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Feeling odd for bf past 6m

(32 Posts)
sparklekitty Mon 01-Apr-13 12:11:59

My DD is just 6mo. We've started blw and introduced a bit of formula for when I go back to work at 9mo (cant get much off when I express). However, loads of people have asked/told me I should stop bf now. When I say I'm going to till at least a year I've had so many cat bum mouths! My DH is very supportive and agrees a year minimum (I'm very lucky that after a rocky start bf has been very easy for me)

So as my friends all start to stop bf-ing and DM and MIL start pulling faces when I talk about it, please help me not feel like a freak (I know MN is the place for this)

Hopeforever Mon 01-Apr-13 12:16:02

Your baby, your body, your decision!

Sadly you will need a thick skin to cope with some people's reactions to your decision. Have a quick one liner to stop them in their tracks, well it might work for some.

There is plenty of evidence that BFing a toddler until they are 2 is beneficial. Some mums continue for longer, it's their choice, not members of the wider family or friends.

Good luck, well done

No! Food is fun until they are one!! Ignore the cat bum mouths u are right! My DD is 6 months and I'm still feeding grin

KirstyJC Mon 01-Apr-13 12:17:26

I would tell them to stop talking about it, and that you will do as you see fit with your own child. Polite but firm and do not enter into further discussion about it.

Some people at work ask occasionally if I'm still feeding and I just say 'yes -great isn't it?'. They soon shut up. (DS3 is 2).

They can't make you feel bad, they can only comment - it's up to you how you feel about them - and if you're happy with your choice then stuff 'em. Stop worrying about it and just carry on. smile

UnderwaterBasketWeaving Mon 01-Apr-13 12:20:02

You're not a freak, you're normal.

I only just stopped feeding ds a few weeks before his 2nd birthday. And I felt selfish that he hadn't self weaned, but that I needed myself back.

Also, when you go back to work and she's having formula during the day, people will stop asking and assume you've stopped. At least they did with me.

You can then continue morning and evening (and all weekend) for as long as you like. Without anyone knowing.

Except I continued to mention it, because it's NORMAL and should be talked about (where it comes up, obviously, not randomly to strangers!) grin

You are not a freak! Of course not. Quote the WHO guidelines at them and carry on. Will those people who criticise even see you feed I wonder? It does become less frequent naturally as they get older. By a year my 2 were on about 3 or 4 feeds a day so maybe you need never confront them over it. Best thing is probably not to engage with them and do your own thing once you have told them what you intentions are. Tell them once and then ignore them.

Your choice! Other people's opinions are just that, and they should learn to keep them to themselves.

I bf DD just past 1yr, but after that, she lost interest and so we moved to formula. She'd had the odd bit of formula before that, on days when milk was low, and in the very early days when post C-Section I physically couldn't get up and deal with her on the odd occasion.

I am not working (student) but did used to express milk from time to time. I quite often would express from one breast whilst feeding from the other. When she was losing interest in breastfeeding we were mostly on first thing and last thing during the day being 'natural' feeds, and during the day she had formula. If I felt a bit leaky/full of milk, I'd express some and store it.

minicc Mon 01-Apr-13 12:22:06

I bf till my daughter was 13 months. I got grief from the start for being 'selfish', but I found after about 9 months it doesn't really come up in conversation and people assume you've stopped. If people asked, I told them, but didn't feel it was anyone else's business. Just smile and say yes in a tone that suggests its not open for discussion, thankyouverymuchleavemealone!

Startail Mon 01-Apr-13 12:22:53

Nothing to do with them.
BF for as long as you and DD want to.

DD1 was never EBF she hated BFing and gave up totally at 5 months.

DD2 carried on well past 6 years.

Honestly it is no body else's business and DCs often move to mornings and evenings only so people only know if you tell them.

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Mon 01-Apr-13 12:23:48

You are most definately NOT a freak. Ignore the people who tell you to stop. And ignore DM and MiL, they are behaving selfishly. You should only stop when you and DD are ready, not when somebody else tells you to.
It is good that DH supports you.

Do you have a local breast feeding support group that has parents who have fed for longer? They may be able to help you with ways to deal with the negative comments.

Startail Mon 01-Apr-13 12:25:55

18 month old who was here last week had a quick mid afternoon BF. I'd forgotten. So many of my DF, DSIL and myself BF preschoolers, he's still a baby to me.

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 01-Apr-13 12:27:08

Exactly what hope said.

When I had dc1 and the HV came for her first appointment, she said I was the only mum on her books bfing and she was amazed I'd made it to 2 weeks. If I'd listened to dmil I wouldn't have even tried bfing.

Try to ignore them. You can always quote the old reliable "things have changed, its recommended for a mimimum of 2 years now", "this works for us all as a family" or even "I'm trying to get on the next episode of Extreme Bfing, thought we'd carry on until she's in high school" grin

It might help you if you went to a local bfing support group, you will meet some local bfing mums and not feel so alone.

Are you going back to work full time? I went back at 10 months and didnt bother with formula during the day, they had food and water and I bf first thing, when I picked them up and before bed. Give one of the bfing helplines a call and they'll talk you through how much she'll need at 9 months and how to reduce your feeds so you don't end up with mastitis when you start back.

