I need encouragement

(18 Posts)
squidkid Thu 18-Apr-13 13:11:34

Baby is 6.5 months old now. She is wonderful. She has been completely exclusively breastfed, I don't even know how to make up a bottle. I was lucky and fortunate and well supported and very grateful. I am a bit shattered though.

Nights are pretty good - she sleeps 7-7 with one feed at around 4 and maybe one other waking not for food - but god, the days... I feed her every hour. We are on solids too now (2-3 times a day, doing finger foods rather than purees) and I feel like feeding her is my entire life. She is easy going most of the time, but she has started screaming when she wants food (after 45-60 minutes), headbutting me, punching my boobs, pulling my top up. I don't mind public feeding at all but the public meltdowns are exhausting. Sometimes I'm on a main road nowhere near a bench.

I thought by this age I might be able to get 3-4 hours to myself between feeds but I can't seem to get away from her for any amount of time. I love her, I don't mind too much, but her dad would love to take her out at the weekend and he can't, really. I had to go to a child-free wedding recently and I expressed loads of milk over weeks and weeks and she refused all of it and just binged off me when I got home. (And I tipped all the milk down the sink.)

I try to eat sensibly and exercise (I don't diet) - I am near enough my pre-preg size but I definitely don't want to put any weight back on - and I am very very tired, and part of me thinks it's the breastfeeding. This is supposed to get easier, isn't it? Any idea when...?

I feel kind of like giving up. But I don't want to, and I guess I kind of need some encouragement sad

Have a brew.

You are doing such a good job, and I don't think it's a bit unreasonable to want a bit longer than under an hour between feeds at that age. I think mine was still feeding around every 2-3 hours at that age, but that's very different to every hour.

Rather than giving up when you don't want to, how would you feel about spoonfeeding her some milky porridge for breakfast? The fact that you're doing your other 2 meals as finger foods should still reap all the benefits of blw.

Re. Your DP taking her out alone - now that she's 6.5 months, there's no reason why he can't give her solids and water instead of doing bottle battles. He could go for a coffee and pop her in a high chair and try a little meal - a banana, or pieces of cheese, or porridge? Would she take that?

Sorry, I meant to say re. the spoonfed brekkie - this was the route we took. not strict blw, but a mix of both. And it's worked really really well. Got all the calories in, but still lots of opportunities for messing and exploring with new tastes.

marzipananimal Thu 18-Apr-13 13:27:00

That does sound really hard but it's likely that very soon she'll start taking more solids and need less milk, she could maybe have yoghurt and a cup of water if you leave her. You're doing great and fwiw it was after 6 months that I started to really enjoy bfing

squidkid Thu 18-Apr-13 14:01:25

Sorry I am probably exaggerating a bit. It's more like every 1-2 hours, but it still feels like a lot. I don't want to complain because I know we're very lucky with our nights!

I like the porridge idea - would you use normal milk or formula (sorry if this is a stupid question - I am a bit confused about this). What kind of formula if so? I am not feeling massively motivated to express after the wedding fiasco!

I really suspect my boyfriend could manage with her out because I think she doesn't want milk all the time unless I'm there... but I don't want to put him in that position with no milk for backup! Taking food out to a coffee shop is a great idea though, maybe we will try that.

She absolutely loves food, but it doesn't mean she's taking any less milk. I guess she's not eating much yet, though given we've only been at it 2 weeks she's eaten more than I thought. (eg yesterday: fully ate 2 strawberries & half an apricot & some yoghurt & chewed on a bit of bread for breakfast, half an egg and about 6 spoonfuls of lentils for lunch, had some more fruit for tea)

I really don't want to bottle-feed yet (or possibly ever). I guess I just need to hear that she's going to drop some feeds at some point!!!

ps. she sounds like a right greedy guts - she's actually kind of little!! Maybe my milk is just a bit crap!

