The dr made me feel bad today :(

(42 Posts)

Dd is 19 months old and still breastfeeding.

We recently returned from abroad (a "at risk" country) and dd has developed a severe diaorreah.

So worried I took her twice to a&e in the past 2 days, the dr said not to worry as long as she is still drinking fluid (bf being absolutely fine with him) but to bring her back if she starts vomiting.

She vomited twice during the night, so I took her back this morning to a&e.

I saw a different dr who said to me that bf is useless after 6 months and why am I still doing it.

He said we have to force fluid down her with a syringe and that's it, no more bm.

Then the nurse came and dd was crying from being force fed, the nurse said not to comfort her just let her cry.

I asked to leave at that point but they wouldn't let me and said if I leave now they would report me to social services for neglect. They wanted me to force feed her the drink before leaving.

I did what they asked and then left asap.

I am now back home feeling terrible, and wondering am I really neglecting my child by bf her?

TwitchyTail Thu 16-May-13 20:17:05

Doctors know nothing about breastfeeding. I should know, I'm a doctor. We get about an hour on it at medical school if we're lucky hmm The experienced folk on here know far, far more.

Email your experience to the hospital's PALS department, then forget about those idiots and enjoy bfeeding your daughter until you both decide the time is right to stop.

If you want to leave hospital, they should have asked you to sign a 'waiver' stating that you left against their wishes and if anything were to happen to your baby it would be your 'fault'.

(I demanded to leave the big hospital when DS was 4 days old - they wanted me to stay in and BF him - we were having so much trouble BF and I couldn't see how staying on a noisy ward with 13 other ladies and their new babies would help - I had to sign this waiver).

Fanny,

I called my surgery as soon as I got of the plane on Monday, I took her to a&e Tuesday, Wednesday and today because she was getting worst,

We are still waiting for the stool analyse results (from Monday) to know exactly what is wrong with her.

Will look into the local policy when she is better

weebarra Thu 16-May-13 15:51:23

Please think about complaining. My DS2 had a vomiting bug when he was 2 and the only thing he could keep down was breastmilk. The GP told me that it was the only reason he wasn't on a drip in hospital. You are not a bad mum!

FannyFifer Thu 16-May-13 15:51:04

Why didn't you make a GP appointment?

WouldBeHarrietVane Thu 16-May-13 15:46:26

Op please don't blame yourself. It can be very difficult to challenge hcps when you are 'in the moment'.

I had to call one of the bf helplines when I was in a similar position (ds less unwell though) and they gave me info I used to seek a second opinion.

WoTmania Thu 16-May-13 15:45:46

What a distressing situation for both you and your DD. Please do complain - the dr needs some extra training breastmilk isn't 'useless beyond 6 months' just for starters and that could be very damaging misinformation if he said it to for example a first time mum of an 8 mo.

tiktok Thu 16-May-13 15:44:27

It's highly likely the hospital will have a breastfeeding policy. But beyond that, the doctor's own practice and knowledge is way out of date.

Finding out local policy and quoting it will be more effective than quoting WHO guidelines, I think.

MonstersDontCry Thu 16-May-13 15:40:12

And hope your DD gets better soon.

MonstersDontCry Thu 16-May-13 15:39:43

I would seriously be making a complaint. WHO guidelines are bf until at least two!

The more I think of what happened, the more I get angry that I let them treating me that way.

I will concentrate on dd getting better for now, but once she is recovered I will make a formal complaint

WouldBeHarrietVane Thu 16-May-13 14:04:52
tiktok Thu 16-May-13 14:04:32

Dear me. Breastfeeding is the 'Treatment' of choice in diarrhoea - it is the right thing to offer (there is NO evidence that because it has lactose in it should be avoided - this would only be in serious ongoing diagnosed cases of lactose intolerance. There are several guidelines on this and if you need to hunt them down, re-post and I will send you links.

And as for telling you not to comfort your child - what planet are they on?

I can understand you may not wish to complain formally at present but when the dust settles you may think again. It is dreadful that this doctor remains unchallenged to make other mothers and babies feel bad.

At the very least, write to the head of A&E, the breastfeeding lead in your area (the maternity unit will know who it is), and explain what happened.

What you did and said is not grounds for involving social services, and you don't need to fear that.

WouldBeHarrietVane Thu 16-May-13 13:57:45

Xylem the rules on lactose do not apply to human milk according to the latest research as set out in the big bf textbook often used by hcps - Breastfeeding Answers Made Simple (BAMS).

xylem8 Thu 16-May-13 13:43:17

Maybe she is too weak to BF sufficiently to replenish fluids at the moment.
Probably the BF was making things worse for her because diahhorea diminishes lactase so lactose is best avoided completely during a bout of diahhorrea.He probably thought this outweighed the benfits of BF at her age.
But he should have put things more diplomatically.

Euro this was in a&e so the chances of me seeing this dr again are hopefully very slim

EuroShaggleton Thu 16-May-13 13:35:55

Complain and change drs.

This all sounds very odd.

EauRouge Thu 16-May-13 13:33:24

What's your HV like, is she supportive? If so then could you have a chat with her? Or a local BF counsellor.

No one wants to be told they are doing things wrong, especially by medical professionals. I am so angry on your behalf. I hope you start getting your confidence back soon.

And I don't know my health visitor really well,

We moved when dd was 9 months old and I haven't had any allocated to me, she had her 12 months check with one but she said she wasn't my usual one. The only time I see health visitors is when I go and get her weighed at the baby clinic

Maybe if you didn't complain there's a middle ground. Perhaps speaking to the nurse manager or head of department and inform them politely that their staff appear to be in possession of out dated information and perhaps they could be reminded of WHO guidelines re breast feeding?

I am for real (I don't post very often but I am real)

I will look into pals and take it from there,

I am reluctant to complain as I don't want it to have any further effect on dd future treatment there.

My worry of the social services is that I am scared that they think I am not a good mum and take her away (very tearful since this morning as they made me feel like a bad mum) I know deep down that I am a good mum to her and provides to her every needs but they shattered my confidence this morning

I spoke to dh who is out of the country until next week, and he wants to complain.

lizzytee Thu 16-May-13 13:19:43

OP, you have every right to complain at the way both you and your daughter were treated. If you contact PALS (Patient Advisory and Liaison Service) at the hospital where you were seen they will explain how to raise a complaint. Think about it: you were given patently inaccurate information by a senior healtcare professional (don't give breastmilk, breastfeeding is 'worthless' even though every reputable source recommends continued breastfeeding for babies with diarrhoea), bullied when you questioned the treatment recommended and from the description you give it sounds like your daughter wasn't treated with the compassion and dignity that every patient deserves.

Hoping she feels better soon.

EauRouge Thu 16-May-13 13:12:40

What would they report you for- questioning advice? It is not a crime to question advice, especially if it goes against both NHS and WHO recommendations.

PALS would probably be the best people to speak to, you should be able to find their contact details on the hospital website.

WouldBeHarrietVane Thu 16-May-13 13:09:44

Dear op - I am so shocked by what happened sad absolute rubbish!! Why would the who say 2 years if there was no benefit after 6 months? Just rubbish!!

My DS is 22 months and still loves bf - I think the emotional and sleep inducing aspects alone are worth it, let alone the immunological benefits which are also very clear!

SteepApproach Thu 16-May-13 13:08:24

I'm sorry that you and your little one have been poorly treated. I can understand your reluctance to complain as well. Perhaps it would be wise to access your child's medical records to see what has been written down. I think in case of A&E visits your HV will be automatically be contacted anyway and will follow up with you to check on lo's progress? Is your HV sympathetic? If so, you could also discuss this experience with them.

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