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How to stay awake during night feeds part 10!

(626 Posts)
abi2790 Mon 20-May-13 07:12:20

Brand new thread grin

abi2790 Tue 21-May-13 08:28:28

I am shattered! Ds has been awake since 6 and fed fine for about 20 minutes but then wouldn't stop screaming. I've finally managed to rock him to sleep but I wish I could go back to sleep for an hour.

I think the news about SIDS this morning is very hard hitting. In the first few weeks I felt horrible for falling asleep with ds but my midwife/ hv said not to feel bad and it was okay occasionally. Now I sometimes bring him into bed with me early in the morning when he refuses to go back to sleep. The man on BBC breakfast is horrible. He just basically said if you have been trying for a baby for a while it would be terrible to wake to "a dead baby in your arms." Why say that?! I though co-sleeping had benefits whilst breast feeding?!

MrsNPattz Tue 21-May-13 09:00:25

Only awake once here last night!! smile We co slept again, also worried about the reports this morning although it's always been claimed that there is more of a risk when co sleeping hasn't it?

re the news story on bed sharing. It says 22% of SIDS deaths are down to bed sharing, but 88% of those were avoidable if the sharing had been done correctly. So talk about scaremongering - its not the sharing that is the problem but doing it unsafely. I was majorly pissed off by this one! Ultra pissed off too about all the stuff that says its extra dangerous for prems - there is no research that backs this up, or at least no research that discounts the fact that prems are more likely to have other things wrong with them anyway.

Bah humbug. Sorry for rant. I just get so annoyed by the myriad things showered upon us about how wrong we are doing things as parents. Everyone else seems to know better!

And breathe. Sorry. Will shuffle away gently now...

Emilythornesbff Tue 21-May-13 09:04:12

any you can assure him that I too am sitting in an untidy house feeding my baby.
If I get "time to myself" it will be by taking dd out for a long walk in her pram. Then she gets a decent nap and I gt some fresh air, exercise and head space. There is no time of actual respite tbh. But I do enjoy the walks.
I will make dinner but I make something for about 5pm so ds can eat. Anyone who doesn't want to eat then can have a reheated meal or a take away. I would not be able, ever, to get a meal ready for 7 or 8 if I hadn't per-cooked it. Never, never, ever.
Never.
Never, ever.

Send him round here for a day and he'll soon realise how goodhe has it at home. grin

Emilythornesbff Tue 21-May-13 09:08:00

The SIDS news has stressed me out.
I was aware of the issue but always kidded myself that dd would be ok as I don't drink and neither of us smoke etc.
I think more detail on the subject would be helpful tbh.
Now I am ore determined to get her to settle in her cot.
How the hell that's gonna happen I don't know.

Emilythornesbff Tue 21-May-13 09:09:45

Good point goats

larlemucker Tue 21-May-13 09:24:55

Same here Emily. I'm now worried what we will do as he doesn't sleep for longer than an hour in his cot. Surely severe sleep deprivation is more dangerous?

MrsNPattz Tue 21-May-13 10:26:07

Goat I'm glad you have put some perspective on the subject, thank you! I always do it safely - little man goes on top of the duvet and away from the pillow, and we sleep on a futon which is floor level (not that a normal bed is unsafe, but it's just me and little man in bed so he's not blocked in).

I do it purely to get more sleep, not because little man won't settle in the cot! So I'm maybe being selfish sad

Anypants Tue 21-May-13 11:03:50

I've not co-slept as DH is a spread out sleeper so there's only just enough room for me blush but I think if you're comfortable doing it, and it works for you, why is it wrong? A dummy is said to reduce SIDS so by not giving DD one, am I doing her harm? No! If there was an absolute right way of doing things, a manual would be handed to you on the labour ward and none of us would be able to 'get it wrong'. Whoever it was said that sleep deprivation is worse was spot on.

lazzaroo Tue 21-May-13 11:06:43

any I'm just sat on the sofa with a cup of tea watching This morning....oh, I'm feeding little one, my tea is cold because I made it ages ago & not had chance to drink it, the latest nap was just 30mins so I'm surrounded by half finished jobs, I've dropped dd1 at pre-school & been to the shops etc etc Feel free to send DH around if he wants to see a house truly in chaos! wink

Anypants Tue 21-May-13 11:10:07

And thanks Em - i'm shocked that it's not just me shock . Shocked I tell you.

He suggested something 'simple' for dinner so tonight, it's pasta bake a la microwave. Yum.

