Okay, I am starting to struggle with settling my 3.5mo DTs. They are EBF, on demand, putting on weight well (12lb 2 and 11lb 7, from starting weights of 6lb 4 and 6lb 3). I generally feed them on a tandem feeding cushion at the same time so that they stay roughly on the the same schedule during the day ( am not partic routine driven but I do like them to be awake and asleep roughly at the same time to avoid going entirely insane).. They nap 3 times a day - generally on me (ie they fall asleep feeding) or in the pram/sling/car. Both have v occasionally fallen asleep spontaneously but it's v rare. They feed every 2-3 hours, occasionally longer but I aim towards the 2 hr end of the spectrum in the hope they got tanked up at night.
I can cope with all this but the nighttime routine is currently killing me. Normal approach is nappy free time, bath (they enjoy it, I don't mind it and it tires them out), then dressed Nd into sleeping bags, I take them downstairs for the last feed, curtains closed, tv on low, generally it's just me and them so no distractions really. They feed and feed and feed... And feed some more. There is tons of 'comfort' sucking - like they could keep going for hours. If I try to take them off after 20-30 mins of comfort sucking 50% of the time they ping awake or one does (normally DTS) and trying to move one sleeping baby and one awake baby does not work. Then I end up with 2 awake babies, DTD is tired and really truly wants to sleep but needs another 30 mins feeding/comfort sucking to settle while DTS generally has had enough of a power nap to be in squealing loud wriggly form.
I can't leave them to cry - it's just not something I can do but DH is rarely home for bedtime so I have to manage on my own.
Ay hints or words of wisdom? When they fall asleep contentedly on me and I manage to transfer them to bed (no mean feat!) I can see that this is best but tonight, DH is just home and I have left him downstairs with DTS while I take DTD upstairs and try to feed her into submission and she has been feeding since 6.30! Then I will have to do it all over again with him...
Why can't you leave them to cry? Because you think it's cruel? Assuming you don't want to continue "putting" them to sleep for years then at some point they're going to have to learn to go to sleep for themselves. In my experience, sleep training is easier when you do it earlier and everyone benefits. Both my DD and DS were much happier once they learned to self-soothe and we all got better sleep! If you're still unconvinced why not consider how your current system will work as the twins turn into crawling, walking toddlers!
I follow the easy routine advocated by the baby whisperer that is Eat - ie feed them Activity - eg bath time Sleep - put them I'm crib/cot preferably while they are awake to learn to self settle. If they cry soothe and resettle. You time.
We follow this and it worked for DS and dd both excellent sleepers and we never had to even consider leaving them to cry and pretty quickly they got the bed at night thing.
Hi button, I don't think the first reply you've got is particularly helpful and I also don't think that leaving 3 month old babies to cry is a good idea! They of course won't be feeding on the breast feeding pillow when they're toddlers and by then you will have developed other strategies to get them to sleep!
If what you are doing is working, keep with it, they are still very little and will soon feed much less. However, if you feel like you can't cope with breast feeding them to sleep every night (it does sound like very hard word), you could try and say give them a bottle (ebm if you prefet) perhaps which may fill them up quicker and send them to sleep quicker? Not sure though.
I've got 8 month old twins but my dp is always home for bedtime so I think you are seriously amazing (times 100!!) for doing it on your own!!! I don't know how you do it!! So just do whatever you can to get through it and they will change soon anywAy. I bf my twins and for the first 5 months they were just constantly on my boobs!!! So much less so now and it's a real relief. I think I will burn my Brest friend feeding pillow soon! Fwiw, I give them a bottle before bed and tried to do this from about 10 weeks as it made bedtime go quicker. Dtg bottle refused for ages though.
Anyway don't think I've been much help but you really sound like you're doing great!