You are doing brilliantly, especially as you had a rocky start. Just look at what you've achieved already smile

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 01-Apr-13 12:28:02

My two year old is still BFing, my eldest stopped the day before his 2nd birthday,

Ignore smile

soaccidentprone Mon 01-Apr-13 12:31:05

6 months is still tiny.

I fed ds1 till he was 10 months and only stopped 'cos he started buying me really hard. the last straw was when he turned his head and bit my arm and gave me a bruise.

I fed ds2 till he was 2. I just kept repeating to people that the WHO recommends bfing to the age of 2. you just have to be really assertive about your decision (and act as though the other person is really stupid for even suggesting it).

I don't really see what it's got to do with anyone else anyway.

soaccidentprone Mon 01-Apr-13 12:34:27

I also found it helped to be with other mums who were still bfing. I went to nct working mums group once a week which was full of bfing mums. or there might be a bfing cafe near you?

reastie Mon 01-Apr-13 12:34:31

Ignore ignore ignore. Do what you want/what feels best for your family. I bf dd to sleep at night. She's 2 YO. I started out just wanting to make it to 6 months, then a year, then see how things go to 2 years. Honestly in so many countries it's the norm for years. In my experience feeding to a year for many people who bf is the norm.

Welovegrapes Mon 01-Apr-13 12:36:11

You are an absolute star for feeding to 6 months. As JJJ says - massive benefits and so many more to come if you keep going.

You don't need to introduce ff now, btw - your baby will take cups fine when you go back and I found it much easier to express enough ebm at that stage to drink from a cup when I was at work.

Do you have an LLL group near you? They have a really supportive atmosphere and you will meet like minded mums.

sparklekitty Mon 01-Apr-13 12:41:01

Wow, thanks all. I know I'm doing the right thing for my DD, she really isn't a fan of formula (getting a few oz down her is such an effort but I have to keep going with it) She gets so much comfort from bf-ing and I know it's the best thing for her. I've done the whole 'food for fun till 1' thing and I get 'well we're just thinking of you and not coping with the lack of sleep' (DD still feeds every 2 hours at night).

I know it's nothing to do with anyone else but I feel like I'm trying to justify myself. I feel like others think I'm doing it for myself. I text my mum the other night (she'll be looking after DD when I work 2 days) saying we'd managed 2 oz from a bottle and she replied 'the less breast she has from now on is better in my opinion'. I just ignored her but it hurt. I know I'm probably being over sensitive about it.

fraktion Mon 01-Apr-13 12:47:44

I understand that you feel sensitive. I hit that stage briefly - I think most first time EBFers do - but if you power through it, lay in a good stock of one liners and act like it's the most natural thing in the world (which it is) then it's surprising how little those kind of comments come to mean. You do what is right for you and your DD - everyone else has the right to do what's right for them but that doesn't include sabotaging your BFing.

<slight hijack> Ali where have you been hiding?!

minicc Mon 01-Apr-13 12:48:18

Please try and stop thinking about it so much! It makes you and your family happy, so that's enough. Take each day as it comes. No justification needed, your family will have to like it or lump it. A bf group sounds like a good place for you, especially to give you the support you are lacking slightly from your own mum. You sound like you are doing a grand job!

Just as an aside, you might find your Dd takes more formula from your mother than from you. My DS1 would never take it from me but would happily take it if I wasn't there (I thought about weaning him off the breast at 6 mths but didn't in the end although he had some formula from time to time if I leave him somewhere). That being the case you need never mention bf to her again - as far as she is concerned your Dd has formula.

Wishiwasanheiress Mon 01-Apr-13 16:20:12

I bfd dd1 til 15mths because she fell asleep on boob at night and I was too chicken to change method incase she never slept again. I didnt tell anyone, i just ignored the off remarks. That was a far bigger worry to me than cat bum mouths.

Ill do til about a year this time because I think I want to. To hell with everyone else. Do what u feel is right. It's ur boob and baby.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Tue 02-Apr-13 11:15:29

Hello frak! I keep meaning to come over and say hello... grin

OP - just tell your Mum that she is upsetting you. The WHO recommends BFing alongside food until at least age 2 - that recommendation is for the UK as well as for developing countries. You are doing what makes you and your baby happy, and at the same time doing what is best for both your health.

Also - don't stress about the formula. There is a huge, huge difference between a 6 month old and a 9 month old. By 9 months your DD will be eating much more, drinking water with her meals and so on. If she ends up having very little formula and then having a big feed from you when you get in then that will be fine smile

Bunny19 Tue 02-Apr-13 11:31:06

God I could have written this post myself, only half an hour ago I was having that converstaion with my OH after a visit from the MIL asking when I was going to stop breastfeeding again! For me it has only just got easy and I'v only just really started to appreciate the bond I have with my DD and I really enjoy it now! Why would I do all the hard work just give up just as it gets good!

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 02-Apr-13 11:48:18

My (normally very lovely) mil once said "you'll probably find you'll want to give up bf when DD is 6 mths". She got The Death Glare and it was never mentioned again. I don't think you're over sensitive, well no more than me! It's really no-one's else's business. Why are you texting your DM about bottles/feeding? It just gives them ammunition for unnecessary comments. I realise that she'll be looking after your DD in a few months but you don't need to give her ammo in the meantime. I was in a similar position with DD, she just had a bottle at lunchtime when I went back to work. It will all work out fine smile

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