or at least the maternity unit. I would also undertake to speak to the mother the next day, and I always do that.

I know that when you are in that intense time with a tiny baby, it's this that is at the very centre of your world. It's easy to forget that the breastfeeding counsellor has her own family and her own personal needs.

We certainly do not expect counsellors to feel they have to take calls late at night (bf line shuts at 10 pm) and not to see women then, either. It's up to the counsellor to make this clear and to explain the alternatives - if not, then she is going to disappoint people.

If a class has left you feeling pressured or irritated, then say something. We can't improve if people say nothing

[malachismum]

Thanks TikTok. Ive gained a lot from the NCT (still see 4 other girls and their lo at least 3 times a week) so really its been very positive.
With ds my nipples were so bad that he was regurgatating blood and I had to remove bits of my nipple from his mouth, tmi sorry, still have the scars!
Anyway Im desperate to try again, havent been put off. I think MissChief your right, it might be easier this time as I already have a ds who has turned out to be a caring, well rounded little boy and I had some input in that lol so my confidence is higher which might mean I approach bf with a different attitude, who knows?
Hopefully it wont be too long now, Ill keep you posted.
Thankyou again.
Jess