Please tell me how to get baby to take a bottle.

(36 Posts)
Cupcakemummy85 Fri 14-Jun-13 13:51:54

My dd is 18 weeks and breast feeding has been so traumatic from the start (constant cluster feeds, tongue tie, cmpi and now mastitis). I'm very much ready to give up but dd has other ideas. We have every bottle on the market and she won't except any of them. Her special formula, cow and gate pepti, she won't even try and I'm so fed up. I'm on antibiotics for the mastitis and its really the last straw for me. Dd1 who is 23 months needs me too and I have managed to put her to bed once since having dd2. I feel extremely guilty for both girls. I could really do with some advise. The doctor and hv said if she's hungry she will take it and the paed said to start weaning her and carry on bf. I personally don't think she is ready to b weaned yet. What do I do sad

ljny Fri 14-Jun-13 13:57:08

Do you have a partner who can give the bottle? It may take some persistence. If you're the one holding DD, and she can smell and see your breast so close, she's less likely to accept something new (bottle).

Also - don't wait until she's going crazy with hunger. Keep offering the bottle when she's a bit hungry.

Good luck!

Cupcakemummy85 Fri 14-Jun-13 14:44:19

Thank you. I might try with the next feed. Last time I tried to do just bottles she only took two ounces per feed and then started rejecting the bottle altogether and arching her back every time the bottle came near her.

ladypop Fri 14-Jun-13 14:58:05

I really feel for you - our DS1 was the same, although I was returning to work which was my motivation and it really stressed me out....I didn't have same issues with bf as you, so can only sympathise! It just took gentle persistence with various bottles, temperatures and milk. He eventually took the Medea special needs feeder, but tbh there is little point me suggesting a bottle as every baby is different and will find their own fave.... Eventually! think it is rubbish that the hv said she will eat if hungry, it just seems to get then more worked up the hungrier they are in my experience. Sorry I don't have any real words of advice, just to let you know you are not alone and I am sure others will be along soon with other suggestions. Keep your chin up and I am sure you will get there. Big hug, you are doing amazingly smile

Cupcakemummy85 Fri 14-Jun-13 16:05:45

Thank you ladypop. I was thinking about those medela special needs feeders as I saw them on an episode of baby whisperer and that was going to b my last ditch attempt at trying something new. I honestly thought I was going to feed dd2 until she was over a year old but I just don't think I can do it. She's never settled and I think she would b better of with a bottle. My diet is so restricted I'm starting to feel more depressed by the day and I'm on antidepressants lol

happydaze77 Fri 14-Jun-13 16:43:04

Dd was a bottle refuser at that age.
Fortunately it wasn't as urgent a problem for us so we just tried it now and again. One day (for no apparent reason) it just clicked and she managed it. She was about 5 months I think.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that one day it might just magically work, and maybe/hopefully soon.
Good luck.
Oh and there's some school of thought for not trying loads of different bottles, just stick to one, as they get more practice at it, iyswim?
Hope that all made sense.

Cupcakemummy85 Fri 14-Jun-13 18:57:22

You are right happydaze I will stick to one bottle I think. Should I try everyday? And should I try with her special formula or with water? I am wasting a lot of formula try her with a bottle. My dj and I just spent the last hour trying to give her a bedtime bottle and she screamed the whole time. I caved in and now I'm in bed feeding her. The paediatrician said to start weaning her now and I thought she wasn't ready but someone bought up a good point and said listen to the expert, they know what they are taking about. It's very true. Perhaps weaning will help settle her a bit? I'm so tired and run down, I honestly thought I would love breast feeding this time round.

McBaby Fri 14-Jun-13 19:30:10

Had terrible problems BF here too with recurrent mastitis and tongue tie which needed 4 cuts (between 2-6 months old) My DD was also a bottle refuser and allergic to formula. I tried every bottle going but no success but the doidy cup was much more successful.

She is ten months now and we either bf of use the doidy. My DP can get her to sleep with the doidy.

MumnGran Fri 14-Jun-13 19:34:47

Cupcake, my heart goes out to you. It is just so difficult when they won't accept a bottle.
I went through it when my DD2 was just on 5 months,.....and she never did have a bottle!! ended up going straight on to a sippy cup, as she refused all attempts at bottles (including the attempt by know-it-all HV, who was insistent I must be doing it wrong!)

