Yesterday, I was waiting on the grass next to the bus stop with my 14moDD. I rarely need to feed her in public now, but it was hot, she was tired and fractious and I had her in the front sling ready to get on the bus. She started crying and tugging at my top so eventually I let her latch on.
Her floppy hat covered everything up, but it was probably clear that I was feeding her because of the position of her head.
Middle aged lady at the bus stop noticed me latching her on and continued staring and commenting to her friend, who turned round to have a not-so-subtle stare. There was no friendliness in either of their expressions and I felt uncomfortable. This continued on the bus. DD was asleep by then and no longer feeding.
When we got off, I saw both of them rubbernecking out of the corner of my eye.
DD is tall and solid and could easily pass for 18months+, so I imagine this was behind it (not that this excuses them). It was only after I began to feed her that the attention started, so I am assuming that was the issue.
I am expecting to be handed a grip here, but am crap with confrontation and yet would have loved to have let those women know how rude they were being (without making a a scene
).
Couldn't shake the feeling that we were doing something 'wrong', hence it still bothering me now.
This isn't even necessarily a breastfeeding thing. I am sure most people have been stared at rudely for one thing or another.
What do you do?
Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.
Infant feeding
If you're bfing a toddler, how do you react to 'funny' looks or comments?
ByHecuba · 21/07/2013 00:44
Never had a negative comment. I fed ds3 and ds4 till they were two.
I did assume a bunch of people were staring at me once on the train but then when they got off at their station, I realised they all had white sticks so it was highly unlikely than any of them had enough vision to be able to stare at me!
chip
I honestly thought about smiling at them, but I couldn't summon one up! Such a cats bum face
ab00- It is sad too that that worry is there. Even my family exchange little smirks if I feed DD now, which I find most upsetting. Both Mum and Grandma stopped at 6 weeks, so they don't try to understand.
I have had a share of sling-disapproval, although to be fair, it seems to be split between the 'what a lovely way to travel' group who are great, and the frowny 'doesn't she hurt your back/isn't she a bit big?' brigade. I had her in the sling to start with and they weren't staring at first, so I am inclined to think it was the feeding.
Deadly- one relative told me she'd get fat if I carried her around all the time, so I took her out and watched with glee as it took us twenty minutes to walk about 10 metres. They were happy for her to go back in the rucksack then.
Counting- I was mostly trying to do that, but finding them too obvious to ignore!
Thanks all
Oh god, I've got a 14 month old DS and am starting to worry about this, then feeling cross with myself for being bothered 
As an aside, how do you carry your DD on your front? It makes my back ache just thinking about it
I'm going underground when my dd gets to over one. Not even going to tell work people. I am a GP and lots of drs don't seem to get bfing after a year. 
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Emily- I went to look at prams at an independent baby shop a few months ago and the man who ran it went on and on about this customer of his, whose 2 year old ran up to her and " lifted up her top. I mean I didn't know where to look! I mean that's a bit much isn't it? ...and did you know some women never get a pram.. they just use slings " and rant rant rant about doulas etc.
I just muttered lamely about the WHO recommending bfing to at least 2 and then left and never went back (and never got a pram either!)
What a way to alienate customers, the twat.
Lily, Starball and Aiden, I am very envious of your devil-may-care attitude. I need to grow a backbone I think.
Bill- she is wanting milk a lot more too in this weather, you'd think people would understand.
Tricky- I never carry her for long like this; she got too heavy at about 10 months However, on the bus she sits on my knee and we look out of the window (and it stops her running off!)
Nicknamefail- It is crap that you have to feel like this. Could you not make a point and educate your fellow GPs? Judging from some things I've read, I reckon a lot of people on MN would really thank you for it![smile}
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