Dropping the bedtime feed - last one to go

[BettyStogs]

I am gradually stopping bf 21mo DS,and we're now down to just bf at bedtime, I literally have no idea how to drop this one - he bfs to sleep, and although on the odd occasion when I have been out in the evening he settles ok for DH, but I don't think he would settle if I'm around.

I don't know whether to just stop & tell him the milk's all gone, or gradually introduce a cup at bedtime, and reduce the bf.

Does anyone have any success stories for stopping bf at this age? He has adjusted really well to no milk in the day, and although he still asks first thing in the morning (dropped this one about 2 weeks ago) he is relatively easy to distract with toys, books, breakfast etc. It's just the complete change in bedtime routine that I am concerned about.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I just waited till DH was home for a week and then made sure I was out at bedtime for a few nights. DH offered milk in a cup.

[StrangerintheNight]

This week I have just told my 18 month old that he's such a big boy now, so there's no more milk at bedtime. Touch wood, he's accepted it, and didn't complain. He did get an extra story though...

Haven't substituted for any other milk at bedtime, as was told it's not great for their teeth, unless you brush after of course.

Hope it goes smoothly. I was apprehensive about the change in routine with both my DCs, but as so often with kids, they accepted the change much more easily than expected.

[BettyStogs]

Thanks for the replies. We told him on Thursday night that Mummy's milk had all gone and he accepted it pretty much straight away! Think I was more upset about the end of bf than he was.

DH & I are taking it in turns to settle him, at the moment staying with him till he's asleep. Still a long way off from being able to put him in his cot awake & leave him, which is the ultimate aim, but it's not a bad start. He seems to be dropping off to sleep at about the same time as when he was bf to sleep.

He's having milk in a cup at bedtime, which as Stranger says isn't great for his teeth, but we will move this to before bath time soon so not too worried about it as a short term thing.

[frankietwospots]

Hi BettyStogs, I could have written exactly the same message as you! My DS is coming up to 18 months and we too dropped the morning feed two weeks ago. He still tries it on (points to boob, says 'More?' and then smiles sweetly) but I can easily distract him with books. The bedtime feed is a different proposition altogether although I don't always feed to sleep. It depends how zonked he is, but he can go to sleep on his own which is good. I've just introduced a bedtime story in the hope that he will eventually want the book more than the feed but I'm still nervous about the big change that it will entail. I know a lot of people get DH to put the baby to bed instead but he is bound to call out for me and will get distressed if he thinks I'm not in the house. Sorry, I'm not offering any advice but will watch this thread with interest!

[frankietwospots]

Oh wow, sounds like things have gone really well! I might have to try the 'Mummy's milk is all gone' approach!

[StrangerintheNight]

Glad it's gone well. We're on night 4 without the bedtime feed, and no problems so far, so next stage will be getting DH to put him to bed, but I'll give it a couple of weeks before I make myself truly dispensable.

[BettyStogs]

They really are more adaptable than we give them credit for aren't they?

Frankie hope it works for you too. DS has stopped asking for milk in the morning now, think 'no milk' is less confusing than 'milk sometimes' even though he sort of knew it was only for bedtime for the last couple of weeks