need help don't know where to post

(87 Posts)
aldeburgh Thu 09-May-13 09:47:31

Dd2 is 7.5 weeks old... Has reflux to the extent that she cannot lay on her back as she gags and chokes. Has been this way since about a week old probably earlier but we just assumed it was usual newborn mucous issues and needing a warm body.... Symptoms started to develop and she was diagnosed by gp after hv suggested reflux.... Anyway.... Here we are exhausted.... Dd2 not gaining and dropping centiles so i was advised that she needed at least a bottle of formula a day to get her back on track. Andnow they are suggesting 2 and perhaps i should stop altogether.
I am not enjoying bf but of course i am shattered so can't. I have dd1 to look after. Getting as much help as possible but still exhausted... I sometimes think everyone is right i should give up.... I am losing a scary amount of weight and everyone is saying my supply is not enough. I just don't know what to do. I feel guilty for even thinking about giving up but what if i am not supplying enough and she could thrive on formula. Help.

BigPigLittlePig Thu 09-May-13 09:52:27

You poor thing. My dd has had reflux since she was born pretty much (now 5 months) so had similar problems with needing cuddles/not sleeping right/not being put down. Her weight has never been an issue as she comfort fed to help the reflux, BUT what I would say is, do what you need to do to get through this week, to begin with - and if that means giving the odd ff, eg at night so your dp could help whilst you sleep, then do it. It is not "giving up" or "failing" but doing right by you and your LO. With a bit more rest, your supply may improve, you may find you start to enjoy bf again, or you may decide to switch to ff or mix feed for the longterm. Please don't beat yourself up about it though, you're doing an amazing job.

BigPigLittlePig Thu 09-May-13 09:55:12

The other thing I should have said - is LO on medication for her reflux? She may be reluctant to feed due to pain, so it's worth getting her on the right combination of medication, plus perhaps trying some calpol, to encourage her to feed better.

And has she been checked for a tongue tie? It can often exacerbate reflux problems.

DoodleAlley Thu 09-May-13 10:00:12

I've had two children with reflux and have been encouraged to breast feed with both but they kept weight a little better.

It sounds to me like you need an urgent referral to a specialist reflux clinic. There are lots of medications they can try - we are currently
Going through the process with baby dd.

I'd suggest going to the drs and explain the effect on you as well as baby and ask if you can be referred somewhere that can try out different medicines.

In the meantime stick in there. It's a horrible horrible thing but they should grow out of it. Pm me if you ever need someone to let off steam to.

DoodleAlley Thu 09-May-13 10:05:10

Also try out bouncers/pushchairs for good alternative sleeping options.

DS did virtually all his naps in the pushchair set up in the hallway and I can see DD going the same way

aldeburgh Thu 09-May-13 10:22:36

Thanks so much both of you. She is napping in the sling right now. But keeps refluxing and gagging. It's awful.
Dh and i take shifts since we introduced one ff 2 weeks ago. I sleep 830 til 1 he sleeps til 630. But my supply hasn't improved. Dd feeds ok.... A really really long time each feed and i guess that is comfort for her. But clearly isn't getting enough to grow... Or poo enough.
Is it possible to mix feed successfully for any length of time? I always thought introducing ff was the beginning of the end.
She is on ranitidine since Sat but it might be making her worse.... Or just a coincidence but at this point i don't know if i am coming or going or which way is up.
Seeing lovely gp next week to see what is happening... She said we have to give each thing a try otherwise we won't know what is helping... She suggested cmpi and trying a diff formula and i am dairy free since 3 weeks so i don't have to stop bf but everyone thinks i should.
Sorry for stream of waffle

aldeburgh Thu 09-May-13 11:26:53

Oh and checked for tongue tie but seems fine. In actual fact has latched well from the start.... Which dd1 didn't. sad

DoodleAlley Thu 09-May-13 11:26:53

We have had ranitidine for both children. My understanding is that it doesn't stop the food coming up but makes it less acidic and so less painful for them.

DD has this in combo with peptac which is similar to gaviscon in that it provides a layer to reduce the actual milk coming back up. It works magnificently on DD but also stops her pooing so we are trying a lower dose today and crossing our fingers for poo! I do know it works well for lots though so worth asking about it.

To be honest the lack of rest isn't going to help your milk supply. Is there a breast feeding group you can go to for advice almost as a separate issue?

aldeburgh Thu 09-May-13 11:26:53

Oh and checked for tongue tie but seems fine. In actual fact has latched well from the start.... Which dd1 didn't. sad

DoodleAlley Thu 09-May-13 11:27:34

We have had ranitidine for both children. My understanding is that it doesn't stop the food coming up but makes it less acidic and so less painful for them.

DD has this in combo with peptac which is similar to gaviscon in that it provides a layer to reduce the actual milk coming back up. It works magnificently on DD but also stops her pooing so we are trying a lower dose today and crossing our fingers for poo! I do know it works well for lots though so worth asking about it.

To be honest the lack of rest isn't going to help your milk supply. Is there a breast feeding group you can go to for advice almost as a separate issue?

DoodleAlley Thu 09-May-13 11:28:04

Sorry for double post mn went on blink for me!

DoodleAlley Thu 09-May-13 11:36:39

Please correct me if I am wrong but I think the risk with mixed feeding is that they take extra milk they need as they grow from formula rather than increasing your supply.

But I don't know if this is true and if you are being advised by medical professionals to do it for your baby to thrive then I would do it without guilt but perhaps seek specialist breast feeding advice on how I make this work best.

The thing about reflux is that it sucks.
It's crappy and doesn't care about the toll it takes on you.
And as far as I'm concerned it means the gloves are off as you don't play by the rules. You do what you need to in order to keep going and enjoy what moments you can.