Anypants Tue 21-May-13 11:18:17

And you lazza? Really? I don't believe it. Cold coffee - yup. Dead flowers in a vase that I stare at whilst feeding and keep meaning to throw away - yup. That cobweb in the corner that I keep looking at too but never getting to it - yup. I might start a pinterest board of pictures of mothers during the day, just so I can verify the normality of it. Or, I could secretly hire a cleaner. hmm

abi2790 Tue 21-May-13 11:40:30

I wouldn't worry about co-sleeping. I'm sure you and your babies is much more dangerous in the long run as there is an extremely small chance something could happen whilst co-sleeping which we all knew anyway.

Hope everyone has a good day smile.

abi2790 Tue 21-May-13 11:40:35

I wouldn't worry about co-sleeping. I'm sure you and your babies is much more dangerous in the long run as there is an extremely small chance something could happen whilst co-sleeping which we all knew anyway.

Hope everyone has a good day smile.

MrsNPattz Tue 21-May-13 12:05:59

Yea I don't give a dummy either Any!

larlemucker Tue 21-May-13 12:47:22

No we don't use dummies although thinking of trying again to see if we can get back down to a couple of feeds a night.
Baby larle has his legs on top of duvet and we have a big gap between our pillows for his head and torso. He would have to roll quite a bit to be in the pillows.

Going to try having naps back in cot again. In really worried now. What to do????

larlemucker Tue 21-May-13 12:48:06

Oh and I've recently read an article the boing group lady posted on FBI saying co-sleeping reduces SIDS

larlemucker Tue 21-May-13 12:48:21

Booby not boing!!

SoYo Tue 21-May-13 13:05:45

I've just read the paper on co-sleeping and if your baby is older than 3mth & you have no other risk factors there isn't an additional risk. This paper doesn't actually talk about safe vs unsafe co-sleeping although others have & obviously duvets or pillows near baby make it unsafe and it's likely this has been a factor because the paper mentions that the coroner has listed a large amount of these deaths as suffocation. I'll try to link to the full text.

We co-sleep for a couple of hours in the morning with duvet & pillows well away from Bubs & as she's 3mths next week I'm not planning on stopping but I guess everyone has to decide what's the right thing for them.

Any I'm currently surrounded by a spotless house but that's because my parents came & cleaned yesterday blush, before that it was a sight! Plus I rarely cook dinner, if DH was waiting for that we'd be eating soup at 10pm every night! I have to admit I don't watch Jeremy Kyle, it's neighbours here and old episodes of friends and Fraser!

link to paper

So the results are in. I am a bad mummy because...
I co cleep
I ff from 16 weeks
I rock BG to sleep
I let him sleep on his front
I am an elderly first-time mum
I let him fall over when he is trying to pull himself up (has already learned to sit down in a hurry!)
I fed him purees only for a couple of months.

Excellent. BG only seems to think I am a bad mummy when I do something outrageous like... ooh, making him lie down for a nappy change. (Shock! Horror!)
I guess his opinion will do me. smile

larlemucker Tue 21-May-13 14:18:16

Lol goat!!

abi2790 Tue 21-May-13 14:50:12

Haha Goat!

Had Ds weighed today and he's 17 lbs 10 now smile. I mentioned the rash and it seems it's either viral or heat rash. He has had these purple blotches on his right leg for a while though that were spotted by the nurse. I had gp look at them at his 8 week check but they were more red then. He's 25 weeks now and they're purple and when you press on his leg more appear which I hadn't noticed before. Taking him to gp tomorrow.

larlemucker Tue 21-May-13 15:25:23

Hope it's nothing serious abi.

Am I a bad mummy as baby larle has just had no nappy time in the garden, in the mottled shade of the tree. God why do I do this to myself? Worried now that the 10 mins he didn't have a nappy on he might have got too much sun on his bits, even though he wasn't in direct sunlight.
FGS does the worrying/panicking ever stop?

abi2790 Tue 21-May-13 18:45:55

Thanks larle. And nope I never stop worrying about Ds!

Bedtime feed here finally. I'm shattered. I definitely need an early night!

Emilythornesbff Tue 21-May-13 19:57:01

grin goat another oldie here.
And my ds loves being cuddled to sleep. blush

Hey ho.
Dd is asleep on my lap. I am waiting for her to move into deep sleep before attempting transfer to her cot.
I will be trying to have her sleep in her cot, and it seems reasonable in the cold light of day. It's just so hard at night. Sleep consumes me wheni'm feeding. It's like saying to me " when that Lorry hits you don't fall down, just stay on your feet"
But I will try.
See you later.

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