So....last night I caved :(

(13 Posts)
SqueakdeSqueak Sat 09-Nov-13 08:19:48

I have BF my DD through both family and friends criticism ("she will sleep through if you FF, mine did" or "why are you still BF that's disgusting" etc.), she is now 2.3 and I am trying to stop.

She only feeds once a day just before bedtime, we currently co-sleep as well so that's not been at all controversial grin

I have reduced her time on the boob down to 15 seconds each side (I have been reducing by 5 seconds each week and I started at 2 mins per side when I decided to start the rundown) and then she didn't ask so I didn't offer and she slept without it, the next night she did ask and then again the third night she didn't then the 4th night she didn't either.

So we get to last night and I'm ashamed to admit she asked so I gave in as I was in such agony having not fed for 2 nights.

So I guess my question is; Does that now ruin it? Should I have held out and suffered? My DM (ever helpful) suggested I go to the doctors to get something to dry me up, I don't even know if something like that exists, and it's not like I have oversupply, I just don't want to be in pain for days as we go non booby!

tiktok Sat 09-Nov-13 09:04:20

Drying up meds are powerful and normally only given in dire circumstances (stillbirth, neonatal death) for the sake of the mother's distress.

What you are doing is gradually weaning from the breast - not 'caving'. This sort of on-again-off-again, don't offer-don't refuse method is fine and it's what a lot of longer-term breastfeeding mothers do. It's gentler on the body and gentle on the child.

There seems to be nothing amiss with what you are doing - why not carry on? smile

This is no business at all of your mother or anyone else, especially if their remarks are so critical sad

BlackberrySeason Sat 09-Nov-13 15:00:10

Squeak, lucky your dd having had bm and closeness at night with you for all that time. We did don't offer don't refuse to day wean and it worked brilliantly. DS (also 2.3) now feeds 3-4 times per night and I'm going to let him self wean as I think that will be nice and gentle, so I won't do anything and will just let things end naturally as he gets older and less interested!

So I don't think you caved and I think you are doing a great job smile

SqueakdeSqueak Sat 09-Nov-13 15:07:48

Thanks tiktok, I have followed the mumsnet guide of smile, nod and ignore, I've found that has helped a lot grin

I have had some RL support from local bosom buddies network and that has been great, it's just having the self confidence in what i'm doing is right to see it through to it's conclusion, what I have found however is that it's been so much less stressful than I thought.

So when I/she decides that no more is needed how long is it likely to hurt for, I wasn't rock hard last night but I was very tender and after all day with a mummy climbing toddler my boobies were not happy!

BlackberrySeason Sat 09-Nov-13 15:18:59

Can you just gently hand express to comfort on the nights she doesn't feed?

SqueakdeSqueak Sat 09-Nov-13 18:24:00

Hi Blackberry sorry didn't see your 1st post when I replied, thanks for that, i'm really lucky in that I didn't have any problems apart from incorrect latch which I managed to sort out in the first few days, your DS sounds like a lucky boy too grin

I did think about hand expressing but just thought that any removal of milk would encourage more production, but had she not asked last night I would have had to do something!

BlackberrySeason Sat 09-Nov-13 18:41:02

Thank you!!

I think gentle expressing just to comfort won't tell your body to produce the same amount of milk as a full feed, so I would if you feel sore.

SqueakdeSqueak Sat 09-Nov-13 19:13:16

Ok, will give that a go if she doesn't feed for a couple days, although I do expect she'll ask again before that happens as she is such a booby monster, for the first 4 months of her life I barely left the sofa, if she wasn't sleeping she was feeding!!

RandomMess Sat 09-Nov-13 19:18:06

Aw bless, do you really mind if she gradually weans herself? Is it you wanting to stop or do you just think it's time?

I used to express off just enough to relieve the pain whilst my boobs adjusted to not needing to produce as much milk.

SqueakdeSqueak Sat 09-Nov-13 19:25:42

Partly I think it's time, partly I would like it to be her choice as well, partly my other half would really like his bed back grin as he didn't feel comfortable sharing the bed with us both and he was worried about squishing her.

That's definitely something I'll need to get used to again its been so nice just having the bed practically to myself, although I'm fairly certain I won't miss getting kicked in the head as he's unlikely to turn himself all the way around whilst sleeping!

RandomMess Sat 09-Nov-13 19:29:35

grin

I don't think it's a huge issue if she's only having some every few days, it's a more gradual weaning process.

PurplePidjin Sat 09-Nov-13 20:05:50

Could you look at the feeding and sleeping as separate issues? Maybe start by getting her into her big girl bedroom, with a comfy chair with lots of cushions, and go to her to feed? (i do this with my nearly 1 yo and have done since he was 5 months) then you can go back to sharing with your OH and night wean gently. You might even find she sleeps better on her own once she's used to the idea?

If you're happy with your choices, don't let others put you off. Only change things if you need things to be different

SqueakdeSqueak Sat 09-Nov-13 22:18:02

Her bedroom is being decorated at the moment, so I am also trying to coincide no booby with moving into her own bedroom. She does have a toddler bed in our room that she sleeps in sometimes so I don't think that will be too much of an issue.

She doesn't feed in the night anymore and not reliably self settles, so it is just the one feed we are dropping.

I do think you are right though and she probably will sleep better when she's in her own room, as she does toss and turn as do I blush

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