For DS this meant he got held upright to sleep and picked up terrible
Sleep habits. But you do it because the rules don't apply any
More.

When he was eighteen months his tummy was settled enough to do a gentle form of sleep training. Before that when we tried he would cry and vomit. He is now a fantastic pre school sleeper. We did what we needed to.

With DD she takes small feeds often. I'd love the routine I had with dS but my feeling is that she stops at the limit of her capacity and if I pushed it then her reflux would worsen.

Reflux means you break the rules, at least or a while. And you take it easy on yourself because it's flipping hard work and you are doing brilliantly getting through each day.

BigPigLittlePig Thu 09-May-13 11:37:17

Lots of my friends at baby groups successfully mix feed, so please don't worry too much about that. One in particular always gave her son 1 bottle at night since day 1, and has now swapped all daytime feeds to bottles at 5m, but still bf overnight.

Gaviscon is terrifically constipating for my dd, even just 1 sachet a day bungs her up. She's on ranitidine now A combination of the 2 was useful for getting things under control.

You said you've cut out dairy - for me the worst triggers have been chocolate, tea and coffee <weeps>. Fizzy frinks are apparently bad as well.

DoodleAlley Thu 09-May-13 14:29:18

I've been reading your tips too bigpiglittlepig always something else to learn. Giving up chocolate sounds hardcore but wouldbt harm my waist either!

I'm intrigued how fizzy drinks can affect the milk. Ive a weakness for sparkling water which I would gladly stop if it helped but I can't see how the bubbles would affect milk? Fizzy milk - now I can see that not being helpful for already bubbly babies!!

GraceGrape Thu 09-May-13 14:52:47

Hi, sounds like you're getting some helpful advice. I just wanted to add that if the Ranitidine is working you should notice the difference within just a few days - with my DD1 she improved literally overnight. There is a safe dosage "range" according to their weight. Most GPs start by prescribing the lowest dose but they can give you a higher one if it's not working. Ask your GP what the maximum safe dose for your LOs weight is. If it still doesn't seem to be helping, ask to try Omeprazole (again there is a safe "range" of doses). This sorted out DD2 when Ranitidine wouldn't work. It sounds like your GP is quite helpful - it can be a bit hit and miss with reflux.

I mix fed DD1 for 3 months before switching to bottle feeding. I think you can do it short term if you gradually reduce the amount of formula and get back on to just bf. If you do introduce regular formula, watch out for a worsening in the reflux. As you've heard, many reflux babies are cow's milk intolerant. It sounds like your GP would be open to trialling a hypoallergenic formula. Good luck!

ICompletelyKnowAboutGuineaPigs Thu 09-May-13 15:35:07

Just wanted to ask who checked for tongue tie? My DD has a posterior tt and her tongue looks normal. It wasn't until a IBSLC did a proper oral assessment that it was picked up.

tiktok Thu 09-May-13 15:40:21

Fizzy drinks will not and cannot affect breastmilk.

I suppose the caffeine in cola might be implicated - there are a few bits of research that implicated excessive caffeine intake with colic-like symptoms in the baby.

But the fizz? No effect at all smile

tiktok Thu 09-May-13 15:42:55

OP, if you dont want to stop breastfeeding (and there is nothing in your post that suggests this would be your only option) then do get the right checks on tongue tie, and whether your dd could feed more effectively and/or more often.

Can you give more info about her weight?

BigPigLittlePig Thu 09-May-13 19:00:36

Doodle sadly I don't think it's the fact it makes your bm fizzy, fun though that would be! No idea what it is in fizzy stuff that's apparently bad, I don't have any anyway bubbles go up my nose but when dd was very bad with reflux the GP suggested it. The abstaining from chocolate makes me sad, as chocolate (and coffee) would make reflux-induced sleep deprivation so much better.

Sorry OP, minor hijack there.
As you were smile

aldeburgh Thu 09-May-13 19:08:54

Hv and paed gp checked for tongue tie... But i will ask at next appt if it could be checked again. 2 midwives and hv have observed breastfeeds and all said she fed beautifully. Just for a long time. But i was told she was probably just comfort sucking after 30 mins.

Dd was born weighing 7lb6oz.... Lost 9% of birth weight... Then too slowly gained weight and dropped down to 9th centile at 5 weeks from the 25th. Cue advice to supplement her. I tried expressing but got less than an oz each time i tried and took 45 mins... More red flag over my supply.

Hardly shocking given the exhaustion from holding my baby for every sleep... I was given iron tablets after birth as my levels went down to 8.5 but they made me sick so i had to stop... That won't help my supply will it? And of course the stress and worry about my beautiful baby suffering and trying to look after a 3 year old... Pre school runs and basic housework.

I don't know how i could fit in more time on the breast in all honesty sad

aldeburgh Thu 09-May-13 19:12:13

Hijack away bigpiglittlepig... I miss chocolate so much... I have cut out caffeine too... I have a decaff tea once a day with hazlenut milk... It is not the same ;)

aldeburgh Thu 09-May-13 19:13:51

I thought the same thing about coffee helping get me through the day... Or even a couple of paracetomol for the skull crushing tiredness headaches. Sigh.

aldeburgh Thu 09-May-13 19:15:55

Gracegrape... How many bottles did you give when mix feeding?

aldeburgh Thu 09-May-13 19:18:11

Is it naive of me to think that my supply is ok if dd feeds off me now and will sleep on dh while he watches the football for 4/5 hours since start of this feed??

aldeburgh Thu 09-May-13 19:24:10

DoodleAlley ... I really worry about the negative sleep association... Could you lay your dc down on a wedge? We just ordered some. Hoping.
Thanks for saying about throwing out the rule book with reflux.... I shed a little tear at your post x

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