She will drop feeds, don't worry. And yes absolutely she won't be looking for boob when she's out with her dad. It's a different story. My DP used to do this with DD from about this age, it was great! Have you started giving her water yet and what does she drink from?

For the porridge, well, if you feel up to it you could express but I never bothered. Hated expressing. Cows milk is fine with porridge from 6 months but I often used carton formula - one carton would last 2 days in the fridge. Good luck

squidkid Thu 18-Apr-13 14:17:45

Yes I offer water with meals sometimes - just from an open cup with handles. It's a bit messy if not carefully controlled - she seems keen though.

Oh thank you - you've really cheered me up. My boyfriend is on holiday next week and he wanted to do some things just the two of them but we we both worried she would need feeding every hour and it wouldn't really be possible. I resented expressing for that wedding so much I couldn't face the thought of doing it again, and she refused the bottle last time anyway.

WouldBeHarrietVane Thu 18-Apr-13 14:20:23

They only drop their milk feeds slowly as solids are introduced. My DS didn't reduce feeds until a few months after we started blw.

If you let them drop feeds at their own pace then their weight gain will be just right for them and they will increase their solids as they are developmentally ready to.

If you just keep up the good work she will cut down feeds as and when she is ready and you will get a bit longer to do your own thing.

DH now takes DS out to activities all the time btw - DS is over 1 - and I am still bf and really happy to be. DS eats solids really well too!

WouldBeHarrietVane Thu 18-Apr-13 14:21:05

I wouldn't give formula - you can cook porridge with cows milk.

I had a backward-slide about this age. Turns out it was the 6 month growth spurt combined with the return of my periods. There was a definite dip in milk supply about two weeks before the start of my period. We got through it, though I did have about 3-4 nights when she suddenly started waking every hour. It all settled down within a couple of weeks.

We also started giving a drink of cows milk at mid-morning instead of breastmilk, and cows milk on cereal/in cooking.

You're on the home straight now, and remember that a glass of wine and piece of chocolate cake can make anything feel better.

Hope your DP gets on well and that you can have a little break. You can just tank her up before and after smile

noblegiraffe Thu 18-Apr-13 18:30:08

My regularly feeding DS (we didn't even get good nights!) started spacing his feeds out at 7 months. I remember him going 3 hours without a feed and it being really weird. And liberating!

leedy Thu 18-Apr-13 19:00:05

Baby will totally start dropping feeds soon - I remember with DS1 I felt around 6-7 months that I was constantly feeding him either boob or solids, then suddenly around 8 months he "got" that food satisfied his hunger as well as milk. Hang in there!

squidkid Thu 18-Apr-13 21:08:23

Thank you all so much.

I think I had 6 months in mind as the magic point to "get to" - I've got here, and it's just the same! But I know, it won't be forever.

Anyway it is the first day of DP's holiday tomorrow and he is going to take baby to a library group and have a coffee with her, he is going to take a yoghurt and banana and try her with water if she's hungry. I'm going to go for a swim and round the shops - all these things are within 10 minutes walk of each other so if he needs me I can come. I'm really looking forward to it. Wish us luck!!

Good luck and enjoy! It's lovely for you but it's also great for your DP. Hope it's the first of many dad & daughter outings.

squidkid Fri 19-Apr-13 13:44:17

I had a swim & went to the market this morning and she was fine with dad (though screamed with hunger as soon as she saw me!!!) and then I fed her and they went out for nearly 3 hours - he had lunch with her in a cafe and said the waitresses were all over him grin

She managed to go down for a nap without milk while out so that is REALLY encouraging!!

Thank you so much for giving me the confidence to do this. I've had such a lovely morning.

amazingface Fri 19-Apr-13 14:43:19

That's lovely! Good work team smile

Oh, I'll bet the waitresses were all over him - it was apparently the same with my DP, and he was super smug showing off the baby...still is come to think of it grin

My husband couldn't wait to run off with DD - he reports she is an absolute "babe magnet" smile

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