18 weeks is obviously a bit younger, but I would try a careful attempt at giving a sippy cup. There is nothing to lose smile

Fingers crossed for you.

MumnGran Fri 14-Jun-13 19:36:11

...meant to say that I dried up, so had no choice but to find a.n.other option!

NutellaLawson Fri 14-Jun-13 19:41:47

my hv said mine would take a bottle if he was hungry enough. WRONG. He went sixteen hours without milk at 4 months old. I've never heard him cry like that, so I gave in and offered boob.

I can't help, really because we have tried all sorts and still (age 9 months) he refuses a bottle.

hungry enough is rubbish help. it wasn't true in our case.

squirting milk in with a syringe was the only way to get milk in but what a battle (and not very practical). have you tried cups?

Cupcakemummy85 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:57:11

I did try a sippy cup the other day but it seems whenever something is put in her mouth that isn't my nipple, ie, bottle, dummy or sippy cup she totally freaks out. I'm so worried about weaning now as I think she will hate having a spoon offered to her. It's really effecting me to the point I can't eat, my stomach is in knots with nerves and worry. Every time I put my foot down and say I'm not breast feeding anymore she screams the house down and I give in.
I've heard so many mums tell me their children refused the bottle and went ages without anything to drink. One lady said her son ended up in hospital because he was so dehydrated. How can these hcp offer out this awful and potentially dangerous advise?!
I'm really hoping she will love being weaned like dd1. I'm so scared of it now. I feel like I'm scared of my own child. I just can't take the screaming anymore.

MumnGran Fri 14-Jun-13 20:00:14

Have you tried tipping milk in from the end of a pointy teaspoon ....so it doesn't actually go into her mouth?
Just a thought ... but if she would accept even a little, that way, then you could work up to putting a fraction more teaspoon into her mouth each time.
Feeds are going to take a while though sad

Think you need wine

happydaze77 Fri 14-Jun-13 20:57:47

I would use expressed breast milk or formula as I would have thought that she would prefer the taste of milk, not water. Also, serve the milk quite warm, as it would be if she were breastfeeding. I found this made a big difference.
With regards to weaning, I understand what you mean about trusting experts, but you should also trust your instincts. If you feel she isn't ready, then maybe she isn't. I was advised to wean at 4 1/2 months, by my hv, for no reason other than 'she's old enough now' (?!) Stupidly I tried it and she became very unsettled and constipated. One night she screamed so much I called nhs direct for help. (I'm not a panicky person)
I went straight back to ebf, and tried again a month later and she took to it really well, and became a much more settled baby.
Also (and I know this is easier said than done) try not to get to stressed about trying - your dd will pick up on it. I second the advice about getting someone else to do it, while you are out of the room.

happydaze77 Fri 14-Jun-13 21:03:38

Most breastfeeding advice sites now say that what you eat does not affect your baby's breastmilk, so I wouldn't worry about cutting out certain foods. You need your treats at times like these! brew

Jojay Fri 14-Jun-13 21:20:08

It's a tough situation. So she's cow's milk intolerant? What symptoms did she have to indicate this and are you off dairy too? Has you cutting out dairy made a noticeable difference?

Sorry for all the questions but it does make your situation a bit different to the usual 'my baby won't take a bottle' scenario.

As you've probably discovered, hypoallergenic formulas smell and taste revolting and persuading an order baby to take them (as opposed to a newborn) is a challenge in itself, with or without a bottle refusing issue thrown into the mix.

Has the tongue tie been sorted? Is it painful to feed any more?

Have you considered trying to make bfing work? I understand how frustrating the diet restrictions are - I was off dairy too for 6 months while feeding my cows milk allergic twins. But there is lots of nice food out there that is dairy free, if you know where to look. Jaffa cakes, Green and Blacks dark chocolate, Soreen Banana loaf, Sacla Aubergine Pesto are a few products that made life worth living when I was off dairy.

In a couple of months or so, your DD will start to cut back on bfeeds naturally as solids are introduced, and bfing is suddenly a lot less daunting when you are not their only source of food!

It might be less stressful in the long run to hang on in there a bit longer.

Best of luck smile

MrsWooster Fri 14-Jun-13 21:23:27

Get someone else to do it - don't even be in the room when someone else is trying to feed her. She can smell/sense you.

