Any tips on weaning gently at 2 - not 'don't offer, don't refuse'

[AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate]

DD2 is nearly 2 and, although I have loved breastfeeding, I am ready to wind it down I think. She feeds before bed, first thing and before nap.

I'm in no big hurry - i.e. I really don't mind if it takes 3 or even 6 months - and I want to do it gently. But she's very attached to feeding, and verbal in her requests. Don't offer, don't refuse wouldn't work as she already asks more than I agree to - like just before lunch if she's getting peckish and I say 'well, not right now because it's nearly lunch time'. I've attempted offering something else before nap and been met with fury.

Any tips?

[Tailtwister]

I would say try to distract her as much as possible. If there are particular places/times she feeds, try to avoid them and be busy with something else. IME the nighttime feeds are hardest to stop (we co-sleep). DS2 has stopped during the day, but still likes to feed at bedtime, during the night if he can get it and in the morning.

DS1 stopped bf when he was 3 and he just stopped gradually without any particular encouragement from me. Imo they seem to stop when they no longer need it in the emotional sense ifyswim. That's not to say it's wrong to encourage weaning, that's just how it worked out for us.

At 2 your DD has had a great run and I appreciate you feeling you want to stop. I know I did at the same point, but with DS2 due soon after I had kind of resigned myself to tandem feeding, at least in the short term.

I would like to stop around 3 with DS2 as well, but he's stronger willed so I may have to be more proactive. We shall see...

[BadPenny]

I was back at work from around 10 months so only had morning and evening feeds (night weaned around the same time by having my husband cover the night settling duties for a weekend). At 18 months I was pregnant again and had to stop the evening feed which was just too boisterous for my poor nipples.

Again this meant my husband had to cover bedtime for a couple of nights. Do you have anyone who could do this? Was by far the easiest way. And you might find once you're down to one feed a day your milk supply goes. Mine did - could be also pregnancy related - so by 20 months or so he just self weaned. The last few feeds were really short and sometimes days apart. Good luck!

[AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate]

Thanks both of you.

DD1 self weaned when I was pregnant- I think it was a supply thing.

I could maybe think about missing bedtime for a few nights, although she's pretty determined and I doubt she would forget that fast! I might need a month off! She doesn't feed to sleep, so it's not a question of someone else needing to settle her exactly - she will go without on the odd occasion I am not there.

I think I might start by moving the pre-bed feed to pre-bath. That way I stand more chance of distracting and one day ending up at bath without doing it. Tail - I think the issue we will have is that all three feeds are pretty established - it's when she wakes up in the morning, pre-nap (so as we are next to her cot) and just before she gets into bed. None of those places and situations can really be avoided. So maybe I need to try and move some of them to a time/place where avoidance may be possible as a first step!

[AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate]

Sorry, that last sentence should say 'distraction may be possible'