Struggling at 13 months

(8 Posts)
Gingersnap88 Thu 25-Apr-13 11:23:48

My daughter is 13 months and was EBF until we started baby led weaning at 6 months. She wasn't really interested in food at all until she started walking at around 10 months. However, she still wouldn't eat much and wouldn't sleep through the night, still feeding a lot in the day and the night.

For the last month, I've had on going problems in both of my breasts. My right one has always suffered from blocked ducts and blebs, so I had 2 weeks of that, and then 2 weeks on the left side which has now turned into thrush. I am exhausted and in agony.

We've started sleep training (gentle) and she has been sleeping through most night (5 out of 7) but my breasts just don't seem to be coping. They hurt so much, I feel so worn out.

I don't know anyone else who is still breastfeeding, and everyone I talk to you (husband, friends, family, healthcare professionals) tell me to stop, that I've done well but I need to think of myself.

I am feeling so miserable and sad all of the time. I can't cope with the lack of sleep anymore, that's why I decided to night wean. But I feel so guilty. I worked so hard to get this far and I don't want to give up but I don't want it to be difficult anymore. I'm sick of being in pain.

Any words of wisdom? Thank you for letting me get that off my chest!

cathan Thu 25-Apr-13 12:30:19

It sounds to me as if you're tired and worn out after the stress of the last few weeks and no wonder. You must try to dismiss any feelings of guilt if it is time to stop breastfeeding. You've done a fantastic thing for your daughter and should be proud of yourself. Having breastfed 2 babies ( DD to 9 months and DS to 8 months) I know how hard it can be and really think you've done a fab job getting so far. Breastfeeding is a tremendous commitment and you have done amazingly well. Now you should focus on introducing your baby to a range of great foods and other exciting new experiences. And give yourself credit for all you've achieved so far. Also, if you continue to feel down, it might be an idea to talk things over with your GP or Health Visitor. All the best.

DIYandEatCake Thu 25-Apr-13 15:46:00

If you feel that you're not ready to give up, is there a branch of La Leche League near you? I go with dd (now 2) and the people there have helped get us through some tricky times (there tend to be other mums feeding older babies/toddlers there too).

Have you tried expressing at your bedtime to help with the blocked ducts? If you do decide to stop it may be best to do it gradually to avoid causing more problems with engorgement etc. and it might be easier on your dd that way too. I feel your pain, we had a bad time at about 7 months when dd bit me and it got infected - took a month and antibiotics to clear up and was agony, still have a scar shock, I did start to think about giving up but luckily it healed in the end. Don't feel bad whatever you do, if you stop now there are other ways of being close to your dd and giving her comfort.

NothingsLeft Thu 25-Apr-13 19:40:54

I feel for you. I went through a similar thing a couple of months ago. Even tried to get DS on formula for a while but things got better and I was too lazy continue with the bottles. I did make an effort to reduce the number of feeds. DS is 13 months too and we're down to around four a day now.

I might weaned at 9 months but it make no difference at all to his appalling sleep. It did mean DH could share the nights though which has helped with the exhaustion. My boob a are still huge every morning four month later shock I keep getting blocked ducts too. No idea how I'm ever going to stop completely....

13 months is really good going with BFing. If you feel it's time, it's fine to stop. You have done amazingly smile
They can go onto cows milk, so it's easy to substitute.

Don't feel pressured because of other people though. It's not the norm to BF at all in the UK so people are always surprised you're doing it, especially as they get bigger. I love feeding DS now and I'm pleased I continued. You need to do what right for you. Gets some sleep always helps and the boobs will settle down so I'm told

Gingersnap88 Thu 25-Apr-13 21:08:44

Thank you so much, I was on such a low ebb and found your posts really reassuring. I went to my local bf group today, had a chat, it was good but my DD is the oldest there. I will look up LLL meetings near me.

We are down to four feeds a day too, doesn't sound bad now someone else is doing it too!

I really love it, I just want it to be easier!

WouldBeHarrietVane Thu 25-Apr-13 23:28:23

You are definitely not alone - we are still bf too smile hope you find some like minded people at LLL.

NothingsLeft Fri 26-Apr-13 09:25:47

I second going to le leche. It's definitely normalised it for me.

I had never seen anyone BF before I had DS. I was shock at my first meeting when I saw a 14 month old BFing. Now that person is me grin

If you want to cut down to just a couple of feeds a day, they will help you find the best way for you. I've made a couple of friends too. All helps.

WouldBeHarrietVane Fri 26-Apr-13 10:21:16

Oh yes nothing - I remember being really shocked when I saw someone bf an 18 month old at my first meeting. Now I'm doing it smile

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