Cupcakemummy85 Fri 14-Jun-13 21:48:38

jojay she is intolerant to cows milk protein the paed said, I am totally off dairy, well as far as I know, something's have a trace but I'm trying not to b too restrictive. When I was on dairy and when she took normal formula in the early days her pops had a lot of mucus and big white lumps in it, she screamed even more than she does now, very very windy (bottom wind lol) and never really settled to sleep, despite gaining a good amount of weight.
To be honest, now I've had an evening to myself and a glass if wine I feel a lot calmer about things. I really feel my gut instinct is to hold off on the weaning, as much as I want to crack on with it and fill her up lol.
I will go out tomorrow and buy lots of Jaffa cakes, hopefully they will keep me sane for a while.

Cupcakemummy85 Fri 14-Jun-13 21:50:12

Oh and the tongue tie was cut and apart from the mastitis it isn't sore to feed.
Thank you so much for telling me about green and blacks chocolate!!!!! My hips and thighs won't thank you but my sanity will lol.

Jojay Fri 14-Jun-13 21:52:49

Go onto the allergy board on here, there's of threads for those on restricted diets - some fab tips and recipes. So glad you're feeling better about everything smile

Jojay Fri 14-Jun-13 21:55:01

This thread was a godsend. I know you're not egg free, but it has loads of ideas and will help when you come to weaning too.

Nightfall1983 Fri 14-Jun-13 22:03:32

Two thoughts from a fellow mother of a CMPI baby, possible not that helpful but DS always loved bottles (and hated the breast):

1) the pepti formula milk is hydrolysed which means they do something to remove/change the protein so that it is digested. If baby has a serious intolerance this might not be enough because the milk is still based on cows milk. It is possible she is rejecting it because it still hurts her. DS has Neocate formula milk which is amino acid based and now from cows, it is impossible to be allergic to it.

2) I wouldn't wean at 18 weeks either, ESP if you don't think she is ready however to make the (frankly disgusting) formula more palatable you could try adding some flavouring - the following are favoured by fellow CMPI sufferers: vanilla essence or plain cocoa powder or nesquik strawberry powder...

CandyPop Fri 14-Jun-13 22:11:03

I feel for u as I had a bottle refuser. She took random bottles from 3 weeks and then around 3 months she suddenly rejected it . I tried every trick in the book ... Sorry you know this already but after vast amount of research here are some tricks that have worked for some ppl ;
-different bottles , different teat flows
- slightly warmer milk then u think it should be
- different person give bottle with you out of the house (apparently they can smell u even if ur in a different room !)
- giving them the bottle in a different position then how u would have her when breastfeeding ie. slightly sitting up or give her the bottle lying her on bed/floor
- giving bottle when she's not due a feed so not too hungry (less likely to fuss and be angry)

When we initially tried, my LO behaved the same as yours, arching back , pushing teat out of her mouth, getting very stressed from it. We kept trying it now and again with no luck. And then last week, I tried the bottle with her lying on the floor just before her late afternoon feed (she wasn't too hungry and was pretty happy) she didnt spit out teat but didnt such bottle either and took a couple ounces. Then on the 3rd day whilst sitting on my lap, I pop the bottle in and she just started taking it!! What I'm trying to say, sometimes its luck, they just change their minds suddenly for no reason. So keep trying , main thing is, if she does get quite stress , I would stop doing it for a couple days then try again. You don't want them to start associating the bottle with being stressed. Good luck ! My LO is 7 months btw!

Cupcakemummy85 Fri 14-Jun-13 23:02:33

What an amazing thread joy I think I might have to go out and buy a lot of the things listed lol.
You are so right nightfall the pepti is gross as are all the special formulas. I've tried them and they make me gag. It's like bitter smash lol.
Reading a few threads here and there are people who cut out gluten, eggs, wheat AND dairy out of their diet to breast feed their children. What else is there left to eat?! Lol should I do the same.
candy I will try those techniques you suggested and hopefully dd will respond well to them.

TooManyDicksOnTheDancefloor Sat 15-Jun-13 14:44:32

I've just been through this and now dd takes a bottle! I ended up going cold turkey, I refused to breastfeed her and kept trying the bottle all day. She would arch her back, push the teat out with her tongue and cry, as soon as she became distressed I would stop and distract her. She was taking small amount of milk and juice from a doidy cup so I knew she wasn't dehydrated. After 21 hours (can't believe I held out that long) she took a bottle! She was sat in her chair with the tv on to distract her. I found NUK latex teats to be the best, she wouldn't even have a silicone teat in her mouth.

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